pants: I SUCK DICK IN THE BATHROOM deuce: YOU DON'T SAY

(pants): OKAY NOW THIS TIME I'M SUCKING DICK IN THE SUPER K-MART (pants): I'M OUT OF CONTROL

pants: JESUS PUT US HERE ON EARTH TO FUCK AND SUCK THINGS pants: PLANTS, ANIMALS, MINERALS deuce: PROTISTS deuce: THE AIR deuce: ABSTRACT FEELINGS SUCH AS GRATITUTDE pants: YEAH ALL THAT SHIT GONNA GET SO FUCKED pants: PAC-MAN BUT THE GHOSTS ARE RETARDED AND EASILY SCARED

pants: PEOPLE OF THE EARTH pants: I AM GOING TO SUCK THE COCKS OF THE CAST OF "USER FRIENDLY" pants: I'VE NEVER READ THE FUCKING THING FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS pants: SO I CAN'T REFERENCE THE CHARACTERS INDIVIDUALLY pants: THE THING PRETTY MUCH MADE ME SICK SO I GAVE UP pants: WHY DON'T YOU JUST FUCKING DRAW BLOOM COUNTY pants: GIVE IT UP AND PACK IT IN pants: ANYWAY SUCKING ALL YOUR COCKS AT ONCE BAGHALUGHALG

spigot: NEIL GAIMAN HASN'T TWEETED IN AWHILE

pants: ACTUALLY **HER** NAME IS JACQUELINE REACHER NOW

spigot: SUCKS TO BE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: SO UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY SUCKS TO BE ME MYSELF AND I, YOURS TRULY spigot: FAT FLOPPY FARTS

pants: SING IT NOW THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD deuce: THIS SONG ALWAYS ENDS UP WITH ME GETTING A BLACK EYE pants: AND ME PREGGERS deuce: RIGHT deuce: WE ALL HAVE OUR LOTS IN LIFE pants: SUDDENLY: GAY MARRIAGE

spigot: ANY SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY IS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM COCKSUCKING

pants: T SPIGOT WOULD YOU RATHER BE MANFONDLED BY SUFJAN STEVENS OR FATHER JOHN MISTY OR DAN THE AUTOMATOR

spigot: S U I C I D E deuce: DALFHDSFH

pants: MOP IT UP OFF YOUR STOMACH WITH MY HAIR

deuce: SUICIDE VESTS pants: MAYBE THEY SHOULD TRY A SUICIDE TURTLENECK OR A SUICIDE ASCOT JUST TO MIX IT UP ONCE IN A WHILE deuce: SUICIDE CAPRI PANTS pants: WHATEVER MAKES MELOOK SLIM

spigot: [REDACTED] ARE......... HIDEOUS deuce: ACCURATE SAMPLING METHODS

spigot: WELPS TIME FOR MY PATIENCE PILLS spigot: DOOPS, TOOK THE SUICIDE PILLS spigot: IMPATIENTLY WAITING TO DIE spigot: FUCK IT, MORE SUICIDE PILLS GULP GOMPTH GURK spigot: OKAY THOSE WERE THE PATIENCE PILLS spigot: NEED A LABEL MAKER spigot: NOPE, SUDDENLY COMFORTABLE AND FEELIN' FINE spigot: DEAD

spigot: EVERYONE BE QUIET I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!!!!!!! spigot: *BLAM*

deuce: SHOW US YOUR TITS pants: WEARING A SUIT OF ARMOR, NOT EASY TO FLAP THEM OUT deuce: DO OR DIE pants: CLANK CLONK HOLD ON (FOOT STUCK IN WASTEPAPER BASKET)

: SULAWESI TORAJA : GRADE 1 LOT 6447 : ROASTED ON : 3/3/2004 : "spigot" coffee labels : circa 2004 : jerkcity.com

: SUMMARY OF COMMANDS : Commands marked with * may be preceded by a number, N. : Notes in parentheses indicate the behavior if N is given. : h H Display this help. : q :q :Q ZZ Exit. : e ^E j ^N CR * LICK A DICK : y ^Y k ^K ^P * SUCK THAT COCK OVER THERE : f ^F ^V SPACE * CHOKE THESE FOUR AT ONCE : b ^B ESC-v * CRAM IT STATESIDE : z * PRAY TO THE LORD : w * LICK ANOTHER DICK (SEE ABOVE) : d ^D * OH THANK HEAVEN FOR 7-11 : R Repaint screen, discarding buffered input.

