pants: NO TWO MEMBERS DRESS ALIKE deuce: THE PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF JERKCITY pants: SYMBOLS OF TEENAGE REBELLION deuce: I'M WORRIED THAT I BLOW GOATS WHEN I'M ASLEEP pants: THIS MEANS WAR deuce: ZZZZZZZZZ GHLAGHLAGHAGHL ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ AGHLGHAGHAGHLAGHLG

spigot: CAN'T WE USE AI TO SUPERIMPOSE LIMBS AND LEGS ON THE PARALYMPIANS spigot: THEIR FINGERS AND HANDS COULD STAY EXACTLY THE SAME spigot: ADS THEN

spigot: I PREFER PROUD, DEFIANT JERKS spigot: THE KIND THAT SPURT UP AND SAY "HEY I'M GAY TODAY" spigot: "AND I MIGHT BE GAY TOMORROW AND THE DAY AFTER THAT" spigot: I APOLOGIZE spigot: I DON'T OWN ANY STEPHEN KING spigot: WELL I HOPE THESE JOKES ARE STILL FRESH spigot: AFTER ALL THE LIGHT YEARS THEY TRAVELLED TO GET HERE spigot: THESE SPACE JOKES

spigot: FOLKS A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO DICKS

spigot: I SEARCHED FOR PRUNES TO FAKE OUT AD SERVERS AND NOW I'M SEEING ADS FOR PRUNES AND I'M LIKE HA HA DON'T CARE MEANWHILE BANKRUPT PRUNE FARMERS ARE SMOTHERING THEIR CHILDREN AND HANGING THEMSELVES DUE TO MY PRUNE ABUSE

deuce: I'M COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET deuce: NOW I'M GOING BACK IN deuce: PSYCH

deuce: IT TAKES TWO TO SUCK DICK deuce: ONE TO FORCE THE OTHER AND THE OTHER TO CALL THE COPS deuce: NOTE: SOME PEOPLE REFER TO IT AS "SUCKING COCK"

effigy: AT LEAST PLEASE KEEP YOUR AMMO SEPARATE FROM YOUR FIREARMS

spigot: PATIENTLY WAITING FOR THE AVCLUB TO POST THEIR REVIEW OF TONIGHT'S MILWAUKEE REPEATER CLUB PUBLIC SERVICE NET spigot: A- spigot: I AGREE THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN LONGER

spigot: CLASS POTATO : PUBLIC VEGETABLE spigot: POTATO(); ~POTATO(); spigot: PUBLIC: BOOLEAN IS_IT_A_BLACK_GIRL(VOID);

spigot: PUDDING AND POKERY deuce: WE WITCHES THREE WILL BHALBHLHB

deuce: HLGLHGAHLGAHLAGLHALHA spigot: DUH?!?! deuce: I THINK SO YES !!! NOT HAVING ANY IDEA WHAT WE'RE DISCUSSING spigot: DONGS??!??! EXHAUSTED REALLY QUITE HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TIRED spigot: COCTEAU TWINS?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?

pants: I WEAR ADULT DIAPERS deuce: NOT BECAUSE YOU NEED TO, YOU JUST THINK THEY'RE FASHIONABLE pants: RIGHT pants: THEY REALLY MAKE MY DOCKERS LOOK PUFFY AROUND THE WAIST AREA

deuce: PUH FTH FEH deuce: I'M COMPLETELY COVERED IN PISS deuce: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

pants: HERE pants: TAKE MY TONGUE pants: PULL YOURSELF TO SAFETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

spigot: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD PULL MY PORK

pants: YOU MIGHT SAY I'M PULLING FOR MY TEAM spigot: LET'S JUST SAY I WENT TO THE BATHROOM IN THE MICROWAVE

spigot: T PANTS "PLZ" SOUNDS LIKE "PULLS" NOT "PLEASE" pants: MAYBE I CAN TRAIN IT TO USE THE TOILET atandt: PLZ STP FLSHNG pants: I WANT TO GET THE DICKS INTO MY MOUTH AS FAST AS POSSIBLE SO I SHORTEN THE WORD "PLEASE" spigot: T ATANDT LVL 2WO PLZ atandt: PLEASE GET OFF ME pants: I PRONOUNCE IT "PULZ" atandt: PLZ GT FF ME deuce: PLEASE USE VOWELS

