spigot: I GUESS THERE'S NOTHING COOL ABOUT PUNCHING A FLORIST

pants: THE SECRET CACHE OF DICKS spigot: WHAT IN THE pants: BURIED BY A PIRATE (NO DOUBT) spigot: WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ALL THESE DONGS spigot: HAVE YOU SEEN THESE THINGS

deuce: LET'S TALK IN ESPERANTO NOW: deuce: WOULXD YOUX LIKXE TO SUCXK MYX DIXKCKX deuce: IT'S CODE YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND IT

pants: YOU ARE ALL ARE PROBABLY ASLEEP pants: MY SECRET QUEERNESS STARTS AT NIGHT pants: BUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

pants: COME TO MY SECRET URINE PARTY pants: I'VE GOT A KIDDIE POOL IN THE LIVING ROOM AND PLENTY OF ADULT UNDERGARMENTS pants: PLUS A BUCKET deuce: COCKS

spigot: HOMPTH CRUNCH SUDDENLY PAUSES TO HEAR IF ANYONE IS COMING CRUNCH HOMPTH CRUNCH

dick: WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?!?!? deuce: T DICK FROM WOMEN'S TUMMIES (THAT'S WHY I TURNED GAY)

pants: SEE ALSO: SPELL TO TRANSFORM TEETH INTO MARSHMALLOWS

ozone: SEE FOR YOURSELF ozone: CLOSER ozone: CLOSER deuce: APTHTHGHBHHFFFF YOU TRICKED ME

spigot: SEE ME PLEASE ABOUT YELLOW URINE CRYSTALS ON/IN SINK

spigot: CAN WE THINK OF A BETTER NAME FOR MAN THAN 'HOMO' spigot: HOMO ERECTUS spigot: SEE THIS IS WHY EVERYTHING IS FAKE

spigot: HAS AMERICA LEARNED :POINT-RIGHT: :POINT-RIGHT: ANYTHING :POINT-LEFT: :POINT-LEFT: ABOUT FORCING KIDS TO GO TO SCHOOL ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? spigot: WHY CAN'T THERE BE MORE SHOOTINGS AT WHOLE FOODS spigot: I HATE THAT PLACE

deuce: BRAWWWK pants: YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM SOME SEEDS OR A PEANUT deuce: HE'LL JUST CRAP THEM OUT EVENTUALLY (MY STUDIES SHOW)

deuce: I SEEM TO HAVE TAKEN PILLS WHICH GOT ME HIGH effigy: LUCKY

pants: GUARDS pants: SEIZE HIM deuce: I REGRET NOTHING

.(spigot): SHIT!!! THIS GIRL IN FRONT OF ME JUST ASKED A QUESTION AND SHE NEEDS A RESPONSE AND I WASN'T LISTENING spigot: YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE I SUCK DICK!!!! spigot: I'VE BEEN A CLOSET FAG AS FAR BACK AS I CAN REMEMBER!!! I TAKE VIAGRA JUST TO GET IT UP WITH YOU!!! I'M ADDICTED TO PORNOGRAPHY AND I THINK MY WHOLE LIFE IS FALLING APART!!! spigot: I'M JUGGLING SO MANY HUGE COCKS AND DUMB GIRLS LIKE YOURSELF I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT ALL YOUR NAMES ARE HALF THE TIME spigot: EACH DAY IS LIKE A 1960'S SEX COMEDY, A FRENCH FARCE IN WHICH I KEEP ALL OF YOU AWAY FROM EACH OTHER AND IN THE DARK ABOUT WHO I REALLY AM spigot: I HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEMS. I'M AN OUT OF CONTROL SEX ADDICT THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN DEBT AND I THINK I HAVE AIDS .(spigot): AND NOW, BACK TO MY THOUGHTS

spigot: CORPORATIONS BOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAY MARRIAGE YAY pants: I'M A SELF-HATING FAG IN THAT I LISTEN TO MICHAEL SAVAGE AND READ PLAYBOY FOR THE ARTICLES

deuce: FOLKS, THESE SELF-SUCKING DICKS AREN'T JUST GOING TO SUCK THEMSELVES deuce: WAIT (READING DOCUMENTATION, CONTRACTS, PRODUCTION NOTES, LEGAL MEMORANDA) deuce: NOPE WE'RE GOOD SORRY FOR THE FALSE ALARM