deuce: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF HELP ME deuce: FPTHHTHHHHH I'M COVERED IN DICKS AND THEY'RE SWARMING ME pants: CHOMP HORMPH HOAGHULAGHLAHGLAHGLAHGLAHLGUHALG YOU ARE SAFE deuce: T PANTS THANK YOU I AM FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT pants: UP UP AND AWAY

spigot: HOW DO YOU MAKE COLDS GO AWAY QUICKLY deuce: THERE REALLY ISN'T ANY WAY (YOU JUST HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH IT) deuce: ONLY THING I CAN SUGGEST IS THE STANDARD THING -- LOTS OF FLUIDS AND LOTS OF REST deuce: AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY FLUIDS spigot: HOLY

pants: :HIBISCUS: :SUNFLOWER: :TULIP: SUMMER DIARRHEA :CHERRY_BLOSSOM: :BLOSSOM: :BOUQUET:

pants: TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME???? pants: C'MON pants: C'MONNNNNNNNNNNNNN deuce: NOT UNTIL YOU CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK pants: FIRST OF ALL I DON'T HAVE A ROOM I HAVE A BED OF SAWDUST FASHIONED INTO A NEST AND SECOND I DON'T HAVE SUMMER SCHOOL deuce: NO ARGUING, JAYBIRD pants: I AM TAKING AN ONLINE COURSE COVERING HOW TO STUFF LARGE OBJECTS IN MY CHEEKS BUT THAT'S SELF-DIRECTED

spigot: THE LINUX SUICIDE EXPO????? spigot: THE LINUX POISON-DRINKING SUMMIT?????????

atandt: SUNDAY IS THE HOLY DAY PEOPLE deuce: SHUT

pants: DICKS atandt: DICKS atandt: ANYTHING ELSE ON THE DOCKET TODAY? pants: CHECKING pants: NO: JUST DICKS atandt: I LOVE SUNDAYS

pants: I LIKE THE DIXIE CHICKS deuce: YOU'RE LATE pants: YOU CAN'T STOP THESE ARMS FROM HUGGING YOU deuce: NO I CANNOT BUT I CAN SCREAM SO LOUD THE WHOLE WORLD WILL HEAR ME pants: SPIGOT THE BEAR WILL BE RIGHT BACK

spigot: SIR YOU ARE SPREADING/SMEARING SUNSHINE ALL OVER MY FACE

pants: YOU ARE THE SUNSHINE OF MY LIFE deuce: I DO NOT THINK THAT I AM pants: I'M GOING TO HUMP YOU UNTIL YOU BELIEVE

deuce: KEEPING QUIET AND HOLDING PERFECTLY STILL (TO AVOID BEING DETECTED)

spigot: THESE TWILIGHT HOURS ALONE IN THE STALL GIVE ME TIME TO REFLECT ON IF I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE spigot: ALSO I CAN MAKE ECHOES spigot: NOTHING'S BUSIER THAN SUNDAY BRUNCH

pants: LORDY GOD pants: LORDY GOD IN HEAVEN CAN YOU HEAR ME pants: LISTEN UP LORDY GOD AND LISTEN GOOD pants: COS YOU GOTTA LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO pants: FIRST WHY DID YOU SPREAD ALL THE UNLICKED DICKS ACROSS CONTINENTS pants: SECOND DO YOU VALIDATE PARKING pants: HELLO deuce: PUNCH MY TICKET

spigot: saturday!!!!!!!!! spigot: should i poo in my pants ???? or poo in your pants spigot: stop shitting yourself / stop shitting yourself spigot: hurrrrrrr the sunday squirts spigot: mondays

spigot: I HOPE NO UKRANIANS PUSH INTO MY KURSK REGION

pants: SERIOUSLY WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO WITH MY SUNGLASSES deuce: NO IDEA WHERE THEY WENT

pants: THAT BETTER BE SUNSHINE ON MY FACE

spigot: SUPER GREAT NEWS: ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO GENERATIVE A.I. WAS USED IN THE CREATION OF MY UTTERLY DOG SHIT WEBTOON

