pants: OH THESE POOR SICK COCKS: I WILL SUCK THEM BACK TO HEALTH pants: TODAY pants: YESTERDAY pants: DAY BEFORE pants: AND SO FORTH

deuce: LET'S CELEBRATE MOTHER'S DAY BY CUTTING OUR DICKS OFF

spigot: THINGS BEGINNING WITH DONGS????? THINGS THAT GO IN MY FACE???? spigot: WHERE IS THE "LINKS" SECTION/PAGE ON THIS BBS???????????????????\/ spigot: FLATTENED

spigot: MOTHERS WHO THINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: ABOUT DEFROSTING THE ICEBOX

pants: AND atandt: AUTOCONTROL IS LOCKED ON AND WE ARE COUNTING THE RETROFIRE pants: PLEASE HOLD ON TO HATS AND GLASSES pants: MOTION IS ABOUT TO OCCUR atandt: MOTION atandt: MOTION spigot: MOTION IS ABOUT TO OCCUR atandt: MOTION IS ABOUT TO OCCUR pants: WITH A LITTLE PRACTICE pants: YOU CAN DO CIRCUS TRICKS THAT WOULD MAKE AN ACROBAT TURN GREEN WITH ENVY

: PANTS STEPS FORWARD: I WILL BE GAY WITH YOU spigot: MOTION CARRIED spigot: HABLHALBHALB HALBHALBHALHB

deuce: SO THE CURRENT SCORES ARE: deuce: JERK 1, POO 1 net: I'VE GOT MONEY ON JERK pants: I TOO WILL PLACE MY LIFE SAVINGS ON JERK pants: CAN I GET ODDS ON POO? deuce: YOU ARE BOTH WISE INVESTORS pants: C'MON POO net: I'VE GOT INSIDER INFORMATION

pants: A SMALL SERIES OF FARTS PFFT PFFT PFT PFT PTPTPT PFT deuce: MOTORBOAT FARTS pants: PUTT PUTT PUTT PUTT PUTTPUTTPUTTBRONK GRONK BRRRRRRRRR :FIRE: HIT A MANATEE

deuce: THIS REALLY SUCKS spigot: COCKSUCKING IN THE DATA CENTER ???!? OUTRAGOUS pants: CAN YOU SEE THE MOUSE HOLE spigot: TRY PULLING BACK spigot: WAY WAY WAY OUT pants: FOR FUCK'S SAKE WE ARE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME BALLPARK : MOUSEHOLE --> pants: AND THERE IT IS THE MOUSEHOLE LET'S ALL SHRINK DOWN AND GO INSIDE spigot: I'LL PACK THE BONG pants: ARE WE THERE YET AND IF SO ARE THERE DICKS IN THE NEW LAND pants: BE GAY WITH ME AS WE JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE BOWL spigot: ARRRRRRR pants: THANK GOD FOR ROOFIES AND HANDGUNS deuce: THIS SUCKS spigot: I'M GOING TO SOIL MYSELF AND OTHERS

hanford: NO I WILL NOT hanford: I'M NOT DOING DICK ON OR OFF CAMERA, MY LAST CHECK BOUNCED AND YOU STILL OWE ME FOR OVERTIME FROM APRIL : GENTLE READER: DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WE WILL BE SHOWING A SERIES OF INTROSPECTIVE STRIPS SOONER THAN WE HAD ORIGINALLY PLANNED. WE APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT IN THIS MATTER. YOURS, ROOT@JERKCITY.COM

spigot: JERKCITY IS PROUD TO OFFER A SMOKE, DRUG AND ALCOHOL-FREE WORKPLACE spigot: ALSO FYI WE'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D KEEP THE LIQUOR AT HOME spigot: THERE'S A TIME AND PLACE FOR KNOCKIN BOOTY, PLEASE USE DISCRETION

spigot: SO TIRED OF MOVIES THAT DON’T PASS THE KOBAYASHI MARU TEST

spigot: MOUTH LOVE deuce: ZOING pants: SPACE BONGS

pants: GIVE VICTORY A RIMJOB pants: WHY DOES SPIDER-MAN HATE AMERICA pants: BRING THE WAR BACK HOME pants: MY KINGDOM FOR A TICKLESS CLOCK pants: EVER MINDFUL pants: PREGNANT PAUSE pants: PEACE THROUGH REACH AROUNDS pants: ERECT, ENGORGED AND MORE OR LESS NOT LIMP

spigot: OKAY EVERYONE WITH MORE THAN ONE COCK IN THEIR MOUTH PLEASE SHARE WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR pants: JUST MOVE ONE OVER THANKS spigot: EVERYONE WHO'S LEGS OR ARMS ARE HANGING UNDER THE STALL OR OVER THE DOOR PLEASE MOVE CLOSER TOWARD THE CENTER pants: SUPER spigot: I KNOW THIS IS AWKWARD BUT WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE OLD WAY OF BALANCING ON THE TOILET WITH ONE PAIR OF LEGS VISIBLE UNDER THE DOOR pants: THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE

ozone: - /HOME/FTP SIMILAR TO /HOME/WEB spigot: URF MOVE TO STRIKE

pants: CONSTRUCTION CREW LESBOS 04 deuce: F pants: K-RAZY DYKES OF DISCIPLINE deuce: F pants: EXTREME FEETTWARE ?!? GOTH LESBIAN PEEPSHOWS /?!?!??! GRAMMA'S SEXY TOYS ??? @Y(Q*^ ?!?!?}}}}}} NO CARRIER deuce: F F F

deuce: [X] TRANNIES [X] TRANNIES [X] TRANNIES [X] TRANNIES

spigot: LEGS AIN'T EVEN THAT LONG pants: DANG OL' SATURATED IN DISQUIETING MOOD I TELL YOU WHAT

deuce: SISTA #10 GETS AS MANY THUMBS UP AS I CAN MUSTER IN THIS STATE OF DEHYDRATION (FROM THE JERKING YOU SEE)

pants: T DEUCE I'D JUST BACK OFF IF I WERE YOU pants: T DEUCE I'M SOME MANNER OF AMAZING MACHINE pants: T DEUCE MOVING PARTS, YOU UNDERSTAND deuce: T PANTS THEN GET BUSY

atandt: [T[R[A[P[P[P[E[D [I[N [V[T[1[0[0

deuce: T PANTS LET'S GET MSN PREMIER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: WHAT deuce: T PANTS NEVER MIND pants: T DEUCE I LICK THINGS

pants: A MONITOR DEGAUSS WILL CHEER ME UP pants: *FOOMPH* pants: AH

spigot: HOW COME WHEN I WEDGE AND STUFF PAPER INTO THE PRINTER IT DOESN'T GO OVER THE NETWORK AND RENDER DICKS ON MY SCREEN REMOTELY spigot: MORE TONER MAYBE spigot: FIRED IN MUCH THE SAME WAY I WAS FIRED LAST TIME

pants: I LIKE TO LICK THE DUST MITES RIGHT OFF THE WALL AND INTRODUCE THEM INTO MY SYSTEM IMMEDIATELY pants: SCROLLING THROUGH THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF PICTURES OF DICKS pants: LET'S GET GAY MARRIED HERE AND NOW BEFORE BZZZZZZZZZZZT TOO CLOSE TO THE FENCE

pants: MY WANG IS TOO SHORT (TUGGING, WEIGHT SET) NOTHING AND WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN deuce: BE SURE TO CURL IT AROUND A STICK AND PULL

pants: GORDON LIGHTFOOT WAS A REAL PERSON NOT A JOKE PERSONA MADE UP FOR AN SNL SKIT pants: GORDON LIGHTFOOT; SUMMERTIME DREAM pants: THIS IS 100% REAL deuce: TOTES

spigot: THE MUHHHHHHH HUHHHHHHHH spigot: MUHHHHHHHHHUHHHHHHHHHHH spigot: HUHHHHHHHHH MMMMMMMMMMMMM

deuce: MUGGY pants: YEAH, WARM HERE pants: DO YOU NEED A JPEG OR JPEGS OF ME BEATING OFF pants: CAN'T REMEMBER IF I ASKED YOU BEFORE deuce: [UNINTELLIGIBLE]

deuce: THERE IS A BLINDING FLASH. YOU HAVE BEEN KILLED IN A MULTI-MEGATON NUCLEAR EXPLOSION. deuce: ***YOU WIN*** pants: SWEET PEACEFUL SILENCE AND DARKNESS. ***HIGH SCORE***

deuce: OCCAM'S RAZOR INDICATES THAT IT IS NOT MULTIPLE HORRIBLE MONSTERS THAT RESIDE IN MY TROUSERS BUT INSTEAD JUST ONE MONSTER

pants: MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES CAN HINDER A SMALL BUSINESS LIKE YOU WOUDLN'T BELIEVE deuce: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN <I> AND </I> IS spigot: <I> ALLOCATES SOME ITALIC MEMORY AND THEN </I> RELEASES IT

deuce: OW OW OW STRAIN SQUIRRRRP OH THANK GOD IT'S DONE OW OW OW OH GOD OH GOD THERE'S A SECOND STAGE

spigot: I'D LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS PORN VIDEO spigot: IT'S GOT NO JERKOFFABLE GIRLS spigot: OR HOWEVER YOU SAY IT spigot: I DON'T KNOW ALL THE LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO

atandt: I MUST SAY THE JERKABILITY OF THIS PLACE IS QUITE HIGH spigot: YOU AND YOUR COLLEGE MUMBO-JUMBO

spigot: HEY EVERYONE MUPPETS ARE ON spigot: AND BY "MUPPETS" I MEAN FAT DICKS

spigot: WILD ZOOMS AND PANS OF GEN-X KIDS AT THE FOOD COURT????? SHOWING OFF THEIR PIERCED TONGUES AND HIGH-FIVING EACH OTHER?????? HOLDING UP CORN DOGS, LARGE DRINKS????????? deuce: ALL BEING BRUTALLY MURDERED spigot: INTERSPERSED WITH SOMBER, BLACK/WHITE SEGMENTS WHERE THEY SIT ON STEPS AND TALK ABOUT SMOKING, DRUG ABUSE deuce: GLAGLGALG MURDER MOST CHOPPY

pants: MURDER deuce: SUICIDE pants: MURDER/SUICIDE deuce: WE HAVE A WINNER

deuce: ANY POST ON LINKEDIN CONSISTING OF SOMEONE HOLDING UP A WHITEBOARD/WHITE PLACARD WITH WRITING ON IT MAKES ME FEEL SORRY FOR THEM AND ALSO MAKES ME WANT TO MURDER THEM

spigot: every time matthew mcconaughey shouts murph he should follow it up with hurf and burf

pants: HELP I'M FLOATING THROUGH SPACE LIKE CEREBUS USED TO DO ONLY WITHOUT A NARRATOR pants: THIS IS ALL QUITE DISCONCERNING pants: AM I AS HIGH AS A KITE OR AS GAY AS A BIRTHDAY CAKE

pants: OH GOD WHERE DID THE DONG-AS-FAVICON GO pants: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD pants: MUSHROOM CLOUD

pants: CLIENTS FROM HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL !!!!!!!! deuce: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOO deuce: <MUSHROOM CLOUD> deuce: THEN SILENCE, VINES OVERGROWING THE RUBBLE, WILDLIFE RETURNING

pants: [MUSIC UP AND UNDER] deuce: KA-BLAM deuce: MY DONG ARISES deuce: LIKE THE MORNING SUN OR A MUSHROOM CLOUD

spigot: GOT A BIG ERECTION / POKIN' ATCHA spigot: LICK ON THE DICK AND / FILL OUT THE CAPTCHA

deuce: NOT SURE WHAT MAKES ME MORE MAD, MUSLIM TERRORISTS OR SOFT ON DEMAND deuce: OR ALETTA OCEAN

spigot: HI I'M FARTLES deuce: MY BALLS ARE HANGING PRETTY LOW RIGHT NOW deuce: MUST BE THE HEAT

pants: /\OO/\ FLAP FLAP FLAP pants: WHOOPS SORRY WRONG PLATFORM :ows Me Millennium Edition : Windows Update : Programs > : Documents > : Settings > : Search > : Help : Run : . _ .. ... . _ . ._. ._ pants: WRONG ACCOUNT TOO HMM HLAGHLABGLABG MUST FILE BUG REPORT LAHUGHLUABGLABAG

deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN deuce: MUST GET HOME, BEAT OFF TO ACCUMULATED/NEGLECTED PORN

deuce: SELF IMMOLATION spigot: IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO BURN TO DEATH IN PUBLIC I MUST ALSO WEAR THE MOZILLA SHIRT

atandt: NUTRIENT VALUE OF SEMEN INADEQUATE atandt: MUST SEEK ALTERNATIVE FOODSTUFFS

spigot: MUST SET ALARM FOR 5AM TOILET SCRUBBING

deuce: SAY IT WITH ME: deuce: MUSTARD IS THE BEST TARD

deuce: YOU ARE OSTRACIZED FROM THE HERD pants: MUST I LIVE IN THE OUTLANDS WITH THE MUTANTS ??? OY VEY deuce: THE MU-TANTS IN THIS ISLAND EARTH WITH THE BIG HEADS pants: THEY CANNOT GET OVER THE DENCE AND DO NOT LIKE OUR TORCHES SO WE ARE SAFE FOR THE TIME BEING pants: WE SHOULD NOT HAVE KILLED WHITEY deuce: WHAT A BAD IDEA THAT WAS

spigot: MWAHAHA!!!! spigot: MY EVIL TEXT LAUGHTER MEANS I'M OBESE AND I LIKE INDUSTRIAL MUSIC spigot: MWAHAHA spigot: I HAVE SUCCESFULLY ARRANGED MY STAR WARS FIGURINES

pants: I CAN'T FEEL MY ARMS OR LEGS

spigot: WELL I GUESS YOU'RE JUST TOO COOL TO BELIEVE IN GHOSTS THAT LIVE IN GIRLS' REAR ENDS

pants: I WILL BE THE ASHLEY BABBIT OF OXYCONTIN deuce: DO I GET TO SHOOT YOU IN THE NECK pants: ONE FLOPPY TIT FALLS OUT

spigot: WHOEVER TOOK MY LIGHTSPEED PASCAL FLOPPIES FROM MY BACKPACK PLEASE RETURN THEM spigot: ALSO I NEED MY BACKPACK spigot: MY LUNCH IS IN THERE

deuce: MY BALLS ARE LUGUBRIOUS deuce: MY DICK IS EBULLIENT deuce: MY MOUTH IS A SHIBBOLETH

: SPIGOT THE BEAR AS A SMOKEY THE BEAR FIGURE DOING LECTURES AT SCHOOLS, NOT A COP DRAMA spigot: ZIPPING UP MY BEAR SUIT!! spigot: FASTENING MY BEAR HEAD!! spigot: PARTING THE CURTAINS AND STROLLING ON STAGE!!! spigot: NO IDEA WHAT NEXT, OVERALL CONSENSUS IS: THIS GAG HAS NO LEGS, NEEDS WORK

pants: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOUTH OPEN WIDE TO RECEIVE pants: TO RECEIVE UH pants: WELL spigot: GURK GLK GLK SPLK PLUP pants: TO RECEIVE DATA IS MY BEST GUESS spigot: NOT QUITE MY TEMPO

spigot: MY BIKE WAS STOLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: T SPIGOT BEAT UP A WOMAN IN RETRIBUTION

spigot: MY BONER LIES OVER THE OCEAN spigot: MY BONER LIES OVER THE SEA spigot: CALL THE ENCLAVE

spigot: HEY WHO'S THE FATTEST pants: TAKE YOUR GAS MASK EVERYWHERE spigot: (HINT: ME) pants: GROW YOUR OWN spigot: T PANTS DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT AWAY FROM MY COMPLETE FATNESS pants: PUT YOUR PAPER OUT FOR SALVAGE

spigot: A SPRINKLE OF MOZZARELLA ON THE DOG SHIT spigot: NO TOO MUCH MOZZARELLA

deuce: PISSY PANTS net: DO NOT MAKE FUN OF MY CONDITION

pants: pray with me (down here, on your knees) deuce: that's a puddle of piss pants: ignore that deuce: it'll get my corduroy pants all messy

spigot: YOUR DICK AND BALLS WILL BE MY CROSS TO BEAR

deuce: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH pants: SHUT UP pants: TODAY IS MY DAY IN COURT AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO RUIN IT pants: BUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

dick: BAILIFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: THIS COURT RULES IN FAVOR OF THE PLAINTIFF ON ACCOUNT OF HER K-RAZY TITTIES!!!!!!!!!! deuce: PLEASE REMOVE ME FROM THE COURTROOM

deuce: MY DEAD BONER (A MYSTERY) deuce: SPOILERS: YOU KILLED IT pants: BUT HOW SAID THE TOPLESS DUDE

deuce: MY DICK IS A TIME MACHINE AND MASTURBATION IS THE ON/OFF SWITCH atandt: SET SAIL FOR JESUS

spigot: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: MY DOCUMENTS :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER: :CUCUMBER:

spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: GOT A BIG ERECTION IN MY FACE / TODAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: deuce: IS THAT AFRICA BY TOTO spigot: IF IT WERE YOU'D BE SINGING ALONG spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: GOT A PENIS / POKIN' AT ME AND IT JUST WON'T GO / AWAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: deuce: YOU'D BE SUCKING ALONG

deuce: I FEEL LIKE I'VE WASTED MY WHOLE LIFE

spigot: THE BACK OF THIS TOILET IS THE LYSOL-CLEAN I CAN TRUST spigot: I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE TILE pants: I CAN SEE YOUR FACE IN THE TILE spigot: I CAN SEE MY NOSE IN THE TILE pants: WE CAN ALL SEE YOUR FACE IN THE TILE pants: NOW LET'S GET BACK TO WORK spigot: NOW I CANNOT SEE?????????

spigot: KERN MY NUTS AND PUNCH ME IN THE FONT pants: T SPIGOT PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY FAG HOMEWORK pants: T SPIGOT WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN POO AND CRAP spigot: POO INHERITS FROM CRAP deuce: PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USING THAT LANGUAGE spigot: I AM SO SORRY pants: T SPIGOT OKAY NEXT QUESTION WHAT DO I DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR

deuce: I INVOKE MY FIFTH AMENDMENT RIGHT TO CHOKE IT DOWN pants: I LOVE YOU SO

spigot: MY FIRST ERECTION EVER

spigot: I HEAR PUMPY HURDY GURDY PIPE ORGANS FROM THE TOILET AREA spigot: DID ANYONE GET MY FLYER ABOUT MY FREE TAROT READINGS IN MY CUBE spigot: HUBLULGUBHLUHBLU spigot: PUBLISHING FICTION AND POLITICAL NON-FICTION HBUHLBULUHLBLU

pants: HOW LUCKY I AM TO GROW OLD WITH MY FRIENDS spigot: MORE LIKE GROW FAT WITH YOUR FAKE FRIENDS deuce: WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET spigot: LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY HANG YOURSELF WITH ETHERNET CABLE deuce: WHO EVEN INVITED YOU HERE spigot: YOUR FACE LOOKS LIKE A CONFERENCE CALL deuce: YOU GODDAMN DUMB DONG spigot: WELCOME TO DUMB DONG WAREHOUSE EMPORIUM deuce: IF YOU GET A CHANCE YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF spigot: WHO WRITES YOUR DIALOG deuce: AMERICAN FARTBAG spigot: STAY AWAY FROM ME :NOTES: pants: :HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES: MY FRIENDS :HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES::HEART_EYES:

spigot: HOT BUTTERY COCK WILL BE MY FUCKING SNACK pants: I'M FRIGHTENED spigot: FAT AND WET

pants: I CANNOT LIFT MY GAY HEAD

spigot: ! !! ! ! JEAN-CHARLES ! ! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! spigot: MY GIRLFRIEND IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS AND YOU HAVE LITTERED THE ENTIRE SPIRAL STAIRCASE WITH BANANA PEELS ! ! ! !! ! spigot: ACTUALLY GOOD WORK TODAY, NVM

pants: LEATHER-COVERED REARVIEW MIRROR ($675) deuce: MY GOD LETS US TEST MORE NUKES THAN YOUR GOD

spigot: WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT MY HAND HAS BEEN ON YOUR LAP FOR TEN MINUTES

spigot: MY HAPPY OPEN MOUTH spigot: I SNACK FROM MORNING TILL NIGHT!!! pants: JUST CALL ME ANAL BOY pants: AND YOU'D SAY OOOHH ANAL BOY spigot: I SNACK AFTER 3PM

spigot: NOBODY IS VISITING MY BLOG deuce: YOUR WHAT spigot: MY HNOTHING spigot: ALSIDG94

spigot: CAN SOMEONE TIVO THE E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY OF ME LICKING DICK deuce: I SAW YOU ON INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO deuce: WHEN YOU TRIED TO BEAT JAMES LIPTON OFF FORCEFULLY deuce: I THOUGHT IT WAS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE spigot: HE WAS ***ASKING*** ABOUT MY ***HOBBIES***

deuce: WHERE IS EVERYBODY IN MY HOUR OF NEED deuce: GHGHLHLGHLGHG deuce: SUCKING, ETC.

spigot: MY HOUSE IS BURNING DOWN AND I HAVE TO RUN IN AND GET MY BOBA FETTS AND MY TIMECARDS pants: DON'T FORGET STATUS REPORTS pants: PRECIOUS STATUS REPORTS deuce: ALSO CHEWBACCA NEEDS SAVING (WORTH A LOT !!!!!!!!!) pants: T DEUCE ONLY IF HE COMES WITH HIS BLASTER (YES I CAN SEE YOUR DOT-T PRIVMSG) deuce: HOLY GOD WE'VE GOT TO HELP SALON ZZZZZZZ

spigot: MY JOB IS NOT TO EDUTAIN, BUT RATHER TO INFOTATE

pants: SIRS deuce: POSSESSION IS 9/10THS OF THE BATTLE (YO JOE) pants: BUT I UH pants: T DEUCE I JUST NEED YOU TO OPERATE THE PUPPET'S ARMS, GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THE HOLE deuce: FUCK YOU THIS IS **MY** LIFE

deuce: I JUST FOUND OUT SAM ELLIOTT WILL BE NARRATING MY LIFE STORY pants: GROSS

pants: NOBODY USE MY LIPSTICK WHILE I'M GONE spigot: ABSOTIVELY POSITOOTLY

spigot: WAVING spigot: I DON'T WANT MY LOVE FOR YOU TO GET IN THE WAY OF MY COCKS FOR YOU

deuce: T PANTS I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO DELIVER THE NEWS IN THESE TROUBLED TIMES deuce: BUT BEFORE WE GO ON I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING I MUST TELL YOU: deuce: YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET IT pants: YOUR LOVING????? deuce: NEVER EVER GONNA GET IT pants: I MEAN SURELY AT SOME POINT IN TIME I WILL HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET IT pants: THERE’S GOT TO BE AN UPPER BOUND OR A TIME OUT AT WHICH POINT IT SHOULD BE AVAILABLE deuce: MMMM BOP (NOPE)