spigot: I FEEL BAD FOR HAVING TO REMIND YOU OF THIS, AND I KNOW I DON'T HAVE TO REMIND YOU, BUT . . . . . . . . IT IS TITTY TUESDAY pants: DOES THAT MEAN TACOS FOR LUNCH

atandt: <DOUBLESPACE>HI</DOUBLESPACE> deuce: <STRIKEOUT>SUCK A COCK</STRIKEOUT> spigot: ROKKEN WITH DOKKEN AND SUCKEN KOKKEN spigot: THAT'S NOT GOLF, THAT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE DORF

pants: TAG YOURSELF: pants: THE PSYCHOPATHIC PERSONALITY pants: THE ALCOHOLIC pants: THE DRUG ADDICT pants: THE SEX OFFENDER pants: THE MENTALLY RETARDED pants: MENTAL DISORDERS IN OLD AGE deuce: WHICH ONE DON'T I CHECK

spigot: IS THERE SOMETHING HAPPENING ON A TINY SPECK OF DIRT ISLAND HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD????? BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS COFFEE CAKE!!!!! deuce: LET'S GET BACK TO THE REGION BETWEEN MY BALLS AND ASSHOLE

atandt: AH PORNOPOLIS atandt: THE TAJ MAHAL OF PORNOGRAPHY atandt: WITNESS THE ONE HANDED MASTURBATOR IN HIS NATURAL HABITAT atandt: OUTSIDE THE CITY OF PORNOPOLIS atandt: WE HUNT THE RED BREASTED CHICKADEE (BACK TO YOU MARLIN) deuce: WHERE'S MY ENEMA

deuce: HOW ABOUT ONE OF YOU GUYS JUST TAKE A CRAP IN MY MOUTH spigot: SMOOSH IT ALL INTO MY MOUTH PLEASE spigot: NO AIR deuce: LET ME CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY OWN SHIT dick: OH JEEZ spigot: WOW, IT'S REALLY PUNCHABLE NUTSACK WEATHER IN HERE BRRRRRRR

pants: HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF HUFF pants: NUGGGGGGGGGGGH pants: TAKE IT

pants: [20~[20~[20~ pants: [20~[20~[20~ pants: [20~[20~ pants: [20~[20~ pants: [20~ pants: [20~ pants: [20~ pants: NUGGGGGH TAKE IT ALL

deuce: T SPIGOT HUH deuce: T SPIGOT HUHHHHHHHHH deuce: T SPIGOT HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH spigot: TAKE IT OFF

deuce: I'M A C-STYLE COMMENT pants: TAKE IT OFFBABY deuce: PLEASE DO NOT USE ME RECURSIVELY BECAUSE THEN I WILL CRY pants: ALL RIGHT THAT’S ABOUT ALL WE NEED HERE GO AHEAD AND PUT IT BACK ON BABY

deuce: IT'S A DEFENSE MECHANISM YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

pants: PUNCH THE COCK AS HARD AS YOU CAN

spigot: BATTER BATTER BATTER BATTER BATTER SWING BATTER / YOUR FACE / THE GROUND / A TOOTH

spigot: T DEUCE I WILL ANSWER THAT QUESTION IF YOU TAKE YOUR TOP OFF deuce: T SPIGOT DONE NOW SPILL IT spigot: I FORGET RIGHT NOW deuce: HERE I AM TRICKED AND EMBARRASSED AND GETTING COLD spigot: PIZZA!?!??!!? WHY DO YOU ORDER STUFF LIKE THAT IF YOU DON'T SMOKE DOPE deuce: T SPIGOT BECAUSE I AM FAT USELESS PIG

pants: BEAT / ME / OFFFFF deuce: NO / THANK / YOUUUUUUU

deuce: TAKE THE /QUIZ!!!! pants: GEE WHIZ MISTER DO YOU THINK WE'LL BE ABLE TO CROWDFUND OUR WAY OUT OF THIS CEMENT PIT

pants: TRACKING DOGSHIT ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE (ALL OVER HIS CREATION) deuce: AND HOLY LORD DID HE MAKE A LOT OF DOGSHIT pants: YOU'RE GOING TO GET SUCH A HUG (A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HUG) deuce: >>>SEXUAL<<< pants: OTHERWISE: ANAL BUS deuce: OR SHOULD WE TAKE THE ANAL TRAIN

spigot: WHEN I JIZZ ON YOUR FACE, YOU FEEL spigot: [A] SASSY spigot: [B] REFRESHED

spigot: (A) I LIKE TO SHOOT THINGS spigot: (B) I LIKE TO SMASH THINGS spigot: (C) I LIKE TO SUCK THINGS

