spigot: YOU ARE SERIOUSLY CHOKING MY FACE WITH YOUR DONG IN SUCH A WAY THAT I MIGHT BE FORCED TO LOG OFF

spigot: LET'S ALL GET HIGH AND THEN GAY deuce: RRRRRRRRR

deuce: I GOT FORTUNE COOKIE AND MADE IN JAPAN SO WE CAN WATCH IT TOGETHER spigot: BE GAY WITH ME IN THE APRICOT ORCHARD BEHIND KAISER PERMANENTE

spigot: NOT ONLY CAN I SMOKE DOPE AFTER WORK BUT ALSO BEFORE WORK AND IN THE BATHROOM AT WORK spigot: THEN THE DOPE WEARS OFF AND I WONDER WHY I'M ALIVE deuce: WHIRRR spigot: THEN I SMOKE DOPE AGAIN AND DRAW FLOWERS, DONGS

pants: FATE HAD OTHER PLANS!!!! WROTE THE BAD WRITER deuce: THE YEAR WAS 2525

spigot: I BEAT OFF IN THE CAR WITH SAFEWAY CONDITIONER

spigot: GIDDYUP JINGLEHORSE PICK UP YOUR FEET spigot: HOLY CHRIST I'M AN ADULT GAY MALE deuce: SHUT UP

deuce: SMEARING IT pants: HAVING IT SMEARED I SUPPOSE (FOLLOWING ALONG EVEN THOUGH IT IS DARK, COLD OUT) pants: NOT REAL SURE ABOUT THIS pants: THE LANTERN WENT OUT

deuce: JERK IT MECCA-WARD deuce: (IN THE DIRECTION OF MECCA) pants: AS I HONK TO GOD

pants: I CAN'T SEE: BLINDED BY MY BONER deuce: BLINDED BECAUSE OF ITS POWER OR BECAUSE IT POKED YOUR EYES OUT OR PERHAPS IT WAS MERELY IN THE WAY OF WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO SEE: A DISTANT BONER pants: POKED

deuce: BUSTA RHYMES NEEDS TO DRINK LESS COFFEE OR SOMETHING

spigot: SERIOUSLY APPRECIATIVE OF THE WAY YOU TOOK IT IN THE FACE OVER LABOR DAY spigot: OR DO I MEAN UP THE FACE spigot: WHICHEVER

spigot: ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE'S A :POINT_RIGHT:QUEER:POINT_LEFT: PODCAST spigot: FOLLOW-UP: DO YOU DARE ME TO MAKE A SWASTIKA OUT OF HOT DOGS AND SQUIRT MUSTARD ON PEOPLE IN THE FINANCIAL DISTRICT spigot: THERE'S NO RIGHT OR WRONG [[[RUNS AWAY]]] spigot: ALEXA HIDE MY PHONE pants: GUH FAT deuce: EVERYBODY deuce: PRESENT YOUR FANNYPACKS FOR INSPECTION spigot: :NOTES: BIG THICK DICKS / FROM NOON TO SIX :NOTES: spigot: SERIOUSLY WE CLOSE AT 6PM PDT pants: :DUCK: AFLAC

spigot: IN THE INTEREST OF TRANSPARENCY, I AM COPYING AND PASTING THE TRANSCRIPT OF THAT CONVERSATION HERE: spigot: LADY, YOU ARE LITERALLY MADE OF URINAL SOAP CAKES

spigot: THE BONGS THEY ARE A-SMOKIN' / AND THESE DONGS THEY ARE A-POKIN' spigot: IN THE LAND spigot: OF THE OLD spigot: SOMETHING

spigot: CHAR *NUTS; deuce: TYPEDEF CHAR NUTS[2]; spigot: STOP SHOWING OFF

spigot: I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I DID LOTS OF HANDJOBS IN THE MILITARY spigot: SOMEONE PLEASE FIGURE OUT GLORYHOLES SO I DON'T KEEP SMOOSHING MY NOSE

spigot: DO I PUT THE PLUGIN INTO THE PLUGINS FOLDER OR SHOVE IT DIRECTLY UP MY BIG FAT ASS deuce: AND THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHEN THE COCKS COME CHIRPING THROUGH MY WINDOW spigot: I JUST CAN'T DECIDE FOR THE LOVE OF HOLY CHRIST

spigot: I BELIEVE I AM A GAY DONG IN THE SHAPE OF A PERSON deuce: T SPIGOT WE SHALL SOON TEST THAT HYPOTHESIS

pants: IF YOU'RE LISTENING TO THIS IN STEREO pants: THIS VOICE SHOULD BE IN THE LEFT EAR pants: AND THIS VOICE SHOULD BE IN THE RIGHT EAR