pants: LOOKING UP HOOKER IN THE YELLOW PAGES pants: FLIP FLIP FLIP pants: TRYING WHORE pants: COCKSUCKER pants: THROWING THE YELLOW PAGES AGAINST THE WALL spigot: JUST GO TO SEARS.COM pants: THEY ONLY HAVE DUDES WITH MUSTACHES pants: DON'T GET ME WRONG THEY'RE SUPER HANDSOME AND HOLD DOORS OPEN FOR ME BUT I'M JUST NOT

deuce: I KNOW THAT IF I EVER GET STRANDED ON AN ALIEN WORLD WHICH CONFERS SUPER POWERS TO ME I'LL FIGHT CRIME

pants: I'M A SUPERPOWER PFFFFFFT PFFFT pants: HONK HAMP DUH deuce: STOP SPITTING ON ME PLEASE MR. SUPERPOWER pants: PFFFFFFT PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT SORRY I'M TRYING TO GET THIS CAT HAIR OUT OF MY PFFFFFFFFFFFFT OH IT'S A DICK NOT A PFFFFFFT PFTT

deuce: IF I REALLY LICK THIS DICK WILL IT MAKE ME GAY LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE SAYS OR WILL IT GIVE ME SUPER POWERS LIKE WHAT YOU SAY spigot: SUPER POWERS

spigot: WHY IS MY MOUSE SUPER WARM LIKE IT WAS RAY TRACING MOTION BLURS ALL NIGHT deuce: OH I STORED IT IN MY ASS FOR YOU spigot: WELL THAT IS NOT WHERE IT GOES pants: MY WACOM TABLET

spigot: SERIOUSLY HOW ABOUT A SUPERCUT OF ALL THE DICKS I LICKED OVER LABOR DAY WEEKEND spigot: GLK spigot: BLK spigot: GURK spigot: BLURK spigot: BLORK spigot: BGLK spigot: GLKTH spigot: GURKTH spigot: PLGBTH spigot: GKNLBTH spigot: PLTH spigot: ... spigot: ... spigot: IT SEEMS LIKE THERE WOULD BE WAY MORE

deuce: MY SUPERHERO NAME IS THADDEUS THALLIUM deuce: SORRY WRONG CHANNEL pants: THREE PEOPLE FOR THIS STRIP ??

pants: SUPERMAN'S PACKAGE atandt: THERE BETTER BE FULL-FRONTAL

spigot: BLOP SPLOP LITERALLY NO SUPPLY CHAIN DISRUPTION HERE BAGURK BAGOLP

pants: I SURE DO LOVE TO SOAP UP MY GENITALS deuce: WHO DOESN'T deuce: (LIKE SOAPING UP YOUR GENITALS)

spigot: SURE IS FUN TO FIX WINDOWS AUDIO + BLUETOOTH PROBLEMS ALL DAY

deuce: WHEN I TYPE SSSH IT SAYS "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN" AND I'M LIKE "SURE YOU DO THE SECURE SHELL THINGY" AND IT SAYS "SUCK DICK FAGGOT"

spigot: SURELY THE BEST USE OF MY TIME WILL SOMEDAY BE MADE CLEAR

effigy: SOMETIMES I ZONE OUT... THEN WHEN I SNAP OUT OF IT I REALIZE THAT I HAVE BEEN TAPPING MY BALLS LIKE BONGO DRUMS FOR THE PAST FEW MINUTES effigy: THEN I GO GET SOME ICE deuce: THAT'S WHAT RICHARD FEYNMAN WOULD DO BUT WITHOUT THE TESTICLES spigot: HE WOULD PULL HIS BALLS THROUGH HIS ZIPPER AND WALK AROUND LOS ALAMOS WAVING AT PEOPLE

spigot: THE KUDDLE WUDDLE KITTY KLUB WEB RING spigot: NEXT FIVE SITES?!?!?!!? YES PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: HI I LIKED YOUR SITE VERY MUCH!!!! I HAVE A CAT WHO I CUDDLE EVERY DAY!!!!!! WRITE BACK!!! spigot: HI I WROTE YOU A FEW DAYS AGO !!! WRITING IN CASE IT DISAPPEARED INTO THE NET spigot: HI IS THIS RING STILL ACTIVE?!?!?!? spigot: *SMASH* I HAVE THROWN A POTTED PLANT FROM YOUR FRONT YARD THROUGH YOUR WINDOW!!!! spigot: SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOUR DINNER BUT I WOULD LIKE TO CUDDLE YOUR CAT!!!!!! spigot: SURPRISE!!!! I AM CUDDLING YOUR TODDLER'S BALLS

