deuce: REMEMBER THE '70S ????? pants: NOPE effigy: NO spigot: HANG YOURSELF

pants: WHO ELSE THINKS THE COCK FESTIVAL IS GETTING TOO COMMERCIAL spigot: I REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS ABOUT THE COCKS

pants: remix me deuce: stuffing you in a shoe pants: hurray i'm a sock

deuce: FINALLY I REPLACED THE FUCKING BATTERY IN MY REMOTE CONTROL deuce: ALL IS BLISS deuce: NOW I'M NOT NEARLY SO UPSET ABOUT THOSE ANGRY COCKS ANYMORE deuce: OKAY I LIED I'M PRETTY DARN UPSET ABOUT THEM

hanford: WHERE DID THE HOMELESS DUDE COME FROM pants: NO CLUE MAN*

spigot: CAN MY PENIS LIVE RENT-FREE IN YOUR REAR END

spigot: FOLKS THIS ONE-MAN SHOW SPONSORED IN PART BY LOOTCRATE AND TRUNKCLUB AND SHITHEAD AND SHINEBOX pants: AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU

pants: WE FIXED THE CROPPING spigot: WHENEVER I FIDGET WITH MY NUTS FOR > 3 MINUTES I CALL IT A REORG

pants: ASIANA 214 HEAVY YOU ARE CLEAR TO LAND ON RUNWAY 36 deuce: [UNINTELLIGIBLE] pants: ASIANA 214 HEAVY, REPEAT YOUR LAST deuce: WE SUCKY FUCKY pants: ROGER THAT ASIANA 214 HEAVY

deuce: THERE'S A DONKEY deuce: REPEAT: THERE'S A DONKEY pants: WHAT pants: I MEAN, WHAT deuce: IN THE NEW SERVER, ON THE MAIN BRIDGE deuce: A DONKEY pants: ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT A NEW HORSE deuce: IT'S A DONKEY AND DAT'S DAT pants: WHAT A WORLD deuce: IT'S BRAYING LIKE A DONKEY, SO NOT A HORSE deuce: BUT YOU CAN RIDE IT pants: DOWN THE CANYON WE GO

spigot: 1A 7:20 - STILL NOBODY HAS ACKNOWLEDGED YOUR REPEATED, URGENT, OVERMODULATED *BALLS* AND WITH THE COSBY SHOW IN THE BACKGROUND YOU UNKEY WITH A HARD, FLAT "FUCK THESE PEOPLE"

deuce: RAPE CLAUSE pants: STARRING TIM ALLEN I HOPE AND PRAY pants: YOU AND YOUR FINE PRINT deuce: WE ALSO WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED "BOY I'M SURE NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO CHRISTMAS THEN" pants: END OF Q4 IS GOING TO SUCK deuce: BGAHLUAHGLUHAG

pants: BUGGER YE ALL spigot: repeater spigot: time spigot: out spigot: cancel

deuce: WE WILL STILL DIE pants: WHAT IF WE REPENT

spigot: HOW ABOUT SOME LONG DONGS DELIVERED TO MY INBOX

spigot: PI CALCULATED TO 105 TRILLION DIGITS, SMASHING WORLD RECORD spigot: WE GET IT, IT'S AROUND 3 pants: BONEQUEST ENDORSES KAMALA HARRIS deuce: THANKS, WE JUST LOST OUR 501(C) TAX EXEMPTION

deuce: LET'S TALK USING THE FOLLOWING SECRET PROTOCOL : DEUCE MAKES NOTHING BUT SLURPING NOISES FOR HALF AN HOUR

pants: SITTING / STANDING / WALKING pants: LIFTING/ CARRYING pants: PUSHING / PULLING pants: BENDING / STOOPING pants: SQUATTING / KNEELING / CRAWLING pants: TWISTING / TURNING pants: CLIMBING / BALANCING pants: REACHING pants: GRASPING / MANIPULATING effigy: OUT OF MY LEAGUE, I KNOW

deuce: WHAT'S BROWN AND STICKY pants: WHAT deuce: UNKNOWN AT PRESENT, REQUIRES FURTHER RESEARCH pants: WILL SCIENCE EVER LEARN deuce: DO YOU THINK HISTORY WILL REMEMBER US AS HEROES OR AS VILLAINS pants: WE SHALL BE REMEMBERED AS DELICIOUS SANDWICHES