pants: WELL pants: ALL RIGHT pants: BUT I'M NEW AT THIS AND I THINK I SHOULD PRACTICE deuce: TAKE YOUR TIME SON

deuce: FUCK pants: TAKES TWO TO TANGO deuce: THIS ROOM SMELLS LIKE MENSTRUATION pants: ME TO BEAT OFF AND YOU TO HATE IT

pants: LEARN ME deuce: (PICTURES OF NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON TAKING A DUMP ON SAGAN'S GRAVE) pants: HUGE, COILY

pants: TAKING A SHIT IN A PAPER BAG spigot: FOLKS WINE IN A BOX IS ACTUALLY WINE IN A PLASTIC BAG IN A BOX pants: LIFEHACKS

spigot: I SAID *AT THE DAIRY QUEEN* (LISTEN) deuce: OH SORRY

spigot: TAKING A TEST TO FIGURE OUT WHICH BONEQUEST CHARACTER I AM!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: DISAPPOINTED

pants: SAND, ROCKS, SOME PLANT THAT TASTES TERRIBLE, MORE SAND

deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MUST DO pants: TAKING ONE FOR THE TEAM

pants: TAKING THE BUS TO WHERE MY BONER LIVES deuce: "BEATIFICATION" DOESN'T SOUND LIKE WHAT IT MEANS deuce: THANK YOU FOR LISTENING

ozone: 114$ /USR/AMANDA/JT -M 8 SC0D6L0 atandt: BEATIN' OFF ozone: SC0D6L0: LOADED CARTRIDGE FROM SLOT 8 atandt: FUCK YEAH (ozone): REWINDING atandt: AWW FUCK YEAH

pants: SAVE MY SOUL deuce: I CANNOT RE: GALLONS OF ANGER pants: COOKIE MONSTER MUST DIE deuce: INSHALLAH pants: TALK ME OFF deuce: THIS IS ALL AN AMBIEN HALLUCINATION (MORPHS INTO YOG SOTHOTH)

pants: SO WHO WANTS PIE deuce: DO I HAVE TO pants: YES YOU DO

spigot: FOLKS ARE WE PUMPED FOR MADDEN 16 spigot: GONNA GO FUCK MYSELF, TALK SOON

spigot: MORE LIKE ***BORED*** OF THE RINGS spigot: MORE LIKE ***LONG*** OF THE RINGS spigot: LOAD OF THE CRAP spigot: FILK OF THE FACE spigot: SUCK OF THE DICK

deuce: FIVE TWINKS, PLEASE pants: CAN A TWINK BE DEMOTED IF THEY ARE TOO OLD OR THEY BREAK TWINK LAWS deuce: THERE IS A COMPLICATED SYSTEM OF DEMERITS AND TRACKING pants: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWINKS AGE OUT deuce: THEY TURN INTO A COCCOON AND TRANSFORM THEMSELVES BACK TO A TWINK pants: THAT IS GOD'S WORK ON DISPLAY RIGHT THERE deuce: I SLEPT LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT SO TIME TO BEAT OFF

pants: I FIND IT REFRESHING deuce: DON'T YOU MEAN EXHILARATING??!?!

deuce: NUGGGGGGH BEING FORCED INSIDE OUT spigot: SO YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR ONCE deuce: MY PROLAPSED FEELINGS

pants: T DEUCE I CAN'T WAIT TO GET HOME AND GET HIGH !!! deuce: T PANTS I CAN'T WAIT TO SUCK YOUR DICK !!!! deuce: WHOA WAS THAT PUBLIC pants: T DEUCE AND I CAN'T WAIT TO YES IT WAS pants: OH MY GOD deuce: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE WE'VE BEEN TALKING IN PUBLIC THIS WHOLE TIME

deuce: WHAT ARE YOU WEARING pants: SAFETY ORANGE PAINT

spigot: I AM TALKING ON THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!! pants: BEEP BOOP 100100010 1010101101 00101100101 MEANS I LICK DICK

pants: TEACH ME TO JACK OFF deuce: YOU WILL NEVER LEARN deuce: BUT WE'LL GIVE IT THE OLD COLLEGE TRY deuce: IN ORDER TO PROPERLY BEAT OFF, YOU MUST LEARN TO BEAT OFF OTHERS deuce: AND YOU NEED LOTS AND LOTS OF PRACTICE pants: TEACH ME TO PISS ALSO deuce: THAT CANNOT BE TAUGHT pants: PISSING ANYWAY deuce: I'M A LOGISTICAL TRAIN deuce: RIDE ME