spigot: REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE GAY WITH EACH OTHER IN THE UPS TRUCK AND THEN IT TOOK OFF AND THE DOOR SLID SHUT AND WE WENT TO VERMONT atandt: WHATEVER

spigot: A1: COCKS IN THE FACE spigot: A2: BALLS UP THE NUTS spigot: I'M NOT GAY

pants: THE MORE WE PLAY TOGETHER THE HAPPIER WE GET deuce: IN THEORY deuce: **IN THEORY** I AM NOT A FAGGOT pants: SNACK CAKES

spigot: IN THIS CARTOONTHE FAT CATS REPRESENTPOLITICIANS !!! spigot: MEOW MEOW MEOWMEOW CHONKER MEOW spigot: NOW STICK ITIN MY MEOWTH

deuce: a crime has been committed in this very room: nobody lick a dick pants: but who hgulahuglahglhalugag who deuce: we'll hglhglaghlgh get to the glahglahglagh bottom of lghalghalgh this

dick: HONESTLY, THESE DAYS CAN YOU REALLY AFFORD *NOT* TO SUCK DICK FOR CRACK? deuce: I WILL ANSWER THAT IN THREE PARTS: 1. GLHGAHLGHLGAHLGAHLAGHLAG deuce: 2. HUBHUBHUBHUBHUBHUBHU deuce: 3. OIGREIOGYRLIGHLDBHNDFHB

pants: CAN ME AND STORE ME IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY (FAMINE, EARTHQUAKE, SOCIAL UNREST)

spigot: VI MY FACE atandt: VI ~SPIGOT/FACE atandt: RM ~SPIGOT/NUTS spigot: MKDIR DUH spigot: CD DUH spigot: LICK DICK PRICK STICK SPICK HOO BLUH DUH spigot: EXIT atandt: WHAT FINE ROUND BALLS YOU HAVE spigot: SLAP THEM

dick: T DEUCE I'M GOING TO STOP BY THE COCK SHOP ON THE WAY HOME TODAY - NEED ANYTHING ? deuce: I WOULD LIKE A COCK dick: T DEUCE CAN DO deuce: ON SECOND THOUGHT MAKE IT A COCK dick: T DEUCE WHAT SIZE/COLOR ? deuce: SURPRISE ME

atandt: HELLO DEUCE deuce: FUCK YOU

deuce: T ATANDT GIVE ME A RIDE atandt: T DEUCE HORSEY deuce: T ATANDT OKAY GIVE ME A LOLLIPOP atandt: T DEUCE SAY PLZ deuce: COCKS

deuce: I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF UNLESS ONE OF YOU GUYS FUCK ME !!!!!! spigot: CAN I HAVE YOUR PENTHOUSES deuce: BLAM spigot: THESE ARE BLACK TAILS : DEUCE FUCKS YOU EVEN FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

deuce: GLHGAHLGAHGA

deuce: LATEST COVID TEST: STILL POSITIVE spigot: PROBABLY GOT IT FROM A BEE pants: OR A DOORKNOB

deuce: BUG

deuce: IF YOU GUYS AT JERKCITY COULD DO A LITTLE LESS DICKSUCKING AND A LITTLE MORE WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO I THINK THIS WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE deuce: ON SECOND THOUGHT I WOULDN'T GET BLOWJOBS deuce: I RETRACT MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT pants: DICKSUCKING IS IMPORTANT

deuce: LOVING YOU IS EASY BECAUSE I ALREADY CAME pants: QUACK pants: QUACK deuce: BAD DUCK (SHUT UP)

deuce: [REDACTED] deuce: OH deuce: RIGHT

deuce: AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO INJECT MYSELF WITH "INSULIN" AFTER A BIG MEAL

deuce: QUACK dick: MOO deuce: T DICK YOU ARE FIRED

DEUCE: ARE WE GETTING A NUT FARM AGAIN PANTS: STILL

pants: BUNNIES LIKE DICK pants: WELL THEY SEEMED TO pants: NOW THEY'RE BURST

pants: WHO AMI pants: WHERE AM I GOING pants: OOH KOUIGN-AMANNS HROMPTH HOMPTH

spigot: BIG FAT BALLS spigot: THEY'RE REALLY IN MY FACE TODAY / THEY'RE pants: SING IT LOUD BROTHER spigot: BIG FAT BALLS deuce: COCKS spigot: IT'S TIME TO GO ON HOME pants: WAIT WAIT pants: HOLD ON