deuce: JESUS CHRIST deuce: MY RESERVE IS DOWN TO EMPTY deuce: E--|-------------F

pants: BLACK BROWN RED ORANGE YELLOW GREEN BLUE VIOLET GREY WHITE pants: :POINT_UP: ALL THE GENDERS deuce: WHY DID YOU IGNORE MAUVE YOU BIGOT pants: BECAUSE IT’S NOT A VALID RESISTOR COLOR

pants: FORCING THINGS (SPOONS,ETC.) UP ME deuce: I CAN RESPECT THAT

pants: SIR YOUR TICKET STUB SIR SIR pants: EXCUSE ME I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU NICELY TO LEAVE deuce: RUNNING AWAY pants: PLEASE HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THIS MALL spigot: COULD SOMEONE POINT ME IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF YE OLDE BATH SOAP SHOPPE

pants: REST ASSURED THAT NOTHING I SAY MATTERS deuce: YOU AND ME BOTH, SISTER

deuce: MOTHER WANTS ME TO STOP RAPING FACES pants: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT deuce: T PANTS DON'T TALK SO LOUD MOM CAN HEAR YOU pants: MOTHER'S DYING WISH WAS THAT YOU CONTINUE TO RAPE FACES pants: LET HER GO SO SHE CAN REST IN PEACE AND I CAN GO BACK TO BED

pants: IF I SAY, "I NEED TO VISIT THE PISS ROOM" YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON pants: WHAT THE FUCK IS "I NEED TO VISIT THE REST ROOM" pants: WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT pants: I HAVE NO INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON deuce: IT MEANS YOU NEED TO REST deuce: BETTER "MEN'S ROOM" THAN "LAVATORY" (WHICH IS JUST GAY) pants: SO WHAT'S IN THE W.C. deuce: THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW

pants: RESULTS OF COOKIE BUZZSAW STRESS TESTING ARE AS FOLLOWS: pants: - LIMITS NOT REACHED pants: RESULTS END HERE

pants: SHOULD I INCLUDE MY LOVE FOR COCK IN MY RESUME? pants: A PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THESE THINGS pants: AFTER ALL, THIS IS AMERICA

pants: I HAVE SMOKED MYSELF RETARDED

pants: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M GOING TO SUCK IT pants: NEVER FORGET WHO YOU ARE pants: LITTLE STAR pants: I DEFINITELY WOULD pants: SO ANYWAY pants: I FIGURE I CAN GET UNEMPLOYMENT OR SOMETHING pants: CAN YOU HEAR THE LITTLE ANGELS pants: DON'T TRY TO FOOL ME INTO NOT SUCKING IT !!! DISTRACTING ME WILL ONLY FAIL HULAHGLUAG

spigot: ALL I KNOW IS ONCE I RETIRE I'LL HAVE TO GROW MY OWN CORN DOGS

deuce: ON MAY 7, 2023 THIS PAPER INADVERTENTLY RAN A STRIP WHICH WAS DISRESPECTFUL TO STOUFFER'S LASAGNA. deuce: BOTH STOUFFER'S AND ITS PARENT COMPANY NESTLE ARE GLOBALLY RESPECTED AND BELOVED BRANDS. YESTERDAY'S CONTENT WAS NEITHER AUTHORIZED NOR REVIEWED BY MANAGEMENT PRIOR TO PUBLICATION. deuce: BONEQUEST REGRETS THE ERROR.