pants: LOOK WHAT I CAN DO (FALLS OFF KITCHEN COUNTER TRYING TO SUCK OWN DICK) deuce: AWESOME BLOSSOM

deuce: I ATE TORTILLA CHIPS LAST NIGHT SO I SCRAPED THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH, PLEASE SEND HELP

pants: IF YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME AN ENEMA AND SEND ME HOME THAT WOULD BE GREAT: GRAHAM CRACKERS, CLEANSING RITUALS deuce: WELL ALL RIGHTY THEN

spigot: I'D LIKE TO THANK CDNOW FOR SENDING ME MAIL ABOUT THE STUFF I ORDERED IN 1997

spigot: WHAT'S THIS ABOUT DICKS NOW spigot: SORRY THOUGHT YOU SAID DICKS

pants: EXPLODES deuce: SOMEONE'S GOT A SERIOUS ATTITUDE PROBLEM deuce: AND THIS TIME IT'S NOT ME

deuce: IF I UPGRADED JERKCITY TO 3.0 WOULD YOU REGISTER THE SHAREWARE FEE OF $5 spigot: I ALREADY REGISTERED AND THERE ARE STILL SERIOUS BUGS deuce: SHIT spigot: CAN I TAKE OFF MY SHIRT AND COME OVER deuce: OKAY BRING EXTRA BANANAS

deuce: OKAY I HAVE A SERIOUS DILEMMA HERE pants: HEAVENS deuce: I AM STILL AWAKE deuce: AND YET I HAVE NO MORE ALCOHOL TO DRINK pants: MY MOUTH NEVER CLOSES deuce: YES YES deuce: "UNE CARTE POSTALE DE JERKCITY VOUS ATTEND" deuce: FUCKING ENGLISH pants: A DRUNKBOT TO LOGIN AT 2AM AND 6AM deuce: 01:50, 05:50 pants: CAN I HAVE THAT IN SWATCH TIME PLZ deuce: IN ALL SERIOUSNESS I AM OUT OF ALCOHOL pants: THIS CANNOT BE GOOD FOR BUSINESS deuce: I THOUGHT I HAD BEERS LEFT pants: USE FTP TO GET SOME FROM BACK EAST deuce: THERE WILL BE SOME SIGNAL DEGRADATION pants: HOW ABOUT A BLOWJOB THEN deuce: DON'T BE GAY pants: B-BUT

atandt: T PANTS IS DEUCE DRINKING pants: WELL DUH deuce: HIC

deuce: SERIOUS INTEREST IN MY SHITS spigot: IS THERE BUZZ YOU CAN USE TO LEVERAGE deuce: BETTER SHIT MORE pants: DEUCE SHIT KEYCHAIN [ADD TO BASKET] deuce: SHIT MERCH

spigot: OKAY PEOPLE SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THE POLLS pants: I THINK I'M GOING TO THROW UP spigot: YOU WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO VOTE FOR ME pants: BAHAHRAHRHARRAHRHAR spigot: WE'LL JUST PAUSE THE JERKCITY WHILE PANTS CLEANS HIMSELF UP

pants: tell me I'm big deuce: it was tiny pants: can you at least please pretend that my wiener inspires fear deuce: I could barely see it pants: maybe dial nine and one and one and hover your thumb over the call button while maintaining serious serious eye contact deuce: are you even a dude

pants: WHAT IS DOCTOR WHO'S FIRST NAME (SERIOUSLY) spigot: I WILL TELL YOU FOR A 54 DOLLAR PLEDGE

spigot: IS THERE SERIOUSLY NO PORN STAR NAMED SANDY HOOK

deuce: GLGLGLG pants: IS TODAY CUPCAKE DAY

spigot: DO YOU SERIOUSLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME PUTTING GLITTER ON HOT DOGS

atandt: I'M SERIOUSLY JUGGLING MY BALLS HERE FOLKS atandt: HOOP HOOP HOOP OK ONE HAND NOW HOP HOP HOP HOP OK HOP HOLY atandt: CHRIST THAT FUCKING HURT atandt: I'D RECOMMEND NOT JUGGLING ONE'S BALLS atandt: THAT WAS LIKE AESOP'S FABLE FOR FAGGOTS

spigot: SERIOUS ABOUT ALL THE CANDY

pants: HE WAS LICKING OUR DICKS THE WHOLE TIME !!!!!!!!!! pants: SERIOUSLY SLOBBERING ON THEM pants: MINE IS PRACTICALLY SHINING/GLISTENING pants: ANYWAY IT GOT SUCKED IS WHAT I'M SAYING deuce: GLHGAHLAG LHAGHLAG deuce: DUDE IT'S COATED WITH SALIVA AND ITS OWN JIZZ AND A LITTLE BIT OF TEARS pants: AND SOME HONEY MUSTARD I THINK pants: WHAT KIND OF A FAG MUSTARDS UP A PERFECTLY GOOD COCK : PANTS HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED.