spigot: EEK deuce: YOU SCARED HIM AWAY pants: YES PEOPLE ARE FRIGHTENED OF ME AND MY WIDE MOUTH pants: WHICH BY THE WAY IS EXCELLENT FOR SHOVING CRICKETS AND OTHER FOOD INTO

pants: DID YOU KNOW THAT THE NORMAL COST FOR SUPER-VI@G-R@ IS $20, PER DOSE? WE ARE RUNNING A HOT SPECIAL!! T0DAY ITS ONLY AN AMAZING}}}}}}}}}}}} NO CARRIER

spigot: I BONKED MY HEAD

deuce: DAMN I WANNA BE YOUR LOVER deuce: T ATANDT NOT YOU atandt: T DEUCE WHEW deuce: T ATANDT COCKS

deuce: T SPIGOT YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS GIBBOUS???? SPOILERS: MY DICK pants: HIS DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INAPPROPRIATE ENTHUSIASM deuce: SHOVING

pants: T SPIGOT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR MY TALE OF INCEST AND DRUBBING AS A TEENAGE GIRL spigot: I DON'T KNOW WHAT DRUBBING IS BUT IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE MACARONI AND CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

spigot: FOLKS I DO NOT SELF-IDENTIFY WITH FRISBEE ***OR*** GOLF spigot: IF YOU INCREASE THE CONTRAST AND ZOOM IN YOU CAN REALLY SEE A MOUTH PENIS DRAWN RIGHT ON HIS FACE

pants: IS THAT THE SAME TOOTHBRUSH THAT FELL IN THE TOILET deuce: UH pants: IF SO: I WANT IN ON THE DEAL deuce: PLEASE BRING IT UP SLOWLY (IT WILL FALL IN AGAIN) pants: I CANNOT SIT HERE WHILE YOU JERK THIS DICK AND THAT DICK!!! IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE deuce: GRR FOAMING GRR

spigot: WHY CAN'T YOU SUPPORT INDIGENOUS PEOPLES WITHOUT BEATING THEM OFF deuce: BUT THEY'RE SO HANDSOME

spigot: LET'S BREAK THIS UP INTO INDIVIDUAL DISCUSSION GROUPS spigot: HUR BUH DUH HURF BLUH GURF

atandt: DANCING CAN LEAD TO FORNICATION

pants: HEY GUYS WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GO TO BIGASSMESSAGE.COM/BEAC6 deuce: BIGASSMESSAGE.COM/AD1F2

spigot: PROUD TO HAVE BOUGHT TWO PINTS OF GOURMET ICE CREAM AND A BOX OF COOKIES TOTALLING $48

deuce: I THINK OF MYSELF MORE AS AN `INFLUENCER` RATHER THAN A _THOUGHT LEADER_

deuce: T PANTS SO LET'S TALKING ABOUT MY SWELLING pants: TRINITY OR PERHAPS WISHBRINGER pants: BONGJAMMER deuce: T PANTS WAS THAT THE GERMAN VERSION OF SUSPENDED

ozone: MAESTRO 113# /USR/AMANDA/JT -U ? XC0D610 ZC0D610: UNLOADED CARTRIDGE TO ZLOT ? BUT THE FILEZ WEREN'T OPEN (CV1): UNIT 0, REVISION 3. 8543515 BYTES RECEIVED IN 10.5 SECONDS (461904 BYTES/S) WONDER WHY ALL THE 4.4 DERIVED CLIENTZ GIVE BYTES/S REWRITE NAMED IN PERL /HOME/FTP/MN (ZIMILAR TO /HOME/WEB/NM) DOMAIN NIZ.COM NOT BOUND RPC FAILURE - CLNTUDP_CREATE()(TTYQ10) [ SUN SEP 14 20:18:00 ] THE SOFTWARE INSTALLED ON THIS SYSTEM HAS EXISTING CONFLICTZ. EXIT ALLOWED BECAUZE "RULEZOVERRIDE" OPTION IS ZET. *** LINE NOT FOUND ERR CAUTION! THIZ FILE CONTAINS CRITICAL KERNEL STATS '/PCI01F,4000/IDE03/ATA00.0" 0 "ATA" HPP sunv,HPP PN SUNV.PN ROOTNEX CPU-UNIT ROOTNEX IN-UNIT DBRI SUNV.DBRID SUNV,

ozone: INIT: SINGLE USER MODE ozone: THE SYSTEM IS BEING SHUT DOWN NOW ! ! ! .(deuce): WONDERING IF I SHOULD JERK OFF NOW OR WAIT UNTIL LATER

spigot: P.S. WHEN I COME BACK I'D LIKE TO BE CALLED "G DOGG" spigot: BECAUSE i WILL HAVE JOINED A GANG spigot: T PANTS WITH SOME VERY ODD TOILET-RELATED INITIATION RITUALS spigot: HOLY CHRISTABLES I'LL BET THEY'RE NOT A GANG spigot: MAN AM I PISSED WITH JIZZY J.

deuce: YOU JUST VIOLATED MY COPYRIGHT, TRADEMARK, AND INNER EAR CANAL spigot: SEEN IT

deuce: T PANTS LET'S SMEAR OURSELVES WITH BABY OIL AND WATCH _INNERSPACE_ pants: I WAS NEVER REALLY FOND OF THAT MOVIE BUT BIG YES TO THE REST

deuce: FOR THOSE ABOUT TO SUCK / WE _______ YOU pants: NETFLIX deuce: INPUT ACCEPTED

atandt: I'M A BEE deuce: WELCOME, BEE atandt: BZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ ZZZZ atandt: ZZZZZZZ atandt: ZZZZZZZZZZ SIGH atandt: ALL RIGHT I'M A FAG deuce: WELCOME, BEE

spigot: WHY ARE HOT DOGS EIGHT TO A PACK WHEN MY ASS FITS TEN spigot: THEY SHOULD MAKE A BLACK VERSION OF DO THE RIGHT THING AND CALL IT DO THE RIGHT THANG spigot: I WILL TOO BRING A NAIL GUN TO THE MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE

ozone: EEPROM BOOT DEVICE... SD(0,0,0) deuce: INSTABONER

spigot: THESE JOURNALS WILL BRING ME A NOBEL PRIZE spigot: I'M LIKE JANE GOODALL ONLY INSTEAD OF APES, [REDACTED] spigot: IF ONLY I COULD SOMEHOW IMPLEMENT UNDO THAT NIGHT I GOT BUSTED IN THE UNIVERSITY TOILETS

deuce: I'M AN INT * deuce: DEFERENCE ME AND FIND OUT MUCH TO YOUR SURPRISE AND DISMAY THAT I'M NULL pants: WHY CAN I EVEN SET YOU TO NULL deuce: TO INDICATE THAT I POINT NOWHERE USEFUL deuce: BUT WITH THAT COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY TO NOT DEREFERENCE ME WHEN I AM NULL deuce: OR EVEN WORSE YET WHEN I AM NOT NULL BUT POINT TO INVALID MEMORY deuce: BLAH BLAH BLAH STILL TYPING EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE HAS LEFT AND THE LIGHTS ARE OFF pants: JACKOFF PLANET

spigot: WHILE SITTING ON THE ICY COLD TOILET I HEARD THE FAMILIAR JINGLE JANGLE OF UNBUCKLING BELTS AND BALLS O'ER THE WALL spigot: QUOTH THE RAVEN "I SUCK COCK PEOPLE JUST POKE IT ON OVER" spigot: I'M AN INT32

pants: DO FAGS GO TO HEAVEN deuce: NO THEY JUST DIE

pants: QUICKLY NOW PUT ON THIS DISGUISE AND MEET ME AT THE GAY BAR AT THE FAR END OF AIRPORT TERMINAL 3 JUST PAST HOMELAND SECURITY deuce: DOES THE GAY BAR HAVE A NAME pants: SUSPICIOUS PACKAGES

deuce: OPEN DOOR pants: THE DOOR IS OPEN deuce: SUCK DICK pants: THE DICK IS BEING SUCKED deuce: THIS INTERACTIVE FICTION SUCKS pants: YOU WIN! SCORE: 1/1

spigot: T PANTS IS WEDNESDAY INTERCONTINENTAL HOUSE OF PROSTITUTES DAY pants: T SPIGOT THE CALENDAR JUST SAYS CANADA DAY WITH A WINKING-EYE EMOJI

pants: HEY GUYS I GOT AN INTERNSHIP AT THE DICKSUCKING FACTORY deuce: (UNPAID) pants: WELL THE HOPE IS THIS EXPERIENCE WILL LEAD ME TO A FULL-TIME POSITION pants: NOPE JUST MORE WEIRD KNOBBY DICKS TO LICK FOR FREE

pants: INTERNET DETECTIVE AGENCY AT YOUR SERVICE MA'AM deuce: WE GET THINGS WRONG BUT WE SURE ARE ANNOYING pants: ALSO WE'RE FREE

deuce: HACKING INTO YOUR THERMOSTAT AND MAKING YOU GAY pants: I CAN TAKE IT

spigot: IT'S SORT OF AN INTERNET SOAP OPERA, WHERE USERS CAN TUNE IN EACH DAY AND SEE WHAT THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS ARE DOING spigot: PLEASE FIST ME

spigot: T PANTS ONLY INSTEAD OF DEUCE COMING OVER FOR THE SURPRISE PARTY IT'S REALLY AN INTERVENTION WHERE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND RELATIVES TELL HIM HOW CONCERNED THEY ARE THAT HE DRINKS AND COLLECTS THAT KIND OF PORN deuce: GLUG GLUG GLUG deuce: SHUT UP deuce: WHACK WHACK WHACK spigot: FAT BALLS AND WANGS

spigot: WE LOOKED IN YOUR "XXX" FOLDER AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE FILE deuce: `CREAMY CHIPOTLE QUESADILLA.PDF` deuce: PLEASE DON'T USE SPACES IN FILENAMES

deuce: LOVE deuce: SOFT AS AN EASY deuce: THUD

spigot: HONK BONK spigot: I'M A CLOWN spigot: I KNOW I ASKED YOU TO VOLUNTEER WITH THE CANNED FOOD DRIVE BUT I REALLY MEANT JUST HELP ME JERK OFF INTO A NAPKIN

deuce: I'M A PROPONENT OF CRITICAL BONEQUEST THEORY pants: C / B / T spigot: GOTTA HAVE A J / O / B IF YOU WANNA pants: GROUND MY BALLS INTO BEEF

spigot: LOOKING TO WEDGE AGILE ANAL AND EXTREME ANAL PROGRAMMING INTO ONE LINE deuce: T SPIGOT CAN'T WE WORK ANAL TEST DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT INTO EVERYTHING SOMEHOW

pants: DO YOU WANT TO JACK ME OFF INTO THE FOREVER deuce: FOR EVER AND EVER

spigot: POKING MY PRICK INTO THE PHONE BOOK AND HUMPING THE ENTIRE BAY AREA

spigot: PUSH THE PRICKS INTO YOUR FACE AND THEN INTO MINE pants: THIS DOES NOT REPRODUCE THE BUG YOU DESCRIBED (MUFFLED) spigot: TRYING TO SHARE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL

spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO... MY WANG

pants: LAHGLIAHGLHALGHALG HALGHALGHLAH GALHGLAGHAG pants: AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT pants: ANY QUESTIONS

pants: READY??? spigot: OKAY I'LL START spigot: DICKS ON FIRST spigot: BALLS ON SECOND pants: WHO IS WINNING spigot: YOUR FAT FACE ON THIRD pants: THIS IS CONFUSING spigot: SERIOUS VAUDEVILLE HERE IN TOILET FOUR pants: ALL THESE LIFE CHOICES pants: I WISH I HAD SPENT MORE TIME SITTING IN JUNIOR COLLEGE COURSES spigot: THERE REALLY AREN'T ANY WINNERS OR LOSERS spigot: MY COMEDY WOULD BE BETTER IF I HADN'T GOTTEN A D IN INTRO TO FACEPAINT

pants: OH I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE pants: HI I'M PANTS FROM JERKCITY

pants: I'M A BIG GAY FISH deuce: HELLO, BIG GAY FISH

pants: COCKSUCKER deuce: COCKSUCKER spigot: COCKSUCKER AND DIGITAL CONTENT CREATOR

deuce: YEAH deuce: FUCK YEAH

deuce: I HAD A DREAM THERE WAS AN ALIEN INVASION deuce: AND THEY WERE BRAINWASHING PEOPLE deuce: AND THEY TRIED TO BRAINWASH ME deuce: BUT I TRICKED THEM, AND THEY FIGURED IT OUT, AND TRIED TO BRAINWASH ME AGAIN spigot: NOW REPLACE "ALIEN" WITH "BLACK PERSON" AND SEE HOW THAT'S NOT COOL

deuce: I SUGGEST WE INVESTIGATE TRANSFORMING BONEQUEST INTO MORE OF A CAAS (COCKS AS A SERVICE) MODEL pants: BACKED BY THE DICKS GEM

spigot: INVESTIGATIVE REPUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PANTS DOWN spigot: SPREADING MY CHEEKS spigot: LBHLAHBLAHBLABH LIKE A PAC MAN

deuce: WHAT ARE YOU DOING GOOD SIR pants: UH NOTHING pants: EATING FRUIT AND MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS pants: PRACTICING LINES FOR A PLAY pants: PRETENDING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK TO SEE WHAT MY FRIENDS WILL DO pants: TOUCHING MYSELF THROUGH MY JEANS pants: SWATTING AT AN INVISIBLE BEE deuce: OH GOD OH GOD IT'S NOT INVISIBLE