pants: YOUR THREE DIMENSIONAL LAWS DO NOT APPLY TO ME deuce: QUACK pants: SHUT UP pants: HURRRRRRRRRR pants: IF WE HAD SOME INSTRUMENTS WE ACTUALLY MIGHT BE GOOD

spigot: THE ONLY JAMS I'M PUMPING OUT ARE FROM THIS PLASTIC BOTTLE OF SMUCKER'S SQUEEZABLE STRAWBERRY spigot: PLPHLTPPHL spigot: PLPGLTH spigot: NOW I CAN BEAT OFF

pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume atandt: brothers and sisters pants: pump up the volume pants: pump up the volume pants: pants pants

spigot: BURNING, BEHEADING pants: I NEED TO BE PUMPED SO FULL OF SPURT THAT I CANNOT SEE STRAIGHT pants: WRITE BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: SIR THIS IS AN ENGINEERING/BAB5 NEWSGROUP

spigot: WE GOTTA FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE COFFEE TASTE MORE LIKE PUMPKINS pants: >>>THE GREAT TASTE OF PUMPKINS<<<

spigot: I'M SPIGOT FROM JERKCITY!!! spigot: PUNCH DUH FORGET spigot: PUNCH DUH SIT

pants: PUNCH ME IN THE UNDERPANTS pants: WOULD YOU LIKE SOME J'S pants: I WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH SOME J'S pants: JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ I AM JUST THAT GOOD pants: PUNCH ME IN THE UNDERPANTS

dick: LET'S PLAY HIDE AND GO RAPE deuce: LANGUAGE bung: HOW ABOUT HIDE AND GO FUCK YOURSELF

pants: DOES MY FACE LOOK PUNCHABLE deuce: DEPENDS pants: BE HONEST deuce: IF YOU MEAN DOES IT IMPLEMENT THE PUNCHABLE INTERFACE, THE ANSWER IS YES deuce: IF YOU MEAN DOES IT INVITE OR ENCOURAGE A PUNCH MORE THAN OTHER SUCH FACES, THE ANSWER IS NO pants: WHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE THAT deuce: T PANTS INCREASE THE PUNCHABILITY ATTRIBUTE deuce: OBJECT 'PANTS\' FACE' IMPLEMENTS PUNCHABLE {PUNCHABILITY: 100; }

deuce: ARE YOUR BALLS SHRINKING OR GROWING OR STAYING THE SAME SIZE pants: DURING THE WINTER THEY ARE LARGE (ENGORGED WITH PISS) BUT IN THE SUMMER THEY EXPAND SO LARGE THEY PULL THE EARTH THROUGH THE SOLAR SYSTEM deuce: AND THE CENTRAL PRESSURE IS HIGH ENOUGH TO BRIEFLY FUSE DEUTERIUM deuce: YOUR BALLS ARE A FAILED STAR deuce: WELL, TWO FAILED STARS pants: PUNCHING THEM

deuce: LET'S GO WHORE PUNCHING (A LITTLE KNOWN COMPANION TO THE ART OF COW TIPPING)

deuce: I SEEM TO HAVE TRIPPED ON MY DONG AGAIN deuce: I KIND OF WISH I HADN'T CUT IT OFF NOW deuce: (PUNCHLINE !!!)

