pants: IN THE BEGINNING pants: THE LORD MADE THE EARTH pants: THE HEAVENS THE HILLS AND THE SEAS pants: THEN HE CREATED THE SUN AND THE STARS pants: AND HIS ROTTEN SON SIR FAGSALOT CAME DOWN HERE TO SUCK COCK deuce: THE END pants: SO WE STUCK HIM UP ON A POST OR SOMETHING pants: ACTUALLY HE ALREADY CAME BACK ONCE pants: BUT WE BURNED HIM UP AT WACO (THAT'LL TEACH HIM)

spigot: SIR I AM NOT AN ASHTRAY spigot: OOF URF OKAY MAYBE I AM deuce: ATTITUDE

pants: COCKS ??? atandt: DICKS !!! pants: WHAT ??? NO !!! COCKS atandt: SIR I MUST INSIST: DICKS pants: NO NO I PROTEST: COCKS atandt: DICKS OVER COCKS pants: COCKS INSTEAD OF DICKS??? OUTRAGOUS atandt: MY GOOD MAN pants: COME WITH ME atandt: MY GOD MAN

deuce: WINDOWS NT PEOPLE spigot: THAT STANDS FOR NICE TITS deuce: WRONG-O spigot: YOU SPELLED "YES SIR" INCORRECTLY deuce: YES SIR

spigot: YOU ALL GO ON AHEAD, THE PRIVATE AND I ARE GOING TO JERK OFF spigot: AREN'T WE PRIVATE pants: SIR YES SIR

pants: SIR YOUR TONGUE IS MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO CLOSE deuce: AHHHHHHH pants: SIR YOUR TONGUE IS MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO CLOSE deuce: AHHHHHHH pants: SIR YOUR TONGUE IS MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO CLOSE deuce: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

pants: CAN WE PLEASE WANG deuce: NO pants: I BEG OF YOU deuce: NEGATIVE pants: THEN LET ME SPURT UP THE NEIGHBORS deuce: WELL OKAY

spigot: SISSIFYMYTINYCAGEDPRICK.COM WOULD LIKE TO SEND YOU NOTIFICATIONS. spigot: IF I'M SUPPOSED TO STAY AWAKE ANY LATER THAN THIS THESE DAYS I NEED A NEW DEALER pants: YOU MEAN LIKE AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH DEALER OR A ROUND TABLE PIZZA DEALER spigot: I GUESS I MEAN MY LOCAL COMIC BOOK DEALER pants: HE’S SAYING WHAT WE’RE ALL THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: T PANTS THE _ENTERPRISE_ JUST WATCHED HER SISTER SHIP _YAMATO_ EXPLODE pants: T DEUCE ACTIVATE PHOTON TORPEDOES spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO CRANK CALL THE NEUTRAL ZONE

spigot: RELATIVELY CERTAIN I HAVE NOTHING TO CONTRIBUTE deuce: WELL THEN SIT BACK !!!!!!!!!! AND GLABGLBAHLHBLGAH GBLBAGHLHBGALH GHGABLHAGLBH HELP HALBGBLH GABLGAHBLG HBLHG

pants: FUCK YES pants: LOST IN THE WOODS AGAIN pants: I'LL JUST SIT UP AND PUCKER

pants: S-S-S-SPIGOT'S GARAGE CODE ???? OH BOY pants: STRAIGHT TO HOME DEPOT TO BUY A GREEN GARDEN HOSE AND A TARP pants: HLAHGLU HALUAG SPIT DUH SPIT SPIT WHAT THE HELL HAULGHL AUGHLUAHLHLA HLAG SOME KIND OF UNLICKABLE DICK HLAGHLAHLHLUAG SO MUCH FOR THAT GAHULGUAHLAG

spigot: :MEGA: spigot: WHEN I SAY HURRICANE / YOU SAY GERT spigot: WHO KILLED LAURA SCUDDER'S spigot: EXPLAIN EXACTLY WHY SITTING IN DOG SHIT DOESN'T MAKE ME AN INFLUENCER