atandt: DICKS WITHOUT PURPOSE spigot: PRICKS WITHOUT FOCUS

spigot: past a certain age a man without a dong in his mouth can be a bad thing

spigot: (FLATTENING DIRT PILE WITH SHOVEL) WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES AS PARENTS

deuce: I HAVE BEEN PUNCHED IN THE HEAD AND ASS FOR THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES STRAIGHT deuce: (BRUISING, SWELLING, ASKING FOR ICE) spigot: THAT IS TANTAMOUNT TO EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: I KNOW AND FOR THAT I AM ASHAMED pants: WE HAVE ALL FAILED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER pants: MAYBE WE SHOULD PULL OUR PANTS DOWN deuce: I DON'T SEE HOW THAT WILL SOLVE ANY OF OUR deuce: OH

spigot: WOULD QUEER-CODED ELIO LIKE TO TELL US HOW HIS EYE GOT POKED OUT

atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP pants: YOU CANNOT COME IN atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP pants: THIS IS A PRIVATE STALL pants: THIS STALL WAS NOT MADE FOR THIS KIND OF STRESS atandt: TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP pants: SHE'S BREAKING UP SHE'S BREAKING UP

atandt: SHUFFLE TAP TAP TAP TAPPITY TAP TAP atandt: THIS ISN'T AS SIMPLE AS IT LOOKS PEOPLE

pants: O MEDDLE I AM KNEE DEEP IN THE TAR PITS AGAIN deuce: I KNOW BABY GIRL deuce: IT IS YOUR LIFE'S WORK pants: HINT: KNEE DEEP MEANS I CAN STILL SUCK COCK deuce: DING pants: BUT NOT FOR LONG WAS RE: TAR PITS

pants: JEAN-CHARLES, THE TARANTULA IS LOOSE AND YOU MUST CATCH HIM WITH THE NET dick: UH pants: I MUST BAKE THIS DELICIOUS PASTRY TO REPLACE THE ONE JEAN-CHARLES ATE THAT WAS FOR THE WARDEN hanford: ARE YOU DRUNK pants: JEAN-CHARLES THIS WEASEL AND THIS FERRET DO NOT BELONG IN THE KITCHEN, QUICKLY HIDE THEM IN THESE POTS AND PANS BEFORE THE INSPECTOR FINDS THEM hanford: YOU FAT FUCKING FAGGOT GET OFF MY STAGE

spigot: I’VE BEAT OFF TO EVERYTHING, ALL PORN LOOKS LIKE ADS FOR TARGET OR OLD NAVY, I DON’T EVEN SEE IT spigot: SORRY WRONG WINDOW

spigot: IS MY TAROT DECK OUT OF DATE CAUSE I CAN'T LOCATE THE QUEEN OF GAPES deuce: CHECK THE BACK SIDE

deuce: OKAY HOW COME THE GUACAMOLE DIP I GOT TASTES NOTHING LIKE ANYTHING REMOTELY GUACAMOLISH pants: UH

: pants, left, and deuce, right, taken in happier times deuce: WHO WANTS TO EAT TASTY PRICK pants: MMM deuce: IN THAT IT IS TASTY (TASTY) pants: DELICIOUS COCK deuce: I SAID PRICK SIR DON'T BE GAUCHE deuce: TASTY

atandt: I PROPOSE A NEW TRANSPORT LAYER ON THE INTERNET atandt: IT WILL BE DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR PORN / GAYNESS / ETC atandt: IF ONLY I COULD THINK OF A CLEVER NAME deuce: IT ALREADY EXISTS !!!!!!! IT'S CALLED TCP/IP

pants: WHAT SHALL I DO WITH JESUS WHICH IS CALLED CHRIST deuce: INVITE HIM FOR A CUP OF TEA AND SOME SCONES

ozone: INIT: SINGLE USER MODE ozone: HAVING SOME KIND OF PROBLEM deuce: COCKS ozone: THE SYSTEM IS BEING SHUT DOWN NOW !!! deuce: LHGLHAGHLAGLHAG

spigot: Q: WHAT DID THE TEACUP SAY TO THE TEAPOT spigot: A: I'M GOING TO SPURT OFF ALL OVER YOUR DUMB FACE spigot: THEN THE TEAPOT'S ALL "HOW RUDE" AND THEN THE TEACUP COULD PUNCH HIM spigot: I'M STILL WORKING ON IT