pants: PUNT ME deuce: ROGER THAT,PUNTING YOU pants: AYE, BEING PUNTED deuce: AND THUS ENDSOUR SORDID PLAY pants: WE DONE GOOD HUH

spigot: RUNNING OUT OF COMEDY spigot: THE COMEDY TRAIN IS RUNNING OUT OF STEAM spigot: BUHHUHHUHUH OKAY PEOPLE I'M GAY AND BUHBUH PUPPET SHOW

pants: PURCHASE AUTHORIZED ON 02/02 GIRL SCOUT COOKIES

pants: PISS TESTING RESULTS: ACTUAL URINE deuce: MY PISS TESTCAME BACK:PURE ESTROGEN

pants: WHY IS YOUR MOUTH A CUNT AND YOUR CUNT A CUNT (OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD) pants: PURE TERROR

deuce: DON'T THINK JUST KISS ME pants: NOT IF YOU TAKE MONEY FROM GEORGE SOROS deuce: BUT ONLY A LITTLE pants: ALSO TAKE OFF YOUR HIJAB AND LET ME SEE YOUR PRETTY PRETTY OH GOD YOU'RE A MONSTER deuce: LOVE GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO BE FREE pants: OH GOD TENACLES AND TOO MANY EYES AND A BEAK pants: WHY IS YOUR MOUTH A CUNT AND YOUR CUNT A CUNT pants: PURE TERROR pants: GOING INTO SHOCK : PANTS HAS BEEN SENDING MESSAGES TO YOU TOO RAPIDLY, AND IS NOW BEING IGNORED

spigot: IF I PRETEND IT'S A DIALING WAND IT'S NOT GAY effigy: ......YOU GUYS HIRING?

spigot: if push came to shove i would say lick my dick

spigot: MY REAR END IS SENDING ME PUSH NOTIFICATIONS

pants: RUB ME THE WRONG WAY pants: HITLER'S SECRET BEATOFF BUNKER pants: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A PENIS THIS GAY (HAVE YOU) pants: REALLY PUSH YOUR FACE INTO IT pants: PUSH/SMOOSH deuce: HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING

pants: THIS DOESN'T FEEL LIKE PUSH TECHNOLOGY pants: IT FEELS MORE LIKE MASH MY FACE INTO THE COLD TILE TECHNOOOOOOOOOOOO pants: TECHNOOOOOOOOOO pants: TECHNOLOGGGGGGG pants: GIVING UP

spigot: ELLO deuce: HELLO spigot: I!!!!!!!! deuce: HI spigot: OW ARE YOU DOING (OVER) deuce: SIGH spigot: RE YOU GETTING MY SIGNAL deuce: YOU'RE GETTING CUT OFF spigot: ETTING THIS TRANSMISSION??? deuce: YOU ARE GETTING CUT OFF deuce: PUSH TO TALK, THEN WAIT spigot: NDERSTOOD WILL DO spigot: UCK A COCK

pants: WHAT TIME DOES THE TWINK PARADE START

spigot: WISH YOU WOULD STOP REMARKING ON THE "ENSHITTIFICATION" OF MY ERECTION

pants: PUSSY IN THE WELL pants: PUTT PUTT PUTT PUTT MOTORBOAT NOISES pants: WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE

pants: T DEUCE THERE'S A RESCUE CD-ROM CALLED “PARTITION MAGIC” AND CHRISPBS REFERS TO IT IN SHORTHAND AS “PMAGIC” WHICH I CHOOSE TO UNFURL IN MY BRAIN AS “PUSSY MAGIC” deuce: NICE

pants: PUT BABY IN MIMIC MOUTH PUT BABY IN MIMIC MOUTH

deuce: NO JUST MUWAAAAHH GOODBYE FUCKING WORLD (PUT IN CHAMBER, HIT SLIDE RELEASE, PUT IN THE MOUTH, BLAM) pants: MMMMMMMMM <-- ALL I CAN TYPE NOW

deuce: PUT ME IN THE CRISPING SLEEVE AND THEN JUST GO TO TOWN ON ME

pants: T DEUCE PUT ME IN YOUR CRONTAB deuce: T PANTS HOW pants: T DEUCE YOU'RE THE COMPUTER SCIENTIST JUST PUT ME THERE deuce: T PANTS OKAY pants: T DEUCE TAKE ME OUT OF YOUR CRONTAB WHICH IS IN FACT YOUR LOWER CUPBOARD deuce: NOT UNTIL 0 5 * * 0