spigot: HOW ABOUT A FAT WISE INDIAN WOMAN WITH A DOT, BOBBING HER HEAD AROUND STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA OF A SOFT FOCUS SPRINT COMMERCIAL CLAIMING HER STAKE IN THE INTERNET GENERATION ??? SURPRISE FOLKS !!! NOBODY YAHOOS

spigot: AS YOU CAN SEE BY HOW MY BALLS ARE PUSHING INTO YOUR FACE IT'S KIND OF A SURPRISE PARTY spigot: I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU AND ME AND MY NUTS AND DICK COULD HANG OUT FOR A WHILE spigot: YOU CAN'T LEAVE IT'S ONLY 9 PM spigot: FINE YOU'RE FAT ANYWAY spigot: GO HOME SEE IF I GIVE A SHIT

tdtbaa @tdtbaa my favourite jerkcity comic format is: opening panel shows two characters angrily grimacing at each other

spigot: ALL THE DICKS YOU'VE EVER LICKED SUSPENDED IN A SUNBEAM

pants: REALLY HOPING TO GO TO THE PISS FARM THIS WEEKEND deuce: FRUMP deuce: SWALLOWED UP BY THE BLACK HOLE

pants: REALLY HOPING TO GO TO THE PISS FARM THIS WEEKEND deuce: THIS IS HOW THE WORLD ENDS: NOT WITH A BANG BUT WITH A PISS FARM pants: WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME MAN deuce: FUCK YOU CREDIT CARD COMPANIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: GOOD THING I DIDN'T PAY THE ELECTRIC BILL deuce: FRUMP SWALLOWED UP BY BLACK HOLE

spigot: SMILE PATROL spigot: RIGHT IN THE SACK!!!!!!!!! spigot: HURGURUG pants: I HAD A SWAMP IN MY THROAT

pants: IS THIS ALL THERE IS deuce: YES; THE FINALE IS THAT WORMS EAT US

dick: I AM A PRACTITIONER OF THE ANCIENT ORIENTAL ART OF DONGAGAMI dick: I AM FOLDING DONGS IN TO SWANS AND SWANS IN TO DONGS dick: I GO BOTH WAYS dick: I AM SUSAN DEY FROM THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY YEARS dick: I INTEND TO KEEP TALKING UNTIL SOMEBODY INTERUPTS ME deuce: GALGHALGHLAGH dick: T DEUCE THANKS

deuce: FUCKING IDIOTS SWARM AROUND ME WITH THEIR COCKS PULLED OUT

pants: IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MORNING WHERE I START TO THINK ABOUT SWITCHING FROM A BATHROBE TO SWEATS

pants: SWEATPANTS pants: T-SHIRT pants: CARDIGAN SWEATER pants: I AM pants: PROUD TO pants: BE A BED WETTER

deuce: I'M SWEATY deuce: LET'S TOUCH NAKED BELLIES

spigot: I AM SWEDISH AND DROWNING AND ASKING FOR HJALP spigot: JA JA IN DER TJOILETS

pants: I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO DISCUSS MY WEB SOAP OPERA pants: WHO WON THE RAPE ME SWEEPSTAKES deuce: THINGS DIDN'T WORK OUT QUITE RIGHT spigot: I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR JAR I'M JAR

pants: THINK IF ME AS YOUR SPIRITUAL HLAHGULAHUGLHALGHAGLAG GUIDE deuce: SWEET JESUS SAVE ME FROM THIS COCKMONSTER

deuce: ONLY IN AMERICA CAN WE BE THIS GAY AND NOT BE KILLED (ALTHOUGH BEATEN SEVERELY)

spigot: HOW CAN THEY BE SWEET *AND* TART spigot: OH HOLY GOD spigot: BITE 'EM

deuce: I ENROLLED IN A NIGHT COURSE IN ALGEBRA BECAUSE MATH IS REALLY INTERESTING TO ME deuce: SOMETIMES I LIKE TO LIE ON MY BACK IN THE GRASS AND STARE UP AT THE CLOUDS!!!! SOMETIMES I SEE THINGS LIKE ANIMALS AND THEY'RE REALLY FUNNY!!! deuce: TOOK SOME VAGISIL AND THAT ISSUE WITH MY VAGINA CLEARED UP RIGHT AWAY!!!! MODERN MEDICINE IS AMAZING

pants: SO I'M MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS AND THIS SUNFLOWER DEMANDS I PISS HIM UP :SUNFLOWER: 💦 deuce: PRACTICALLY A PISS TARGET (FT. THE FIBONACCI SEQUENCE) pants: DO YOU THINK THEY LIKE PISS (LOOKING FOR ANY EXCUSE) deuce: IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER IF THEY LIKE PISS OR NOT IF THEY DRESS LIKE THAT

spigot: I'M GOING TO CLEAN YOU AND RAPE YOU deuce: ARE YOU AWARE MY HUGE COCK IS COMING TO INVOKE SWIFT AND PAINFUL JUSTICE

pants: FUCK MY BUSTER BROWNS deuce: PEE IN MY EAR HOLE pants: REALLY SHAKING OUT THE URINE deuce: GIVING ME SWIMMER'S EAR (WITH PISS) pants: BLBLBBLBLBL

spigot: I'M HAVING GOOD LUCK WITH SWISS BASICS MOISTURIZING FORMULA pants: MAYBE I'LL TRY IT spigot: A LITTLE SQUEEZE A LITTLE SQUIRT spigot: A DOLLOP A SQUISH A SPLOP ON THE OL' spigot: DID YOU WA- pants: I KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT

deuce: I WOULD LIKE TO NOTE FOR THE RECORD SENATOR THAT MY ASS IS SWOLLEN AND CHALKY

deuce: you are othering my balls deuce: which is actually probably a good idea since they have sworn an oath to fight you

pants: HOLY NUTS!!! atandt: AMEN TO THAT pants: SYNTAX ERROR IN RAPEKIT, BREAK AT LINE 10 atandt: I MEAN THOSE

pants: YOU ARE ON MARS deuce: BREAKER BREAKER ONE NINE pants: AND I'M ON THE MOON deuce: SYRIA PLANUM TO CLAVIUS BASE COME BACK pants: AND WE HAVE A DELAY deuce: SEVENTY THREES TO YOU

spigot: ITEMS REMAINING TO BE DELETED: 87,303 spigot: I'M A MACINTOSH spigot: HURBLE DURBLE deuce: REBOOTING YOU OFTEN

deuce: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE HELP MY BALLS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: THEY'RE DROWNING OR SOMETHING pants: LOWERING THEM A ROPE pants: OKAY THIS IS SOME KIND OF TRAP pants: AND THE BALLS DIDN'T NEED ANY HELP pants: OH DEAR pants: I HATE YOU deuce: T PANTS CAUGHT YOU FUCKER pants: SYSTEM HALTED

pants: T DEUCE I DON'T LIKE SYSTEMD BUT I'VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH IT deuce: SAME pants: MUCH LIKE YOU HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH ME deuce: I HAVE DONE NO SUCH THING pants: SHOW ME YOUR COCK

atandt: T DEUCE LIVE LONG AND PROSPER deuce: T ATANDT KILL YOURSELF SO THAT THE REST OF US MAY LEAD FRUITFUL LIVES

deuce: GHLAGHLGA dick: T DEUCE HEY THAT TICKLES

:just: AT THIS FAT LITTLE COWBOY 🤠 :he's: FAT HE CAN BARELY MEND FENCES ⛺🐄 pants: DUHHHHHH DROOLING

deuce: T SPIGOT DO YOU WANT TO JOIN US ON THE IRC TONIGHT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: T DEUCE I'D RATHER WATCH A SPEEDRACER MARATHON AT YOUR HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: T SPIGOT WELL TAKE YOUR PICK BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE ONE !!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: T DEUCE MANGA

deuce: T PANTS DID YOU ASSASSINATE A RUSSIAN AMBASSADOR deuce: AGAIN deuce: I THOUGHT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS pants: T DEUCE WASN'T ME

spigot: T DEUCE I LIKE SOMETIMES TO WAVE IT HIGH UP WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE spigot: T PANTS WHO YA TALKIN' TO spigot: AND PANTS IS NOT EVEN TALKING spigot: I N C E P T I O N spigot: FUCK THIS DUMP