pants: BELL pants: BIV pants: DEVOE

deuce: T PANTS I'M KILLING YOU, MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT YOU, THEN KILLING MYSELF pants: T DEUCE MAKE EPISODES 4, 5 AND 6 FIRST AND THEN GO BACK TO DO 1, 2, 3

spigot: MY PRICK SAW ITS SHADOW TODAY!!!! SIX MORE WEEKS OF COCKSUCKING deuce: (LONG, DEEP, ANNOYED EXHALE) HEAVEN ISN'T REAL pants: YES IT IS pants: IT'S THE FEW SECONDS BETWEEN NO OXYGEN TO THE BRAIN AND NOTHINGNESS deuce: WHEN THE BUGS CRAWL IN AND TAKE OVER

deuce: I HAVE NOT GOTTEN AN ERECTION IN SIX YEARS dick: LUCKY YOU

spigot: :notes: ya lick sixteen dicks / and whaddya get spigot: honorable mention????? spigot: a certificate of participation ???? spigot: a teachable moment ???????? deuce: a trip to Hell (Romans 1)

spigot: WHAT ARE ALL THESE MOTORIZED SKATEBOARDS DOING AT A JEWISH KINDERGARTEN ?? spigot: HAVEN'T THERE BEEN ENOUGH SHUL SCOOTINGS

deuce: LOVE ME TENDER pants: HOLD STILL THEN spigot: MAY I PLAY pants: SKIP AND DANCE WITH US spigot: PRANCING AS FAST AS I CAN

pants: IF I WAS AN INTRO WOULD YOU SKIP ME spigot: PREVIOUSLY ON THE PENISES

spigot: LOOK OVER THERE!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: SLAM spigot: FORGOT MY PURSE!!!!!!! spigot: SLAM

spigot: I'M LEAVING spigot: FORGOT MY PURSE

spigot: SLAM THE CAR DOOR ON MY BONER SO I WON'T BE GAY deuce: JERKING

bung: T DEUCE SLAP MY COCK PLEASE deuce: IF I'M A COCK THEN EAT ME FI deuce: CASE UP THE NUTS ) CHEW IT ;; ESAC bung: YOU ARE A TRUE FUCKING FAGGOT

deuce: GRAB YOUR ANKLES PEOPLE IT'S THE DEUCE spigot: T DEUCE CAN I HAVE AN ALLOWANCE deuce: BYE FAGGOT

hanford: HERE WE GO PEOPLE hanford: QUIET ON THE SET deuce: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM pants: I'M HOPING FOR THE SLASHDOT EFFECT ON MY MOUTH, FACE pants: PLEASE RESTRAIN ME HAUGLHALGHALHGLUAHLA ALL AT ONCE deuce: POUNDING/POKING hanford: CUT

deuce: I LIKE 2 SLEEP pants: WHAT ELSE DO U LIKE 2 DO deuce: NOTHING

pants: bugs down inside my wiener deuce: wiener bugs - I know those pants: should we die fighting them or just give up deuce: quietly exit pants: slide down the firepole

pants: DO YOU HAVE A SLIDE RULE deuce: YES !!!! A ROUND ONE BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE COOLEST deuce: LOGARITHMS ARE HARD pants: I DON'T HAVE ONE MYSELF BUT I HEAR THEY REALLY DRESS UP THE PANTS/BELT AREA

deuce: I AM THE BIGGEST SLIDERS FAN EVER atandt: JESUS GOD I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE INTELLIGENT AGENT TECHNOLOGY IN OFFICE 2000 pants: DANCING PAPER CLIPS CHASING ME, FORCED TO RECANT MY EARLIER TESTIMONY atandt: CLICK BEEP BOOP 1 MEG OF 2.6 GIGS INSTALL BEEP BEEP CLICK DELETE deuce: NO I MEANT TO TYPE COCKS

spigot: PROUD TO SAY I JUST CALLED SOMEONE A DUMB DONG (EDITED) deuce: YOU'RE A SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE DONG deuce: I WOULDN'T CALL YOU "DUMB" deuce: OKAY RENTING AND WATCHING "DETERRENCE" WITH KEVIN POLLAK FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL

spigot: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DARES SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM?

deuce: I'M DICKWORTHY dick: GUESS AGAIN, PRINCESS

deuce: I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD deuce: MAYBE I SHOULD STOP DRINKING SCHNAPPS AT LUNCH

spigot: THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN A.I. SLOP IS ANYTHING MADE BY A HUMAN BEING

pants: WHOSE PISS BUCKET IS THIS (SLOSHING, SPLASHING) deuce: T PANTS THAT'S ANOTHER PHOTO OF A FLOWER pants: DROPS BUCKET

deuce: my dong rates 21 gigaflops deuce: insert slot P into tab V deuce: if you continuously integrate my balls, I will continuously deploy on your face

deuce: WHAT ARE YOU WEARING pants: A DRESS deuce: FUCK YES

spigot: SPLURK SPLORK PLOP ALL OVER YOUR FACE AND DRESS YOU STUPID BITCH spigot: HURF HRBRGRBLHRGLPFTH deuce: SLOW DOWN YOU'LL WASTE IT ALL

deuce: I could sure go for some jerk off instruction right now (because I never learned how) pants: Does it come in a bottle or is it a fountain drink deuce: sorry I only respond to the pronouns _fuck_ and _you_ spigot: as long as that instruction shows me what I'm supposed to do with my hands spigot: um SLOW DOWN lady

spigot: i think wifi is slow today cause of all the toilet paper and wet wipes

uncredited caveman: AHGLBLAGUHLHBA LUHALBGALUGHLBHAG ALGH BLAG HALG BNAG LIHAGL BLGIUHLABGG uncredited caveman: BLOGOSPHERE uncredited caveman: LAGIHALGNBALIGYHALHALI ALGIH KAGY HLAHL HAG HLAUGHU LAHLG HLAGH LUG AG HULAHGUL HULAGHULAHGLAG

deuce: CUT TO US SITTING ALONE, NOT SAYING ANYTHING, SLOWLY DYING INSIDE deuce: YOU CAN'T SEE THE DYING INSIDE BUT IT'S IMPLIED BY THE CINEMATOGRAPHY

spigot: FOR WANT OF A BEATOFF THE DOPE WAS LOST pants: SLOWLY FILLING UP HER MOUTH WITH PISS

pants: HELLO pants: I AM BEING SLOWLY ROTATED spigot: IF ANYONE CAN HEAR ME pants: MAXIMUM OCCUPANCY REACHED spigot: MY FEET AREN'T EVEN TOUCHING THE GROUND I DON'T THINK

spigot: YOU'RE CORDIALLY INVITED... spigot: (OPEN CARD) spigot: TO SUCK COCK pants: WHAT WILL I WEAR

pants: WITH VANGELIS DEAD WHO WILL MAKE THE SOUNDTRACK FOR EITHER OF THE COMPETING BONEQUEST DOCUMENTARIES???????????? deuce: THERE ARE THREE pants: I ONLY KNOW OF _A LIFETIME OF HLUGAHLUGAULAG_ AND _WHATEVER HAPPENED TO RANDS?_ deuce: THERE'S ALSO _SLURPING AND DROOLING AND HURRRR: THE TRUE STORY OF BONEQUEST_ pants: ONE OF THOSE IS A CHEAP KNOCKOFF BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH ONE

spigot: TRYING TO ADMIRE MY OWN HARDON spigot: I THOUGHT A DINGUS WAS A SMALL PADDLE BOAT

.(deuce): I'M THINKING DICKS spigot: I'M THINKING FALAFEL WITH FAGS AND A LARGE SPRITE spigot: SMALL SPRITE

spigot: TELL DIR "OPEN" spigot: FOR FILE = 1 TO NUMFILES OF LIST OF CONTAINER OF FOLDER "DUH" spigot: I NEED A SNICKERS deuce: HUG YO BALLS

deuce: OTISBERG

spigot: {{{{ SMART }}}}} THERMOSTATS spigot: I'M BORED / TURN THE TV ON / WIPE MY KNOBS spigot: {{{{{ SMART }}}}} TV spigot: HERE'S YOU BEATING OFF ON THURSDAY (ALL SCREENS THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE)

pants: MY SOFT WHITE UNDERBELLY IS SMEARED WITH FILTH

deuce: I WANT OUT pants: I CANNOT LET YOU OUT deuce: YOU DO NOT OWN ME pants: ACTUALLY I DO (READ THE FINE PRINT OF THE LETTER YOU JUST SIGNED) deuce: I CANNOT (IT IS SMEARED WITH YOUR SHIT)

pants: sound off effigy: mmm deuce: mmm yeah pants: ooh boy pants: christ mmmmm deuce: smearing

: pants (left); spigot the motherfuckin' bear (right) pants: I WILL BE THE SERIAL RAPIST AND YOU WILL BE THE JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRL AND THE REST OF YOU SMILE AND TAKE PICTURES spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE FARTS BUT NOT FOR THE INSPIRIATIONAL MESSAGE I INTENDED FOR THEM TO DELIVER

deuce: :-O pants: I WANT TO RIP YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND PISS ON YOUR TITS deuce: :-|

pants: PRINTING AN 24X18 PICTURE OF MYSELF, FRAMING IT, SIGNING IT WITH A SILVER PEN, WRAPPING IT, MERRY CHRISTMAS pants: SMILING, THUMBS UP spigot: PLAY WITH IT AND BEND IT

spigot: THE THOMPSON TWINS SALAD SET??? THE THOMPSON TONGS IN THE SHAPE OF THE GUY AND WHAT'S HER NAME???? AND THE BLACK GUY'S THE PEPPER GRINDER??????? SMOKE DOPE WITH ME PEOPLE I'M MAKING MONEY FA$T!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deuce: THIS IS DEUCE AIRLINES 142, DECLARING PAN PAN PAN, WE HAVE SMOKE IN THE COCKPIT AND DIARRHEA IN MY SHORTS deuce: SAN FRANCISCO TOWER, THIS IS DEUCE AIRLINES 142, NOW DECLARING AN EMERGENCY, MY SHORTS HAVE BREACHED I REPEAT MY SHORTS HAVE BREACHED deuce: WE HAVE DIARRHEA IN THE COCKPIT

spigot: LOOK AT YOU !!!! YOUR FACE IS A TOTAL DISGRACE... spigot: ...TO MY BALLS !!!! WELL UP PERISCOPE I GUESS spigot: TIME TO FLIP OVER TO THE TV !!!! LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON !!!! spigot: MUST SEE TV spigot: GAYS ON SKATES spigot: FAT GUY TALKING spigot: BABYLON 5 spigot: TWO FAT GUYS TALKING spigot: GAYS ON ICE deuce: YOU'VE BEEN SMOKING DOPE AGAIN spigot: GOLDEN GIRLS

spigot: t deuce may i speak with you spigot: i'm going to put my face right here just slightly above this paper plate full of dogshit spigot: and i ask that you please do n deuce: SMOOSH spigot: nvm deuce: here to help spigot: some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do withou deuce: SMOOSH spigot: k

pants: IS THIS GRAND THEFT AUTO OR ANIMAL CROSSING ???? EITHER WAY I CONFUSE IT WITH MANHUNT AND TRY TO SLOWLY STRANGLE YOU WITH A BAG pants: MY MINIGAME OF "SMOOSH THE PEOPLE I THINK ARE PROSTITUTES THEN DRIVE AWAY" SOON BECOMES "RUN FROM THE POLICE" AND MAN ALIVE I CAN DO THAT FOR HOURS pants: TOO MUCH COFFEE (A LITTLE DIZZY, A LITTLE TIRED)

atandt: T DEUCE YOU WILL BE MY SMOOTH BUDDY deuce: T ATANDT I'M IGNORING THAT deuce: I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT A SMOOTH BUDDY IS deuce: BUT IT'S PRETTY CLEAR IT CAN'T BE GOOD atandt: WEAR THIS

pants: LIKE CRAZY pants: WITH THE POKING AND THE CHOKING AND THE HEY WAIT A MINUTE pants: WHAT'S WITH THE SMOOTH FONTS pants: WHAT THE FUCK SON pants: HULALAHLUGHLAG SUCKING THEM ALL ANYWAY HUALGHLUAHLAG

hanford: YOU'RE ON pants: RICH CHOCOLATE pants: CREAMY CARAMEL pants: SMOOTH NOUGAT pants: CAT HAIR pants: DOES BEETLE BAILEY HAVE DAYS LIKE THESE pants: STRANGE DAYS INDEED pants: MY FACE IS STUCK LIKE THIS pants: PISSING ON A MOP, WALKING AWAY pants: BIG FAGGOTY DICK III DELAYED DUE TO RAIN pants: RED BULL, BONGWATER pants: AND CUT I'LL BE OUTSIDE SMOKING hanford: YOU DON'T SAY CUT I SAY CUT

deuce: GALGHAGHAGLBHGLUBHGLBUAHBUAHBHLGDBHDLHLUDBHBLGUBLBUGHB GHLGHBG deuce: NOTICE HOW IT TRANSFORMED SUBTLY spigot: I WILL LICK IT spigot: BUT I WILL NOT LIKE IT deuce: LIAR spigot: BLUGHGHGHLUGH I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON

pants: SYMANTEC SHOULD HAVE NEVER HALTED ITS DISCOUNT PROGRAM WITH THE NATIONAL RIFLE ASSOCIATION pants: THAT REALLY ACTIVATED MY ALMONDS pants: PLEASE STAND BY WHILE I RECEIVE AN URGENT NOTIFICATION FROM THE SHORT MESSAGING SERVICE BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP BOOP :text: IF YOU'RE STUCK IN A TOILET pants: ASLK;DJF

deuce: <SNAP BACK> OH THIS IS FACEBOOK NOT VIDEOBOX

spigot: SOMEONE TAKE THE SONG-WRITING QUILL OUT OF MADONNA'S HAND AND GIVE HER AN INSIDE-OUT BRASSIERE AND SHOVE HER BACK IN THE DICKLICKING ROOM ALREADY!!!!!!!!! I MEAN WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE

pants: GLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLK pants: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THIS PANEL

spigot: IT'S A BIRD spigot: IT'S A WHEELCHAIR spigot: WHO PUSHED MR. REEVE OFF THE SPACE NEEDLE

dick: HA HA REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU GUYS TOOK ME OUT IN THE WOODS ON A SNIPE HUNT ??? AND WE RAN AROUND LOOKING FOR SNIPES AND THEN YOU SAID YOU CAUGHT ONE AND I SAID LET ME SEE IT AND YOU ALL SURPRISED ME WITH RAPE pants: OH GOD I LEFT THE SNIPE IN THE BASEMENT !!! I FORGOT TO FEED IT TODAY !!! DICK, COME DOWN HERE WITH ME AND OH CRAP THE LIGHTS DON'T WORK OH WELL FOLLOW ME CLOSELY pants: DOWN WE GO

spigot: PLAY THE SNL CLOSING THEME AS EVERYONE BEATS OFF AT EACH OTHER

atandt: I'M A SNOWBALL pants: T DEUCE I SAW HIM FIRST deuce: T PANTS I GOT DIBS

spigot: snoot boops but with a dong

spigot: OF DONGS AND BONGS HOW CAN ONE MAN LICK DICK?!?! spigot: HELLO????? spigot: I AM THE SNOW NINJA deuce: GHGHGH pants: YOUR HONOR THE CONTRACT BETWEEN THIS 'UN AND ME THAT IS I THAT IS ME deuce: OBJECTION spigot: FOX PRESENTS WHEN COMMERCIALS ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: WAIT A MINUTE spigot: THESE ARE JUST spigot: STOPPING VCR deuce: WHAT IS WRONG WITH SIMPLY CUDDLING INSTEAD OF HORRIBLE ANAL RAPE deuce: MY CONTRACTIONS ARE NOW ONE MINUTE APART pants: OUT OF SPACE

pants: LET'S MAKE A SNUFF FILM deuce: COOL

deuce: I FEEL SO ALONE deuce: TALK TO ME spigot: FUCKING SHUT UP spigot: I'LL BET SIOUXSIE SIOUX HAS NEVER EVEN USED CODEWARRIOR

atandt: WHO IS UP FOR SOME ASSHOPPING deuce: BUH atandt: I'M ATANDT deuce: SO AM I

deuce: MY TITS ARE ALL-AMERICAN pants: WEIRD: SO ARE MY BALLS deuce: LIES pants: NO CHECK IT OUT: GO ON deuce: ALL LIES pants: GET ON IN THERE pants: G'ON deuce: I KNOW I'M RIGHT I DON'T NEED TO PROVE IT pants: G'ON

pants: SO ANYWAY THERE I WAS IN THE CONGO, LICKING SILVERBACK GORILLA DICK atandt: ISN'T THIS JUST A REGULAR ASS PARADE pants: THIS FEELS LIKE AN EXTRA FANCY PARADE atandt: I WAS SO BORED I WENT INTO THE LIVING ROOM FOR DJFISTY COMEDY atandt: IT WAS LIKE WATCHING CATS PLAY POOL

pants: SO CAN I HAVE IT LIKE THAT deuce: YES YOU CAN

pants: IT'S COLD THIS MORNING pants: BUT NOT TOO COLD FOR BEATING OFF (DISCO BALL LOWERS FROM CEILING, MUSIC PLAYS)

deuce: HOLD ME deuce: I AM SO COLD deuce: INSIDE deuce: MY SOUL IS COLD deuce: SO COLD

pants: THIS IS SO COOL pants: OH GOD IMPALED ON A FENCE

deuce: JERK COMPLETE spigot: NO WONDER I WAS SO DEPRESSED FOR FIVE MINUTES

deuce: MY VAGINA IS DRY deuce: WAIT I DON'T HAVE A VAGINA

deuce: NO POOPS SO FAR

deuce: TOUCH MY DICK deuce: I SAID TOUCH IT deuce: WHY AREN'T YOU TOUCHING IT

deuce: why did you deadname my balls pants: ahem deadname is my slave name deuce: weird, it's my porn name

bung: IT HURTS deuce: I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE bung: MY CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM HAS FAILED deuce: I'M FUCKING YOUR ASS

pants: SO GAY atandt: SOOOO GAY pants: SOOOOOOOOOO GAY atandt: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GAY pants: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GAY atandt: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

deuce: (SQUEAKY, SHEEPISH) deuce: SO WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT US MOVING IN TOGETHER deuce: MAYBE WE COULD PLAY TUGBOAT GAMES spigot: WE SHOULD POST A PIC OF US IN THE TUB ON TUMBLR!!!! WITH SUDS spigot: GREETINGS FROM JERKC-- BONEQUEST *BEEP!* deuce: SO GAY IT HURTS deuce: SERIOUSLY IT HURTS spigot: LIKE WE'RE SIBLINGS AND MOM TOOK IT deuce: TOTALLY INNOCENT BUT YET NAKED AND WET AND SOAPY

spigot: IF YOU'RE SO GREAT THEN WHERE'S A LINK TO YOUR NUDES