spigot: YOU PUT THE LICK IN LICK MY DICK

pants: COCKS deuce: PUT THEM HERE deuce: <--------------

spigot: PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND MY BONER deuce: DONE spigot: JERK IT OR SOMETHING deuce: I'M CONFUSED WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO spigot: SERIOUSLY LOSING THE BONER HERE deuce: I PREFER TO SIMPLY SUMMARIZE BY ANYTHING WOMEN SAY IS FUNNY AND TO BE MOCKED

pants: COCKS deuce: that's horrible pants: sorry deuce: you can do it put your back into it pants: i will not do that deuce: you will

pants: WHO WANTS TO PUTTER AROUND WITH MY BALLS pants: THIS COULD BE YOU: pants: :GOLFER::SKIN-TONE-2:

pants: VAMPYRE FICTION CAN ONLY GROW AND BE GREAT THROUGH THE STRENGTH OF DIVERSITY deuce: RITZ CRACKERS ARE DELICIOUS spigot: HAVE YOUTRIED THEMWITH PB + J deuce: DO I LOOK LIKE A MONSTER TO YOU

spigot: i only sucked one dick today but i'm putting down ten spigot: stolen valor

pants: SHOULD WE PUT YOU TO SLEEP deuce: I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK pants: THERE, THERE pants: NO SERIOUSLY RIGHT THERE (POINTING AT LAP)

effigy: [C[4~[A[A[A[A[A[A deuce: SOMEONE TEACH THAT GUY TO FUCKING TALK

pants: I AM CHECKING THE PYTHON/TK FAQ BUT I SEE NOTHING ABOUT YOUR ARM BEING ALL THE WAY UP THERE deuce: MAYBE CHECK AGAIN

spigot: IS JAMES BOND AT ALLWORRIED THERE MIGHT BENO TIME TO LICK DICK spigot: DOUBLE "O"SOUNDS LIKE DUH / BLOW spigot: HOO BOYHERE COMES :POINT-RIGHT: Q :POINT-LEFT: WITH A WHEELBARROW OF DILDONIC ARDUINOS AND HUCKLEBERRY BUTT PLUGS spigot: DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME DON'T SEE ME spigot: HI

deuce: IF A SHEMALE IS FUCKING A WOMAN THEN IT'S COMPLETELY STRAIGHT deuce: THIS IS PROVEN BY THE FACT THAT THERE IS ONE (1) MALE AND ONE (1) FEMALE deuce: QED deuce: I'M NOT GAY

pants: Q: DID THERE COME A TIME WHEN THE DEFENDANT ASKED YOU TO MASTURBATE HIM? pants: A: YES. spigot: LEAVING NOW

deuce: THE MUPPET SHOW THEME IS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD AND I'D LIKE IT TO STOP (PSA)

deuce: ARE WE SURE THE Q IN QANON DOESN'T STAND FOR QUEER pants: THAT WOULD BE HOT

net: I'M A DUCK deuce: QUACK FOR ME BABY net: ARF ARF deuce: NEXT

deuce: I'M GOING TO JOIN A QUAKE SERVER WITH THE PHRASE "BFG MAPS" IN THE TITLE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE BFG pants: EVERYTHING IS QUEER deuce: I WOULD LIKE TO REPEATEDLY REFER TO YOU AS A "QUAD WHORE" IF THAT'S POSSIBLE pants: AND I WOULD LIKE A HUG AND A KICK deuce: I CAN FURNISH BOTH

spigot: EVERY DINNER IN SAN FRANCISCO INVOLVES TEN DUMB QUAILS, ALL THEY DO IS GET THEIR HEADS CHOPPED OFF pants: QUAILS: NATURE'S FAGS

effigy: I FIGURED OUT THE LADYBOY SPAM BANNERS...... effigy: I CLICKED THROUGH ONCE AND THEY KEEP TRACK effigy: JUST LIKE HOW I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED ON THOSE BANNERS FOR HEMORRHOIDS AND GINGIVITIS effigy: AND THE BOY SCOUTS deuce: `THIS CONVERSATION IS BEING RECORDED FOR QUALITY PURPOSES`

pants: THE PISS CHANNEL deuce: I'D LIKE YOU TO CONSIDER MY PROPOSAL: deuce: [HIGH-FREQUENCY SINE WAVE] deuce: /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ deuce: ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| spigot: [LOW-FREQUENCY SQUARE WAVE] spigot: ############ spigot: NNGGG THE REPEATED PREDICTABLE POUNDING spigot: MY QUANTUM REAR END IS IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE spigot: :MEGA: FUCK ME MORE IN BOTH ASSES

spigot: JUST WANTED TO SAY IT'S BEEN A GRRRREAT spigot: THREE MONTHS AND I LOOK FORWARD TO LICKING spigot: DICKS AND PRICKS IN THE TOILET

deuce: ONE DAY WE WILL BE KINGS deuce: QUEENS* pants: I'M MORE OF A PRINCESS deuce: A MARQUISE pants: WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK

spigot: WE'RE HERE spigot: WE'RE QUEER spigot: FLAME BROILED WHOPPERS

spigot: WHAT DO WE WANT? spigot: COCKS spigot: WHEN DO WE WANT EM? spigot: NOW spigot: WHAT DO WE WANT? spigot: *HOMPH* spigot: WHEN DO WE WANT EM? spigot: *MURF*

pants: TAKING CLASSES AT THE LOCAL QUEER COLLEGE deuce: ON WHAT SUBJECT PRAY TELL pants: SPREADSHEETS, MICROSOFT WORD

spigot: I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF TURNING OUR HOUSE INTO A QUARRANTINE (I COULD DO THE SAME FOR YOU ONLY IT WOULD BE A QUEERANTINE) spigot: WANTED: ONE FAT STUPID ROOMMATE NEEDED FOR 6-ROOM SF FLAT CLOSE TO QUEER PICNIC AREAS AND VIEW OF MY BALLS spigot: WELL BACK TO BED UNTIL I CAN REMEMBER WHICH BUS TAKES ME TO WORK

spigot: QUEER QUEST 2.0A1 spigot: HELP QUINCY QUEER NAVIGATE HIS WAY TO THE GOLDEN DONGS AND BALLS AND WHATEVER ELSE GETS INTO JERKCITY spigot: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PUBLISH ME

pants: HOMOSEXUAL SEX, REALLY NOT ENJOYING THIS TOO MUCH pants: HOMOSEXUAL SEX, PRISON pants: HOMOSEXUAL SEX, STRETCHMARKS AROUD THE MOUTH AREA pants: OH HI pants: I'M JUST FLIPPING THROUGH THE INDEX OF MY QUEER HANDBOOK pants: HOLY GOD pants: I CAN GET A MERIT BADGE FOR SIMPLY BEING JIZZED UP pants: TRYING TO CHEER YOU AND THE AUDIENCE UP

deuce: QUEERBO ISLE deuce: IT'S MORE OF A PENINSULA REALLY DEPENDING ON THE TIME OF YEAR

spigot: OKAY I BROUGHT MY SKILLET AND CONFECTION OVEN AND I'M MAKING QUESADILLAS FOR EVERYONE!!!! spigot: CHOPPING UP FRESH VEGETABLES AND GRILLING GROUND BEEF spigot: FIRE

bung: WHEN I RASTERIZE SOMETHING IT CLIPS THE BOTTOM. CAN I FIX THIS spigot: I'LL FIELD THAT ONE spigot: BHLRHLHBLHLRHL

deuce: IS THIS THE REAL WORLD pants: NAH

pants: I HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT BISEXUAL SUPERMAN

spigot: FOLKS IS THE WHITE HOUSE STILL DOWN spigot: HOW ABOUT THAT BLACKHAWK, IS THAT DOWN spigot: QUICK QUESTION ABOUT THE WATERSHIP