deuce: YOU'VE STRETCHED OUT MY FEELINGS AND MADE THEM HURT

deuce: SOME MANNER OF FAGGOT spigot: SERVICE ME WITH DONG deuce: I'M FRESH OUT spigot: WHAT'S THAT IN YOUR BACKPACK (LOOKS LIKE DONG) deuce: STOP STARING

(spigot): SOMETIMES I SET THE ALARM FOR 4AM AND WAKE UP AND JUST CHECK TO SEE IF MY COCKBOT'S OKAY

deuce: I'M A SETI@HOME USER !!!!! deuce: I TRACK THE PROGRESS OF MY WORK UNITS VERY CLOSELY !!!!!!! deuce: I CAN TELL YOU WHERE IN THE SKY MY WORK UNITS ARE FROM !!!!!!!!! deuce: I FEEL LIKE I HAVE THE RIGHT -- deuce: NAY, RESPONISIBLITY -- deuce: TO OPEN MY FAT FUCKING MOUTH deuce: WHENEVER I THINK OF SOME SHIT STUPID SCHEME FOR IMPROVING SETI !!!!!!! deuce: SIR YOUR BOOT AND MY NECK spigot: I HACKED THE SETI SCREEN SAVER SO IT ALWAYS LOOKS SPIKEY AND IMPORTANT!!!! deuce: NOT KIDDING ABOUT THAT BOOT spigot: I WILL WIN THE PEACE PRIZE, REWARD MONEY

pants: PUT ME IN THE HAMPER, I'M DIRTY deuce: SETTING YOU ON FIRE INSTEAD

pants: I LIKE POO SO VERY MUCH deuce: SETTLE DOWN OR I'LL CALL THE FEDS

spigot: JUST PUT THE SETUP IN THE TITLE AND THE PUNCHLINE IN THE GREY TEXT IF YOU'RE SO GODDAMN LAZY deuce: I WILL spigot: THEN YOUR "USERBASE" CAN CLIP AND SAVE FRAME ZERO LIKE A LAUNDRY TICKET AND ENJOY THEIR FAGGOTY FRIDAY FUCKTOONS ON THE BUS deuce: YOU'RE AFRAME ZERO spigot: AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY AFRAME :POINT_RIGHT: :POINT_RIGHT: :POINT_RIGHT: DICKLICKER :POINT_LEFT: :POINT_LEFT: :POINT_LEFT: IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT ????? pants: FOLKS, FOLKS deuce: AS USUAL, FUCKNUT HEREIS MAKING THINGS HARDERBUT NOT BETTER spigot: THE HARD DATA PROVESEVERYONE IS A SHITHEADEXCEPT ME pants: SHHHHHHH spigot: HE IS LITERALLY PUTTING THE STUPIDEST NOT-FUNNY SHIT IN HERE deuce: IT IS LITERALLY ALL STUPID NOT-FUNNY SHIT YOU FUCKING BUFFOON pants: SHHHHHHHH spigot: BUT SOME IS BETTER deuce: YOU ARE MADEOF GARBAGE pants: SHHHHHHHH pants: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

deuce: SEVEN STAGES OF DICKLICKERY dick: SEVEN DEGREES OF PLEASE STOPPING BEATING ME deuce: OW OW OW OW OW deuce: I SURE HOPE THE LAST STAGE IS ACCEPTANCE deuce: BECAUSE THIS IS REALLY HURTING ME deuce: OW OW OW OW OW

pants: T DEUCE WE NEED FLIGHTS TO BUENOS AIRES TONIGHT, BRING YOUR HANDGUN AND YOUR CAT (IN A CRATE) pants: T DEUCE BUENOS AIRES TRIP CANCELED, EVERYTHING'S FINE NOW (JUST NEED YOU TO HELP ME DIG A HOLE) deuce: I WILL HAVE A HEART ATTACK WHILE DIGGING AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO DIG TWO HOLES deuce: SO REALLY YOU'RE BEST LEAVING ME OUT OF IT (ONE FEWER HOLE TO DIG) deuce: I WILL NOT COMPLETE EVEN ONE HOLE deuce: THIS IS THE SEVEN STAGES OF GRIEF AND I'M STILL ON `NEGOTIATION`