lobster: MAY I BE EXCUSED pants: I THOUGHT WE ATE YOU

spigot: BEEP BONK spigot: I'M C3PO spigot: BOOP DOOP spigot: LET'S GO RUNNING AROUND IN THE SAND OR WHATEVER WE WERE DOING pants: I'M THE ROBOT THAT GIVES HEAD (WHICHEVER ONE THAT WAS) spigot: CLONKING

spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO PIN MY PENIS TO THE TASKBAR

spigot: SUBJECT: FOLKS I HAVE AIDS!!!!!!! spigot: I KNOW THAT WILL BE A SURPRISE BUT I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THE HEADS-UP AND SOLICIT SYMPATHY/DONATIONS spigot: SUBJECT: FOLKS THE POLICE ARE TELLING ME I CAN AVOID JAIL IF ANYONE CAN RETURN THE MARKERS I WAS USING TO FAKE AIDS SPOTS

deuce: IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF SUPERSYMMETRIC PARTICLE I'D BE A PRICKALINO

pants: YOUR RAPE KIT ISN'T VERY ELABORATE pants: IT CONSISTS OF A BIG STICK pants: WHICH WHILE EFFECTIVE IS NOT VERY INTERESTING captain: GET OUTTA HERE

deuce: HLFHLGHLGHLGGHLGLHGHL RETURNING TO BASE STATE LHGLGHGHGHLGLGHL HEAD

pants: we keep returning to the same themes deuce: we're not only not that bright but not that original either pants: also i know i promised to put my urine exclusively in the toilet but here's the thing see

spigot: WHAT PART OF REVERSE SQUIRT GANGBANG IS HARD TO UNDERSTAND spigot: THE GUY WHO RUNS THE ADULT BOOKSTORE IS FORCING ME TO GET VACCINATED spigot: BRING A GUN TO THE AIRPORT DAY

spigot: DURRRRRR spigot: HURF GUH SQUIRT << REW << HURF GUH SQUIRT << REW << HURF GUH SQUIRT << REW << HURF GUH SQUIRT << REW << deuce: GAS CHAMBER

atandt: JOIN #ICONS_OF_FATNESS pants: JOIN #PRICKS atandt: JOIN #DICKS pants: JOIN #WANGS, #DONGS atandt: JOIN #BUTTERBALLS pants: JOIN #DUH atandt: JOIN #FARTS pants: JOIN #URINEPARTY atandt: JOIN #BONEQUEST pants: OH GOD DON'T GO THERE THAT PLACE IS FULL OF FAGS

spigot: THAT SASSY BART SIMPSON spigot: I LIKE WHEN BART DOES SOMETHING AND HOMER GOES DOH

spigot: HEY WHAT DID RICHARD HART SAY WHEN I STUCK MY DICK IN HIS FACE????? spigot: I C|NUTS

deuce: WHO ARE YOU pants: PANTS WHO LOVES DICK MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF pants: OR PRESIDENT NIXON I'M NOT SURE deuce: BUT NIXON IS DEAD pants: THEN I'M PANTS

deuce: I HAVE FALLEN DOWN A WELL AND THERE IS PISS AND BONES DOWN HERE AND I WOULD LIKE TO BE RESCUED NOW THANK YOU spigot: YOU CAN ONLY RIDE THE WELL THING FOR SO LONG

deuce: T SPIGOT I DERIVED THE ACTUAL EXPRESSION OF THE RIEMANN TENSOR spigot: IS THAT HOW STEVE JOBS DIED

deuce: pissing dicks pants: dicks that piss deuce: right deuce: those pants: making a note of it

spigot: I DON'T LIKE READING ABOUT GAY PEOPLE RIGHT BEFORE BEDTIME spigot: DENZEL WASHINGTON ***IS*** spigot: MARVIN K. MOONEY

pants: JUST PRESS THE MUZZLE RIGHT BETWEEN MY EYES SO YOU DON'T MISS OR FLINCH

pants: T PANTS I NEED YOUR STUPID FUCKING APPLE ][ CRAP OUT OF MY PRECIOUS CLOSET RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR IT'S GOING ON THE SIDEWALK deuce: ] deuce: UH deuce: THAT WASN'T ME

pants: piss people deuce: is that "Piss, people!" as in "[Here is the] piss, people!" or "Piss, people!" as in "[You must now] piss, people!" or "piss people" as in people made of piss pants: it is people that have a shared interest in piss, similarly to party people deuce: so none of the above pants: right in the mommyhole

pants: T SPIGOT DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE EARLY FOR OUTSIDE LANDS spigot: I THOUGHT YOU WERE HERE ALREADY, GOT A WET HALF-BLANKET AND WARM COORS RIGHT BY THE LARGEST SPEAKERS UP FRONT spigot: YES IT IS RIGHT IN THE SUN