spigot: QUICK TURN TO CHANNEL DICK deuce: NO SUCH CHANNEL spigot: DID I SAY DICK spigot: BECAUSE I MEANT UH deuce: BUSTED

spigot: LET'S GO AROUND AND GIVE A QUICK UPDATE ABOUT WHERE WE ARE IN THE GOON CYCLE

pants: HALP

deuce: EVERYBODY QUIET WHILE I JERK

pants: THERE IS AS MUCH AMUSEMENT INSIDE FOR SPECTATORS AS PERFORMERS pants: CAN DO net: LET'S GET FAGGY deuce: CAN WE PLEASE QUIET DOWN AND RESPECT THE BONERS net: THE BONERS ALWAYS GET THEIR WAY AND I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH IT

pants: I MAKE QUIET TIMEWITH GOD A PRIORITY deuce: DO YOU SPEND ITSHOUTING "SUCK COCKS"OR NO pants: AS THE LORD INTENDED deuce: IT'S IMPORTANT YOUSHOW ME YOUR WANG(CASUALLY, WITHOUT FANFARE)

pants: quiet you guys the ranger is outside with a flashlight

pants: CAN I CHOKE IT DOWN WITHOUT CAUSING TROUBLE deuce: AS LONG AS YOU DO IT QUIETLY AND BEHIND A CURTAIN AND ONLY AFTER 5PM AND (127 MORE CONDITIONS FOLLOW) pants: BLOWING FUSES HERE

deuce: HOW CAN TWENTY YEAR OLD PROBES ARE STILL WORKING FINE deuce: BUT THE SHIT WE PUT TOGETHER NOW KEEPS BREAKING BEFORE IT GETS ANYWHERE spigot: BECAUSE THEY DON'T MAKE TAPE AND STRING LIKE THEY USED TO deuce: IT'S ALL PLASTICS NOW spigot: ALSO THE YOUNG KIDS TODAY ARE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE STONED THAN THEIR FOREFATHERS deuce: DIDN'T YOU SEE ANDROMEDA STRAIN ?!?!? AND THAT'S WHERE THE STUFF IS !!! SO NO KIDDING IT'S BROKEN spigot: HOW CAN A VIRUS THAT KILLS EVERYTHING STAY ALIVE FOR NINETY BORING MINUTES spigot: QUAKER OATS MAKES QUISP

pants: T DEUCE ALSO: DICKS deuce: HLAGLHAGLHAG deuce: T PANTS WE CAN DO THAT pants: T DEUCE QUITE CIVIL THAT WAY pants: T DEUCE TUT TUT

spigot: THE GUY IN STALL ELEVEN DOESN'T MAKE CHANGE spigot: THAT'S HIS POLICY AND HE'S QUITE FIRM ABOUT IT spigot: WHICH I CAN RESPECT spigot: ALSO NO CANADIAN COINS spigot: HE HAD A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT

pants: LARP? deuce: QUITE POSS. pants: FILK? deuce: V. LIKELY pants: JAMES CAMERON'S AVATAR? deuce: KILL ALL QUEER COCKSUCKERS

: "To be fair," one reminded the other, we are lazy." : The first one looked back. "Yes, and we are also quite stupid." : "I think the rent is still due, though," he replied. pants: HELLO COCKMONSTER pants: IF YOU ARE NOT COCKMONSTER, CLICK HERE. deuce: OKAY FAIR ENOUGH

spigot: ALL THIS TALK ABOUT BONERS HAS GIVEN ME QUITE THE BONER spigot: AND I'M QUITE THE FAGGOT spigot: OH GREAT IT'S THIS GUY atandt: T SPIGOT IF YOU NEED DIRECTIONS HOME, JUST ASK spigot: MY REFRIGERATOR ?!? atandt: PRINCE ALBERT ?!??! atandt: NOW I'M THE SAN FRANCISCO TREAT spigot: GET THE FUCK OFF MY PHONE LINE

deuce: MY BONER HAS DIED deuce: GOING TO NEED A VICTIM IMPACT STATEMENT FROM EACH OF YOU