spigot: I'LL SEE YOUR 76 FAT PRICKS IN THE BIG PARADE AND RAISE YOU 110 BIG FAT DONGS CLOSE AT HAND

spigot: ACCORDING TO THE COSMIC CALENDAR I'VE ONLY BEEN LICKING DICK FOR HALF A SECOND BUT HONESTLY IT FEELS LIKE SEVERAL HOURS

spigot: I WOULD STING AND DROWN STEVE IRWIN SEVERAL TIMES A DAY deuce: NOTE: HE DID NOT ACTUALLY DROWN deuce: THE IMPORTANT THING IS THE STINGRAY GOT AWAY WITH IT deuce: JUSTIFIED, NO CHARGES FILED deuce: RETURNED HOME TO A TICKER-TAPE PARADE deuce: GIVEN THE KEY TO THE (UNDERWATER) CITY deuce: MANY FAWNING INTERVIEWS ON STINGRAY TELEVISION deuce: BUT CABLE, NOT BROADCAST

pants: GET ON GET ON GET ON pants: GET ON GET ON GET ON pants: OKAY GET OFF GET OFF GET OFFA ME spigot: I'M JUST FUCKING STANDING HERE

spigot: MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH pants: SEWAGE CAN BACK UP INTO YOUR HOME : Microsoft Chat : /!\ The user deuce is not conne pants: SEWAGE CAN BACK UP INTO YOUR HOME pants: SEWAGE CA| : [ OK ] deuce: SEWAGE IS COOL

spigot: SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: I NEED GAS MONEY

deuce: SEX pants: YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!! pants: AND NOW YOU DON'T (I SPOTTED A MOTH)

deuce: ANGRY ABOUT THIS PEOPLE pants: VERY UPSET ALSO deuce: GIMME SOME HEAD spigot: OKAY VERY FUNNY WHO WROTE "SEX BOAT" ON MY CAR

deuce: I WANT A SEX CHANGE pants: WHICH DIRECTION deuce: SURPRISE ME

spigot: HUBAGLUBGABG pants: BHAGHUHUHAG spigot: WAIT WHAT pants: WHAT WHAT spigot: YOU ARE POKING BUT NOT CHOKING pants: THAT IS A BALD-FACED LIE spigot: THAT DOES IT !!! YOU'RE OFF MY SEX CHART pants: HOW DARE YOU SIR spigot: CROSSING YOUR USERNAME OUT FOREVER pants: OH YEAH ??? WELL YOU'RE OFF MY SEX CHART NOW spigot: SOB YOU MONSTER HOW COULD YOU pants: I AM BACKSPACING OVER YOUR HANDLE deuce: IF THE TWO OF YOU DON'T PIPE DOWN YOU'RE BOTH GOING ON MY SEX CHART spigot: (WHISPERING) YOU ARE SO OFF THE CHART pants: (WHISPERING) HUBAGHLAULHUG

deuce: I HAVE A HEADACHE FOR SOME REASON (PLZ FIX THX) pants: IS IT A "TOO MUCH BEATING OFF" HEADACHE OR A "NOT ENOUGH BEATING OFF" HEADACHE pants: THERE IS NO WIGGLE ROOM HERE deuce: I SURE HOPE IT'S THE LATTER deuce: SEX HEADACHES ARE AWFUL

spigot: CAN SOMEONE TAPE SEX AND THE CITY FOR ME AND THEN MAIL ME THE TAPE spigot: ALSO A MARIJUANA JOINT SO I CAN GET THROUGH IT

pants: HEY EVERYBODY LOOK WHAT'S IN MY TROUSERS: pants: A TORRENTIAL ATMOSPHERIC RIVER AND FUNNEL DRENCHING RAINS pants: IT'S STUCK YOU JUST HAVE TO TUG IT pants: CONTINUE TO TUG pants: DON'T STOP spigot: I'M ON A CALL

spigot: NO I WILL NOT "MAKE OUT" WITH YOU

atandt: SEX PIT pants: GET OUT OF HERE

deuce: WILL YOU WATCH MY SEX TAPE pants: I DON’T LIKE WATCHING MYSELF ON CAMERA

deuce: SEX U UP pants: OKAY NOW SEX MEBACK DOWN PLEASE deuce: N pants: I HAVE A FEAR OF HEIGHTS deuce: U WILL STAY THERE UNTIL U LEARN pants: I WILLLEARN NOTHING

pants: HEIL ME LIKE YOU HEIL HITLER pants: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I SAY pants: I GET PAID TO SHOW UP

deuce: THE BIGGEST PERK OF BEING A SERVANT OF THE DEVIL IS YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH GOATS deuce: FREELY

pants: SEX WITH MISTER PEANUT pants: ALSO THE GUY WITH THE MALLET AND THE MOUSE pants: YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT pants: 186,000 DICKS PER SECOND deuce: BURP pants: PLEASE MAKE SODOMY LEGAL OR ELSE: SODOMY deuce: SORRY I BURPED

pants: SEXUAL BATTERY: NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS spigot: DO YOU NEED A JUMP

pants: pound me into the sand deuce: touch / dicks pants: the motherfucking fucking boss deuce: sexual congress

pants: WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED spigot: DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T LIKE IT JIGGLES deuce: I LEARNED THAT CALLING ME "JIGGLES" IS NOT DISCRIMINATORY IF DONE IN GOOD FAITH (MY T-SHIRT READS "CALL ME JIGGLES")

dick: SEXUAL MISCONDUCTING YOU deuce: BEING SEXUAL MISCONDUCTED, AYE

deuce: WE'LL TALK ABOUT ALL YOUR PROBLEMS (SEXUAL AND OTHERWISE!!!) TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: OH RIGHT pants: ALL THE SEXUAL PROBLEMS

pants: I LOVE YOU SO VERY, VERY MUCH MMMMM COME TO ME MMMMMMM KISSING THINGS I SHOULD NOT BE KISSING MMMMMMMMMM deuce: DUDE THAT'S A LAMP POST deuce: AND A PARTICULARLY UNATTRACTIVE ONE AT THAT pants: FUCK YEAH MMMMMM YEAH deuce: HAVE YOU NO STANDARDS?!?!?!? JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE REALLY GOING DOWN ON IT pants: BLBLBLBLBBL SEXY LAMPPOST HUGALUGAHALG

spigot: I MUST SAY THE SF BONER EXPO WAS SORT OF A LETDOWN pants: NOT ENOUGH OR TOO MUCH spigot: IT WAS JUST SOME GUY'S APARTMENT

deuce: W HSDF KLSDFKLSDF; deuce: SFSD;F deuce: SDH deuce: KF

deuce: FIRST SHA1SUM COLLISION AND CIVILIZATION COLLAPSES pants: I’M OKAY WITH THAT deuce: IN 3 2 1

atandt: IT'S THE SEVENTIES AND I'M A BLACK COP WITH BRUCE LEE'S SKILLS AND MY OWN ATTITUDE atandt: WITH A FINE BLACK SISTA WHO WANTSA GET BUSY WITH ME :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: :EGGPLANT: atandt: ANY ADVICE ????? pants: ALL YOUR WEBSITES RUINED MY LIFE

deuce: LOVE IS A MANY BONER'D THING pants: BONER'D pants: PERHAPS THAT IS THE FIRST TIME THAT WORD HAS EVER BEEN WRITTEN deuce: (SHAKESPEARE YOU SEE)

deuce: THE TIKI MASK HIDES MY SHAME

effigy: ARE YOU FOR EATING lobster: WHAT lobster: ABSOLUTELY NO lobster: AM I NOT A SENTIENT CREATURE lobster: DO I NOT LOVE AND FEEL PAIN AND LAUGH AT THE SUN AND THE SKY AND THE STARS lobster: DO I NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED AS ONE OF GOD'S LOVED CREATURES lobster: CAN YOU TRULY SUM UP MY EXISTENCE THAT WAY lobster: SHAME ON YOU SIR lobster: SHAME ON YOU effigy: BURP

dick: WHAT DOESN'T KILL ME LEAVES ME SHAMED AND HUMILIATED FROM THE RAPE deuce: THAT'S WHAT I'M A-COUNTIN' ON

spigot: WHERE'S THE SHAMPOO DISPENSSSSSSSSSSSS pants: IT’S STUCK YOU JUST HAVE TO TUG IT pants: HMM MAYBE THE OTHER DIRECTION pants: WAS ANYBODY ON THIS TALKER NOT MOLESTED

pants: I SHAN’T BE JACKED OFF pants: NOT BY THE LIKES OF YOU, SIR deuce: FINALLY, A REPRIEVE

spigot: > spigot: >> spigot: >>> spigot: FOLKS THAT'S MY TIVO

spigot: LOOKS LIKE THIS FACILITY . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . spigot: (TAKES OFF GLASSES) spigot: . . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . . . . . . . spigot: . . . . IS SHAPED LIKE A DICK

deuce: I CAN'T FEEL BELOW MY KNEES deuce: WHICH IS PROBABLY CONVENIENT AT THIS POINT BECAUSE THERE'S A LARGE SHARK ATTACHED TO THEM

deuce: OKAY SHARON STONE IS NOW HAWKING AOL pants: IF YOU LOGIN I'LL CLOSE MY LEGS !!!!! pants: UNTIL THEN: FLAP FLAP FLAP MY GASH deuce: CAN I OPT OUT OF THIS

deuce: THERE'S SOMETHING SHARP AND POINTY STICKING OUT OF MY ASS deuce: ANYONE HERE WANT TO EXPLAIN THAT deuce: UNNNNNNGH

spigot: BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS spigot: AND BALLBAGS spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO DO A BM IN MY STILLSUIT spigot: PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE FOREVER CHEMICALS IN MY PENIS AND THE SHARP PLASTIC NANO-FRAGMENTS IN MY WIFE'S PENIS

deuce: WHO WANTS TO SHAVE ME atandt: I WOULD LIKE NOT TO atandt: IN FACT atandt: I WILL PAY deuce: (TURNS TO CAMERA) YOU CAN SEE HOW THIS SCAM REALLY PAYS OFF atandt: WAIT WERE YOU TAPING THAT deuce: NO (FUMBLES WITH DEVICE)

pants: ALL YOU NEED IS POO pants: POO IS ALL YOU NEED deuce: TURN ME ON GAY MAN

spigot: HER NAME IS DR. POLASKI AND SHE WORKS VERY HARD spigot: SHE JUGGLES A STARFLEET CAREER AND MY STARFLEET BALLS spigot: I HAVE TO GO NOW

deuce: WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS spigot: PERSONALLY AND PROFESSIONALLY I DO NOT DARE deuce: ZARDOZ OUTFIT spigot: SHEETCAKES

deuce: I THINK MY COMPUTER HAS BEEN HACKED BECAUSE I'M VERY SURE I DIDN'T DOWNLOAD THIS SHEMALE PORN deuce: HOWEVER I'LL ADMIT TO THE COMPUTER-GENERATED PORN BUT JUST BECAUSE I WAS THINKING ABOUT CHUN LI deuce: WHO YA TALKIN' TO [EXPURGATED]

deuce: T PANTS WHY DOES YOUR IPAD REFUSE TO PLAY SHEMALE VIDEOS deuce: I MEAN deuce: NEVER MIND pants: T DEUCE NO THEY PLAY FINE

deuce: T PANTS HEY deuce: T PANTS HEY deuce: T PANTS HEY HEY pants: T DEUCE HEY deuce: GUESS WHAT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR MEANS WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO??? pants: PUMPKIN CHAI LATTES AT STARBUCKS?????? deuce: WWW.SHENYUN.COM spigot: THE TINIEST, QUIETEST GURK ESCAPING MY LIPS spigot: SO THE AUDIENCE KNOWS I DIED OF BOREDOM AT SHEN YUN

deuce: I HAVE TO HIT SHIFT-7 TO GET AN APOSTROPHE

pants: WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU spigot: A GUY ON A TRACK TO MANAGEMENT pants: SHIFT-RELOAD???????????? net: ZAP YOUR PRAM

spigot: MY PIANO TEACHER TOLD ME TO PLAY A B-FLAT BUT INSTEAD I PLAYED A B-FAT THEN I PLONKED OUT SOME B-GAYS spigot: PLONK BLONK DONK BLUH HOO DEE BOO SHINE spigot: THEN I FELL OFF THE CHAIR / BENCH

pants: it's your shinebox mister i don't wanna tell you what to do but i think you should go get it deuce: I don't want to get off on a rant here but GET YOUR FUCKING SHINEBOX pants: won't someone rid me of this turbulent NOT HAVING SHINEBOX Motherfucker