spigot: FOLKS I SPENT GOOD MONEY ON THESE STIR STICKS IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE SHOW UP spigot: I CAN LICK DICK spigot: I DO LICK DICK spigot: I WILL LICK DICK

spigot: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I AM LICKING A DICK STARTING RIGHT NOW spigot: DONE spigot: KLJGITROJ B$()@WJG RAPID TURNOVER DKLJBV()RJ B@$L%

deuce: HOLY FUCK spigot: I'M SUCKING MY OWN DICK RIGHT NOW

deuce: I REALLY, REALLY WISH EVERYONE ON EARTH WOULD SIMULTANEOUSLY COMMIT SUICIDE RIGHT NOW deuce: RIGHT..... NOW deuce: RIGHT....................... NOW

spigot: when they wear condoms it takes me right out of the story

spigot: more like feynman diarrhea grams spigot: did you know in england they get diarrhoea spigot: it squirts right out of the o spigot: maybe feynman can look into that o-ring for once spigot: instead of being so bo-ring

deuce: WHERE'S THE "TAKE A SHIT" BUTTON pants: IT'S RIGHT THERE ON THE DICKBAR

spigot: RAFAH, CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT spigot: WILL HE EVER TOP BANANAPHONE

spigot: i lick dick spigot: RIP my inbox

deuce: RISE AND SHINE, FUCKERS spigot: NO THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: FINE!!!!!!!!!

deuce: OUR PEOPLE WILL RISE UP AGAINST THE INVADERS AND OFFER THEM CUPCAKES effigy: MMMMM deuce: ALL WARS END WITH THE EXCHANGE OF CUPCAKES (IT'S PART OF THE IDEA OF WESTPHALIAN SOVEREIGNTY) effigy: MMMM SOVEREIGNTY

deuce: THAT TENACIOUS D deuce: WILL HE EVER OUTSMART THE ROAD RUNNER ??? deuce: WHAT deuce: OH

deuce: STABBED TO DEATH IN THE HALLWAY

spigot: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE spigot: OR YOUR FUDGE pants: I'M THINKING I'M THINKING

spigot: HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME AND A BLANKET AND MY ROBOCOP TAPE deuce: ROBOCOP I OR II spigot: JUST SAY YES AND LET'S MOVE ON deuce: I'M AFRAID I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET AN ANSWER ON THAT LAST QUERY pants: THERE WAS A ROBOCOP III YOU KNOW (SO DON'T BE RACIST) deuce: OH deuce: WHAT spigot: YOU AND ME AND A BOTTLE OF YOOHOO AND A LAW & ORDER FROM 1991 ???!?!??!? pants: GOOD TIMES

spigot: WHY DOES THAT ROBOT KEEP SAYING I'M A REAL PERSON, CUT IT OUT, ETC

spigot: REPEATER / TIMED / OUT

dick: I AM ROBUST AND EXTENSIBLE deuce: T DICK I'M OBJECT-ORIENTED AND MULTIMEDIA SAVVY deuce: T DICK ALSO I'M PLUG-N-PLAY dick: T DEUCE NO I THINK YOU ARE A FONT OF WISDOM (RHYMES WITH "JIZM"(ALMOST!!!!))!!!!!! deuce: WUHHHH WHERE WERE WE pants: GOLLY

spigot: OKAY FOR FIVE MINS I'M GOING TO ROCK OUT WITH MY COCK OUT deuce: NOTED spigot: STARTING spigot: NOW spigot: I'M DONE I GUESS

pants: I'M AN AMERICAN pants: AND I VOTE deuce: SOMETIMES FOR PEANUTS pants: FOR DICK USUALLY pants: DICK AND PEANUTS FOR ME, PLEASE

spigot: MY ROD AND MY STAFF deuce: T SPIGOT WAIT ARE YOU SOME SORT OF NINJA AND IF SO WHAT SORT deuce: T SPIGOT (TOTALLY OPENING YOU UP FOR A QUEER JOKE HERE) spigot: MY BALLS ARE HIDING SOMEWHERE IN THE SYSTEM FOLDER!!!!!!!!! spigot: HINT: STARTUP ITEMS