: twitter.com/PantsAtJerkcity pants: TEAM JERKCITY WOOOOOO pants: KAFF KAFF KAFF pants: YOU OWE ME ONE (1) SLOBBERY SLOPPY NOISY BLOWJOB pants: FORM LINE TO LEFT

deuce: I'M WHACKING OFF pants: I'M VACUUMING UP deuce: WE'RE A TEAM pants: A PRETTY GODDAMN GAY TEAM IF YOU HORMPTH HUMPTH deuce: THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT WE'RE A TEAM AND WE WORK TOGETHER HOMPH HURMPH pants: DUH HUALGHLUHULAG THE CRACK PIPE BROKE HALGHLBALHLBAG

atandt: I AM A "TEAM PLAYER" deuce: I AM "GETTING A BLOWJOB"

spigot: MULTIPLE COUNTS OF CHILD MOLESTATION spigot: TEAMWORK

pants: I'M PANTS deuce: I'M DEUCE deuce: ! pants: ? : PUNCHLINE OMITTED : per niaj flugantaj a&#365;tobusoj, vi atingos iun ajn parton de la mondo

pants: WE WILL RETURN TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING SHORTLY pants: ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO STATE THAT I DID NOT PUNCH THE PROSTITUTE I WAS ONLY HELPING HER DOWN OFF THE STAGE : To: Staff : From: Editor : Subject: What's going on down there : : Are we off the air again? : GODDAMNIT : YOU USELESS FUCKWADS

deuce: PARTY spigot: [REDACTED] (spigot): [REDACTED] spigot: [REDACTED] deuce: WE ARE HAVING SPIGOT TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES PLEASE STAND BY

spigot: T PANTS HEY BECAUSE YOU spigot: KNOW THAT REMINDS spigot: ME OF A FUNNY spigot: ME OF A FUNNY spigot: ME OF A FUNNY spigot: WAI spigot: HELLO spigot: IS THIS PORT IN USE (TTY)

pants: HELP I THINK MY CAMERA IS BROKEN EVERY PICTURE I TAKE MAKES ME LOOK DOPEY AND MIDDLE-AGED deuce: DID YOU TRY THE ANTI-FUCKFACE LENS pants: YES THAT'S THE FIRST THING I TRIED deuce: DID IT REPORT A SPECIFIC ERROR pants: IT APPEARS TO BE OPERATING NORMALLY, WHEN I TAKE A SELFIE THE IMAGE SHOWS AN IDIOT FATSO INSTEAD OF ME pants: NOT SURE IF THIS HELPS BUT THE MIRRORS IN MY HOUSE HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM

pants: TECHNOLOGICALLY SPEAKING, I LOVE DICK atandt: I LIKE OZZY

spigot: GUESS MY LECTURE ON DICKLICKING IS ONLY GOOD ENOUGH FOR TEDX

atandt: CORNDOGS ARE GENDER NEUTRAL spigot: TELL IT TO THE JUDGE atandt: WE ARE WINNING THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS spigot: YOU AND WHAT ARMY atandt: PAPER OR PLASTIC SIR spigot: RE: THE FATNESS OF YOU AND HOW IT BUGS ME

pants: SHOULD I TAKE MY SHIRT OFF NOW pants: I’M READY FOR MY CLOSEUP!!!!!!!!!!! pants: TELL ME I’M PRETTY

spigot: TELL ME YOU LICK DICK WITHOUT LICKING DICK spigot: OKAY ONE DICK spigot: OKAY ALL THE DICKS pants: HGHGHLG BHLGHG pants: HURG:SWEAT_DROPS:LBLHBLGRBLGB RHLB:SWEAT_DROPS:HRGLUBUGL:SWEAT_DROPS:KTH PLTHRHBL:SWEAT_DROPS:URHGBL LURHG:SWEAT_DROPS:BLHGL:SWEAT_DROPS:BHLG[[SPACE]]

pants: tell me about your dreams deuce: all tentacles and unicorns and upskirts

deuce: I WOULD DESCRIBE MY WANG AS BEATIFIC pants: BUT IS IT YOUR BEST FRIEND

pants: piss deuce: tell me more pants: just piss that's all deuce: very well

dick: SOMEBODY TELL ME SOMETHING GAY, QUICK deuce: I LOVE YOU DADDY dick: GAYER, PLZ deuce: DADDY LOVES ME dick: THAT'S BETTER

pants: YOU START ozone: NO YOU START deuce: GRRR ozone: 5 pants: 4 deuce: 8 ozone: 3 pants: Q deuce: OKAY I MESSED UP

pants: LEMME SHOW YOU SOME-THING pants: PLEASE EXCUSE ME BUT I GOT TO ASK: pants: WILL WIKIMEDIA TAKE PHOTOCOPIES OF MY RECEIPTS FOR HOOKERS OR DO THEY NEED THE ORIGINALS (MOSTLY BUSINESS CARDS)

deuce: I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU BUT YOU CHANGED YOUR NUMBER deuce: THEN I CAME BY YOUR HOTEL TO FIND THAT YOU'D MOVED deuce: THEN I CALLED YOUR PARENTS BUT IT TURNS OUT THEY HAVE FILED A TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER

atandt: I WILL CLOSE MY EYES atandt: I WILL VISUALIZE A BETTER LIFE FOR ME AND MY WIFE AND MY LITTLE BOY atandt: GOD DAMNIT WHY AM I MARRIED WHY TEN FUCKING CHILDREN

spigot: i'm thinking ten dicks across roughly 8 hours is not a ratio to write home about pants: the cyber

spigot: ON WINDOWS TO MAKE CERTAIN SYMBOLS YOU HOLD DOWN ALT AND SUCK TEN DICKS FOR AN HOUR, THEN LET GO OF ALT

spigot: ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION GUIDELINES pants: STOP USING TEN DOLLAR WORDS AND BE GAY WITH ME spigot: NEED $3 IN QUARTERS

spigot: do you know what i would do with ten jumbo corn dogs right now spigot: dip them in various mustards !!!!!!! spigot: then nnnggg email wired some pix

spigot: I GOT STONED AND ATE A POUND CAKE LAST NIGHT spigot: THIS IS LIKE SENDING COMEDY INTO FUCKING OUTER SPACE spigot: WELL WHEN YOU IDIOTS GET THIS IN TEN LIGHT YEARS BE SURE TO COME BACK AND SUCK MY EARTH DICK

spigot: !Pankaja spigot: !Pankajan spigot: !Pankajeet spigot: !Pankhuri spigot: !Panna spigot: !Pannalal spigot: !Panner spigot: !Panshul spigot: !Parag spigot: !Param spigot: just ten more pages and my filter will be finished

spigot: PLEASE BEAT ME OFF TEN TIMES A DAY spigot: HOOOOOOOOOOO HURRRRR spigot: THAT'S ABOUT IT

spigot: TEN WAYS WOMEN CAN MAKE STRIDES IN THE WORKPLACE !!!!!!!1111 deuce: 1. GO HOME deuce: 2. BLOW ME deuce: 3. THEN BLOW THAT ONE THERE spigot: NOTE: I WAS NOT ACTUALLY SUGGESTING WE MAKE A LIST spigot: HURMPTH BLUH STRAWBERRY PRESERVES

spigot: TEN YEARS AGO I WAS IN WIREDD spigot: F-FIFTY YEARS AGO BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP NURSE

pants: WELL I HOPE YOU BROUGHT ENOUGH ROOFIES FOR EVERYBODY deuce: EVERYBODY BUT YOU deuce: YOU GET TO BE AWAKE DURING THE PROCEDURE pants: I AM THE DEFACTO FONDLER spigot: IS THAT ANTIBACTERIAL HANDSOAP

deuce: WHO WANTS TO PRACTICE "ORAL SEX" WITH ME pants: CAN I USE "MY MOUTH"

spigot: T DEUCE MY TENTPOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: T SPIGOT I DON'T GET IT

deuce: UH OH, AN INTERNET BUDDY OF MINE HAS TERMINAL CANCER pants: WELL BE SURE TOLET HIM KNOW THAT2022 IS THE YEAROF DESKTOP LINUX FOR SURE THIS TIME

pants: HELP pants: HELP HELP pants: FOR GOD'S SAKE SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME atandt: WHAT NOW pants: I HAVE DONE A TERRIBLE THING atandt: RESTRAINING ORDER? pants: NO atandt: LICKED TOO MANY DICKS AT ONCE? pants: I DON'T UNDERSTAND atandt: ARE YOU HURT OR SICK pants: I REQUIRE SOME ASSISTANCE atandt: SPLAIN pants: REMEMBER THE GOTH GIRL I MARRIED ??? atandt: KIND OF pants: WELL WE NEED TO DIG A GOTH GIRL SIZED HOLE atandt: IS SHE DEAD pants: KIND OF atandt: ELABORATE pants: SHE'S CANADIAN atandt: I'LL GET THE SHOVEL

pants: why not just pop it in your mouth for a test drive, to see how you like it

unknown: piss is the best deuce: it's filled with vitamins unknown: vitamin P deuce: vitamin D for delicious unknown: D is also for deli-- oh you just said that okay

deuce: YOU ARE ALL TEXTBOOK UNEMPLOYABLE

spigot: BEATING OFF INTO A SCENTED CANDLE spigot: SORRY BUT I BE SPITTIN STRAIGHT FACT