deuce: T PANTS THESE AREN'T THE BALLS YOU'RE LOOKING FOR pants: T DEUCE THESE AREN'T THE BALLS I'M LOOKING FOR

spigot: T RANDS REMEMBER WHEN WE WORKED AT THE BOARDWALK AND SQUIRTED MUSTARD ON EACH OTHER spigot: T RANDS REMEMBER WHEN WE WENT TO THE MINIATURE GOLF ARCADE AND PLAYED TOOBIN' pants: T SPIGOT HE CAN'T HEAR YOU spigot: T RANDS I THINK YOU REMEMBER ALL THAT AND MORE *BEEP* pants: T SPIGOT HE'S IN A BETTER PLACE NOW

pants: DEAR CANADIAN GOTH GIRL pants: I THINK SPIGOT HAS BEEN USING MY TOWEL, WHAT SHOULD I DO pants: SIGNED PANTS FROM JERKCITY

deuce: T SPIGOT I HAD A DREAM AND JORDAN MCKNIGHT WAS IN IT spigot: DID HE AND THE TASMANIAN DEVIL SELL YOU A NIKE PHONE CARD !?!?!?!?!?! spigot: I CANNOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PORN STARS AND SPORTS PEOPLE spigot: DIALING 10 10 HEROIN OVERDOSE

spigot: SHORTLY THEREAFTER I FELT A POUNDING SENSATION IN MY REAR END pants: T SPIGOT FILE A BUG spigot: AND THE RING OF AN ICE COLD (ALCOHOLIC) BEVERAGE PLACED ON THE SMALL OF MY BACK pants: T SPIGOT NEVER MIND spigot: T PANTS YOU KNOW THAT BY REAR END I OF COURSE MEAN MY ASS LEGS AND NUTS pants: T SPIGOT SO PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE HINDQUARTERS spigot: I THINK I'VE SAID ENOUGH pants: PERHAPS pants: PERHAPS NOT

deuce: HELP spigot: T DEUCE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT I AM TRYING TO JERK HERE deuce: T SPIGOT OH deuce: T SPIGOT I HAVE TO HANG UP NOW (spigot): I CAN SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW deuce: GOODBYE spigot: YOU SAID YOU DON'T HAVE CABLE BUT YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY JERKING TO MSNBC

spigot: T EFFIGY I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU'RE NOT THE WORLD-FAMOUS CUP FLIPPER effigy: T SPIGOT SHOWS AT 3 AND 11 WEEKDAYS

deuce: T SPIGOT WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD ANYONE ACTUALLY BECOME A PBS MEMBER spigot: TOTE BAG

spigot: IF THERE WERE NO BLACK MEN THERE WOULD BE NO BLACK SPERM TO MAKE MORE BLACK BABY GIRLS TO GROW UP INTO BLACK PORN STARS AND THAT'S WHY RACISM IS BAD AND HITLER IS COOL deuce: I WAS WITH YOU UNTIL THE HITLER PART ??? spigot: C TO THE | TO THE N TO THE E TO THE T deuce: ARE YOU EITHER T L OR C spigot: LET'S TAKE GENERIC PLATITUDES AND MAKE THEM OUR CORPORATE TAGLINE !!! BIGOTS ARE BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOUNTAIN DEW deuce: I THINK THE ANSWER TO MY QUESTION IS YES

spigot: THIS PLACE IS A TOTAL PARTY ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: WITH A CAPITAL ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

pants: CONTENTS OF BUCKET: IN-N-OUT BURGERS, KRISPY KREME DONUTS, SHAMROCK SHAKES pants: CONTENTS OF STOMACH: SEMEN, GUM WRAPPERS, RUBBER BANDS, BITS OF STRING, DICE pants: CONTENTS OF LAST PANEL: TERRIBLE COCKSUCKING NOISES OF THE HAULGHULAHG AND BUABGLUHLAHG AND LAHULGLAGHLAG VARIETY

deuce: YEAH AND NEUTRINOS TRAVEL FASTER THAN LIGHT, SURE deuce: BULLSHIT HAX deuce: PLUS IF TRUE CLASSIFY TOP SECRET UNDER NSA