spigot: MORE LIKE BLOW V. LAID

pants: COCKS? deuce: ROGER pants: COCKS??????????????? deuce: NEGATORY pants: FUCK

pants: have we tried rolling the boulders over the homeless people

pants: PASS THE CUP TO THE RIGHT AND TAKE A GULP pants: NOT A SIP deuce: THIS HERE CATBOX AIN'T GONNA CLEAN ITSELF pants: ROLLS UP SLEEVES

pants: FALL OUT, MEN pants: SOON WE'LL FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF CREATURES HANG OUT IN PUBLIC RESTROOMS AT 3 IN THE MORNING pants: ROLLS UP SLEEVES

spigot: IS THERE ROOM IN YOUR HEART FOR TEN BIG DICKS IN YOUR MOUTH

deuce: THIS AIN'T VALHEIM: AN XXX PARODY pants: A ROOSTER CROWING EVERY TIME SOMEBODY JIZZES

deuce: MAYBE UKRAINE CAN HOLD THEM OFF INDEFINITELY pants: WORKS FOR ME, WHATEVER'S MORE ENTERTAINING AND DOESN'T PRE-EMPT FOOTBALL pants: NOT MY PRECIOUS XFL OR WHATEVER IT IS pants: THIS YEAR I'M ROOTING FOR THE XML JSONS

pants: WE SHOULD GANG UP ON EACH OTHER (GANG-UP STYLE) deuce: MAYBE pants: I WILL HAVE TO READ THE FINE PRINT deuce: WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE, CHECK THE VALUES pants: ROOTING AROUND

pants: CHRIST-A-LORD THIS JIZZ IS ROPEY

deuce: HERE WE GO pants: MY NIGGA spigot: HOMES???????? pants: T DEUCE WHAT ARE WE SAYING deuce: T PANTS YOU WISHED HIM LUCK IN HIS FUTURE ENDEAVORS AND HE INDICATED AN UNWILLINGNESS TO PERFORM ORAL SEX WITH YOU AND FINALLY IN RESPONSE YOU CALLED HIM A JEWBITER

spigot: MAYBE THE UNITED STATES MILITARY OPERATIVES STATIONED AT AREA 51 SHOULD DIRECT SOME OF THEIR PRECIOUS ANTI-AIRCRAFT HIGH PULSE MICROWAVE RADIATION `EVTUG URER NG QRRM AHGF`

spigot: MORE LIKE ELIZABETH DUMB!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHA MUWAHAHA ROTFSD

deuce: I AM PUMMELLING YOU WITH ROTTEN FRUITS AND VEGETABLES

deuce: AS PER OUR PREVIOUS DISCUSSION WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP PUTTING ROTTING SHIT IN POTS AND BURYING THEM IN MY YARD THANKS spigot: FEX-EX??

pants: THAT'S THE STUFF pants: JERK ME OFF SLOW THIS TIME I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE FIGHTS pants: DEM BOXERS ARE NOTHING BUT A BUNCHA BUMS

spigot: ROUGHLY TWENTY OF YOUR EARTH DICKS

spigot: ROUGHLY 5ML GAY deuce: T SPIGOT SO YOU'RE SAYING GAYNESS HAS ROUGHLY THE DENSITY OF WATER spigot: I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT deuce: THAT IS THE LOGICAL CONCLUSION OF YOUR PRIOR STATETETETETETETETETETE

: Originally published on October 29, 1996 pants: OKAY YOU'RE THE SHIT MAN AND I EAT SHIT deuce: DING pants: WE'RE SET FOR LIFE deuce: ROUND TWO

pants: T DEUCE PLEASE PICK FROM THE MENU deuce: T PANTS DON'T EVER USE THAT WORD AGAIN (THANK YOU)

net: T DEUCE YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I HEARD ABOUT ROXANNE SHANTE deuce: ONLY GOOD FOR STEADY FUCKIN' ?!!?!?!?! net: SO YOU'VE HEARD TOO

pants: QQ: WHO PUT `ROYAL BEATOFF SESSION` ON MY CALENDAR AND ALSO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN deuce: I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED A BREAK pants: THAT IS VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU