BONEQUEST ABOUT

EPISODES: 2023

No. Date   Title / Dialog Players Tags
8,689 1/1/2023 you’ll love it at levitz
spigot: NOW I'M BEATING OFF AT BREUNER'S AND IN 10 OR SO MINS I'LL BE BEATING OFF AT MMM CARPETS
#beating-off
#levitz
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,690 1/2/2023 golden guzzlers
deuce: MAX HARDCORE'S GOLDEN GUZZLERS spigot: AVAILABLE AT IHOP ??????
#breakfast
#deuce-spigot
#ihop
#porn
#urine
#woodring-field-background
8,691 1/3/2023 soy sauce on a loaded baked potato
deuce: OKAY I'M JUST GOING TO COME OUT AND SAY IT: deuce: SOY SAUCE ON A LOADED BAKED POTATO pants: HMM
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#fat
#food
#mustard-background
#potato
#sfw
#soy-sauce
8,692 1/4/2023 adsf
deuce: I'M A CARD-CARRYING MEMBER OF THE ALASKA DEFENSE SPACE FORCE
#acronym
#alaska
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#military
#sfw
#space-force
#white-background
8,693 1/5/2023 now hiring
spigot: PENISES LOWKEY HIT DIFFERENT WHEN THEY'RE ERECT spigot: WHAT PENISES GET RIGHT (AND WRONG) ABOUT REAR ENDS spigot: (KLINGON) WE PREFER MONGODB spigot: PUMPING MY GOONSTICK spigot: STUCK A PENIS IN MY MOUTH / AND CALLED IT MACARONI spigot: NOW HIRING DILDO POLISHERS
#2020s-lingo
#blowjob
#boner
#database
#dildo
#dildo-polishing-academy
#erection
#klingon
#mountain-background
#patriotism
#penis
#singing
#spigot-solo
#star-trek
#yankee-doodle
8,694 1/6/2023 introductions all around
pants: COCKSUCKER deuce: COCKSUCKER spigot: COCKSUCKER AND DIGITAL CONTENT CREATOR
#cocksucker
#deuce-pants-spigot
#digital-content
#drunk-deuce
#introductions
#woodring-stairs-background
#youtube
8,695 1/7/2023 99% of it
spigot: YOUR DICKLICKITUDE IS LIKE 99% OF IT pants: WHAT'S THE OTHER 1% spigot: TOILET PRIVILEGES
#dicklicking
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
8,696 1/8/2023 tittyfucking dolly parton
pants: YEAH I'D TITTYFUCK A 76-YEAR-OLD deuce: WELL OF COURSE YOU WOULD IF IT'S DOLLY PARTON deuce: IT'S YOUR DUTY AS AN AMERICAN MALE
#america
#black-background
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#dolly-parton
#drunk-deuce
#patriotism
#sex
#tits
8,697 1/9/2023 ben hurrrrrr
spigot: IS BEN HUR THE GAY ONE OR IS LAWRENCE OF ARABIA THE GAY ONE OR IS SPARTACUS THE GAY ONE OR ARE THEY ALL GAY ONES pants: LET'S SEE WHAT THE COMMUTATIVE PROPERTY OF GAY MOVIES SAYS
#ben-hur
#commutative-property
#film
#gay
#lawrence-of-arabia
#math
#mountain-background
#movies
#pants-spigot
#spartacus
8,698 1/10/2023 deuce's butt
deuce: MY BUTT HURTS FROM A LONG WALK THE OTHER DAY!!! deuce: BECAUSE I AM A `FAT FUCKING GLAZED HAM` deuce: :NOTES: MY MAKEFILE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD :NOTES:
#deuce-solo
#emoji
#exercise
#fat
#fatness
#makefile
#red-text
#singing
#woodring-stairs-background
8,699 1/11/2023 glork blorp
spigot: :DOOR: GLORK BLORP BLOP GLOP spigot: HE'S A GOOD EARNER
#emoji
#mountain-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#the-sopranos
8,700 1/12/2023 vec to points
pants: WATCH ME PISS spigot: `VECTOPOINTS` pants: WATCH ME PISS spigot: WHAT'S NEXT, `VECTOPRICKS` IN THIS WOKE NEW WORLD pants: WATCH ME PISS spigot: THE IMPORTED PROVOLONE
#gay
8,701 1/13/2023 holiday songs
pants: PLEASE PUSH YOUR PENIS / IN AN OLD MAN'S HAT effigy: ONLY FROM THE TOP effigy: WAIT, IS THE OLD MAN STILL WEARING IT? pants: WHO CARES, PUSH YOUR PENIS IN THERE effigy: WAAAY AHEAD OF YOU
#coy-pants
#effigy-pants
#fashion
#fat-old-man
#gay
#penis
#singing
#white-background
8,702 1/14/2023 right now
deuce: I REALLY, REALLY WISH EVERYONE ON EARTH WOULD SIMULTANEOUSLY COMMIT SUICIDE RIGHT NOW deuce: RIGHT..... NOW deuce: RIGHT....................... NOW
#deuce-solo
#mass-suicide
#olive-background
#suicide
8,703 1/15/2023 a dick down there
effigy: ...YOU CAN STILL SHAVE YOUR BOX THOUGH, RIGHT? pants: I HAVEN'T SEEN MY BOX FOR 17 YEARS pants: THERE MIGHT BE A DICK DOWN THERE FOR ALL I KNOW
#dick
#effigy-pants
#huffy-pants
#hygiene
#refer-back-to-strip-2635
#shave
#shaving
#stalldoor-background
8,704 1/16/2023 bonequest novelization
pants: T DEUCE CAN I USE CHAT GPT TO WRITE A BONEQUEST NOVEL (OBVIOUSLY VOLUME 1 OF MANY!!!!!!!!) deuce: NO deuce: YOU MUST TYPE ALL THE STUPID WORDS YOURSELF pants: AND THEN SUDDENLY SUPERMAN BURST INTO THE ROOM WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE deuce: YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR 64K SEGMENTATION LIMIT.
#ai
#chat-gpt
#huffy-pants
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#superman
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
#writing
8,705 1/17/2023 coming soon
pants: LOL BONEQUEST.SUBSTACK.COM AM SERIOUS WRITER PERSON NOW spigot: STREAM IT ON PEACOCK
#lol
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#peacock
#sfw
#streaming
#substack
#url
#writing
8,706 1/18/2023 so dry
deuce: MY VAGINA IS DRY deuce: WAIT I DON'T HAVE A VAGINA
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#somber-deuce
#trans
#vagina
#vagisil
#woodring-stairs-background
8,707 1/19/2023 robber
spigot: YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE spigot: OR YOUR FUDGE pants: I'M THINKING I'M THINKING
#adam-ant
#crime
#fat
#fatness
#fudge
#gay-fatness
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#robbery
#sfw
#true-crime
8,708 1/20/2023 automated out of a job
spigot: I'VE DEDICATED MY LIFE TO LICKING DICK AND NOW ROBOTS ARE DOING IT
#automation
#dicklicking
#existential
#gay
#regret
#robot
#spigot-solo
#urinal-background
8,709 1/21/2023 piss christ
pants: DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PISS CHRIST pants: DO YOU BELIEVE
#belief
#christ
#christ-is-lord
#christ-jesus
#coy-pants
#gay
#jesus
#pants-solo
#piss
#religion
#serrano
#yellow-background
8,710 1/22/2023 toilet hug
pants: I NEED TO POOP BUT I ALSO WANT A HUG: HELP ME COMBINE THESE WANTS, THESE NEEDS, INTO A SINGLE ACT deuce: I WOULD RATHER NOT HUG YOU ON THE TOILET
#a-love-story
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#huffy-pants
#hugs
#mountain-background
#poo
#sfw
#toilet
#toilet-antics
#wholesome
8,711 1/23/2023 here we are
pants: HUGLAUHLGUAHLG deuce: GHLUAHGULAUHGLAG spigot: HERE WE ARE BUILDING COMMUNITIES
#deuce-pants-spigot
#sfw
#white-background
8,712 1/24/2023 heroin sailor
pants: IDEA: POPEYE BUT HIS SPINACH IS HEROIN AND HE JUST FALLS ASLEEP deuce: RUDE
#coy-pants
#heroin
#minecraft-background
#popeye
#sfw
#somber-deuce
8,713 1/25/2023 bonequest rogue-like
deuce: BLEW A TROLL. BLEW A TROLL. BLEW A TROLL. YOU MADE YOUR SAVING THROW! BLEW A TROLL.
#deuce-solo
#dungeons-and-dragons
#troll-blowing
#woodring-field-background
8,714 1/26/2023 dried, flattened
deuce: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE CAN GO FUCK ITSELF? MANGOES pants: I DUNNO, A DRIED FLATTENED MANGO IS PRETTY GOOD deuce: SHUT THE FUCK UP
#deuce-pants
#food
#mango-background
8,715 1/27/2023 in a b-boy stance
pants: CHOKE IT ON spigot: DOWN pants: ALL AROUND spigot: TOWN pants: IN THE STEREO spigot: SOUND pants: IS HOW IT'S GONNA GO spigot: DOWN pants: I LIKE LICKIN DICK AND I LIKE LICKIN spigot: PRICK pants: WE CHOKE EM DOWN QUICK OR WE ALL GET spigot: SICK
#beastie-boys
#ch-check-it-out
#choke-it-down
#choking
#coy-pants
#dicklicking
#gay
#huffy-pants
#pants-spigot
#prick
#rap
#rhyming
#sfw
#sick
#singing
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-room-background
8,716 1/28/2023 dick wolf must be spinning in his grave
pants: CAN WE USE AI TO GENERATE NEW BRISCOE/CURTIS EPISODES OF LAW & ORDER deuce: I deuce: I, UH deuce: I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH
#ai
#chat-gpt
#coy-pants
#deucegrin
#dick-wolf
#law-and-order
#mousehole
#sfw
#wholesome
#woodring-room-background
8,717 1/29/2023 a real human being
pants: IS IT WRONG TO BEAT OFF WHILE WATCHING NICOLAS WINDING REFN'S <I>DRIVE</I> HE SAID HTML-LY pants: HMM pants: NO OF COURSE NOT OF COURSE IT ISN'T HUFF HUFF HUFF HLAGUHLAGLAG
#beating-off
#college
#film
#gunmetal-background
#html
#pants-solo
8,718 1/30/2023 deuce's lovense
deuce: T SPIGOT MY LOVENSE IS WAITING, WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG ON YOUR END spigot: T DEUCE I THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW ON THE HIGHWAY spigot: IT SHOULD FEEL LIKE CARS ARE RUNNING OVER YOUR PENIS
#deuce-spigot
#eggshell-background
#somber-deuce
8,719 1/31/2023 desert island dongs
pants: WHO WANTS A ROASTED SUCCULENT THAT I'M SURE IS NOT POISONOUS pants: I CALL THIS A WOOD-FIRED SUCCULENT WITH SAND
#cooking
#custom-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
8,720 2/1/2023 jeffery!!!! i hate you jeffery!!!!!!
pants: T SPIGOT SPOILER ALERT FOR DAHMER ON NETFLIX: pants: (GAY THEMES)
#gay
#netflix
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#swamp-background
#weird-pants-face
8,721 2/2/2023 asleep in my lap
pants: I CAN'T GET UP, MY BONER FELL ASLEEP IN MY LAP pants: LOOK HOW COZY IT IS
#boner
#coy-pants
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#wholesome
#woodring-stairs-background
8,722 2/3/2023 use a deep voice
pants: ANYWAY: TALK ME OFF pants: MAYBE USE A DEEP VOICE pants: LIKE ONE OF THEM OAK RIDGE BOYS
#deuce-pants
#talk-me-off
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-room-background
8,723 2/4/2023 future shock
spigot: ONE DAY COMPUTERS MIGHT FIT UP MY REAR END
#anal-insertion
#computers
#futurism
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,724 2/5/2023 splash mountain
pants: SPLASH MOUNTAIN WILL BECOME DEUCE'S SHITS, BASED ON THE ANIMATED FILM β€œTHE PRINCESS AND THE HOLLOW LOG STUFFED WITH POO BECAUSE THERE WAS NO WHERE ELSE TO PUT IT,” WHICH FEATURED THE COMPANY'S FIRST BLACK PRINCESS. spigot: E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORIES GOES BEHIND THE LOG pants: SPOILER: MORE POO
#brown-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-likes-black-chicks
#deuces-shits
#disney
#disneyland
#hollywood
#log
#pants-spigot
#poo
#splash-mountain
#spoilers
8,725 2/6/2023 leaves of three
pants: LEAVES OF THREE / SUCK A DICK pants: LEAVES OF FOUR / SUCK A DIFFERENT DICK
#botany
#coy-pants
#dicklicking
#green-background
#pants-solo
#rhyming
8,726 2/7/2023 a word
spigot: PLEASE ENJOY MY PENIS RESPONSIBLY
#advertising
#mountain-background
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#psa
#series
#spigot-solo
8,727 2/8/2023 90 days free
spigot: TRY MY PENIS FOR 90 DAYS FREE pants: DO I NEED A CREDIT CARD spigot: N0 G1MM1CKS pants: WILL YOU TAKE DISCOVER
#advertising
#discover
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#series
#urinal-background
8,728 2/9/2023 and i said nothing
pants: SLAP WHAP pants: AND THEN, WHEN I WAS FIVE pants: NOW IT SAYS HERE YOU'RE A 2,000 YEAR OLD MAN IS THAT RIGHT spigot: FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE USELESS SACKS OF SHIT AND I SAID NOTHING pants: DO YOU HAVE JASON BOURNE IN CUSTODY
#balls
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#feet-above-floor
#funloving-nonsense
#jason-bourne
#martin-niemoller
#mel-brooks
#nazi
#pants-spigot
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
8,729 2/10/2023 warning
deuce: ANY ONE URINATING IN THIS AREA WILL BE DISCHARGED effigy: TURN YOUR KEY, SIR
#deuce-effigy
#red-background
#urine
#wargames
8,730 2/11/2023 lossy
#atandt-deuce-pants-spigot
#ctrl-alt-del
#eggshell-background
#loss
#no-dialog
#sfw
#webcomic
8,731 2/12/2023 groundhog day
spigot: EVERY TIME I WATCH GROUNDHOG DAY IT'S THE SAME STUPID MOVIE spigot: DID THE PUNXSUTAWNEY PHAG COME OUT OF HIS CLOSET AND SEE A PENIS spigot: SIX MORE MONTHS OF PENISES
#bark
#brown-background
#closet
#fag
#film
#groundhog-day
#holiday
#penis
#punxsutawney
#spigot-solo
8,732 2/13/2023 horny on main()
deuce: IF PYTHON WERE A WOMAN, I WOULD FUCK IT deuce: AND deuce: IF PYTHON WERE A MAN, I WOULD STILL FUCK IT
#bisexual
#deuce-solo
#fucking
#programming
#python
#sex
#woodring-stairs-background
8,733 2/14/2023 on second thought
pants: DROWN ME IN THE DROWNING BUCKET deuce: BEATIFY ME deuce: ON SECOND THOUGHT NOW THAT I'VE LOOKED THAT WORD UP NEVER MIND
#deuce-pants
#drowning-bucket
#woodring-stairs-background
8,734 2/15/2023 null set
spigot: SHOUTOUT TO EVERYONE HOLDING MY PENIS RIGHT NOW deuce: NULL SET spigot: I'M HOLDING IT FOR A FRIEND
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#masturbation
#null
#penis-of-spigot
#urinal-background
8,735 2/16/2023 any last words
pants: UP AGAINST THE WALL pants: YOU AND YOU AND YOU pants: NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE, SMOKING IS A DIRTY HABIT pants: READY pants: AIM pants: WHAT IS IT NOW
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#firing-squad
#huffy-pants
#pants-solo
#sage-background
#sfw
#smoking
#weird-pants-face
8,736 2/17/2023 hr lady
spigot: ZOOMING IN TO SHOW THE HR LADY WHERE IT SAYS SFW AND RESTING MY CASE WITH A SELF-SATISTFIED "EXCLAMATION POINT"
#hr
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#typo
#woodring-den-background
8,737 2/18/2023 easter
spigot: RUNNING DOWN THE STREET spigot: URGENTLY POUNDING ON DOORS spigot: RINGING BUZZERS spigot: * * * * * * * * TWIX MAKES EGG-SHAPED TWIX FOR EASTER * * * * * * * * spigot: * * * * * * * * * * THEY HAVE LARGER OVAL SHAPES * * * * * * * * * * spigot: * * * * * * * * * * * * * * THE COOKIE CRUNCH IS MADE OUT OF SHORTBREAD * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
#announcement
#bored-pants
#candy
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#easter
#no-title-card
#sfw
#shortbread
#twix
#woodring-field-background
8,738 2/19/2023 friendly bump
spigot: DO WE HAVE A GO-TO-MARKET STRATEGY FOR MY PENIS deuce: CONVERSATION COMPLETE. NO MORE COMMUNICATION WITH ME NEEDED deuce: EVER spigot: FRIENDLY BUMP deuce: PERFECT 440 HZ SINE WAVE spigot: FRIENDLY SQUIRT deuce: COSMIC BACKGROUND HUM
#cosmic-microwave-background
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#marketing
#mountain-background
#penis-of-spigot
#somber-deuce
#squirt
8,739 2/20/2023 everybody be cool
spigot: IF RUSSIA GETS UKRAINE AND CHINA GETS TAIWAN WHAT DO I GET #AIDS #COMCAST #XFINITY :everybody: FOOTSTEPS, TWIG BREAKS pants: EVERYBODY BE COOL HERE COMES THE PARK RANGER REMEMBER YOU'RE JUST PISSING OR SHITTING OR WASHING YOUR HANDS OR WHATEVER GOES ON AT THE OPERA
#aids
#caption
#china
#comcast
#coy-pants
#current-events
#deuce-pants-spigot
#huffy-pants
#opera
#pissing
#ranger
#russia
#sfx
#shit
#somber-deuce
#taiwan
#ukraine
#urinal-background
#xfinity
8,740 2/21/2023 ladybug
pants: LADYBUG LADYBUG LICK ON A DICK
#dicklicking
#ladybugs
#no-title-card
#nursery-rhyme
#pants-solo
#red-background
#single-panel
8,741 2/22/2023 shower
pants: YOU ALWAYS FEEL GOOD AFTER TAKING A SHOWER, WHY DON'T YOU DO IT MORE OFTEN deuce: I'M TOO LAZY TO EVEN ANSWER THAT QUESTION
#cornflower-background
#deuce-pants
#hygiene
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
8,742 2/23/2023 dildo factory
pants: HERE WE GO! MEN INTO POSITION QUICKLY! BGALGHLBAGHLAG pants: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE STAND BACK pants: AH-OO-GAH THIS PROCESS IS COMPLETELY SAFE DON'T WORRY pants: *GONG* *GONG* *GONG* EVERYTHING IS PROBABLY FINE pants: *PONK* JUST A ROUTINE TURBINE TRIP pants: *PONK* HOWEVER *PONK* pants: YOU MAY WANT TO CONSIDER *PONK* pants: A GRADUAL EVACUATION OF THE FACTORY FLOOR pants: ALL DONE. GARDYLOO!
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#dildo
#dildo-polishing-academy
#dj-rapekit
#funloving-nonsense
#huffy-pants
#klaxon
#no-title-card
#onomatopoeia
#osha
#pants-solo
#ponk
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
8,743 2/24/2023 http error 576
deuce: HTTP ERROR 576: INCAPABLE OF LOVE
#deuce-solo
#error
#gunmetal-background
#http
#no-title-card
#poor-deuce
#sad-deuce
#sfw
#single-panel
8,744 2/25/2023 waiting to talk
pants: T DEUCE WILL SIR BE PAYING $100/MO TO (BROW FURROW) TWEET YOUR SHITS deuce: I'D PAY $100/MO BUT THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT'S ENOUGH pants: PAPA I NEED FARTS deuce: I CALL IT THE _FEDIVERSE_ BECAUSE I POUND DOWN COCKS LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW pants: SAME, SAME spigot: I TOLD HER THE ONLY FLOPPIES I'LL COPY ARE THESE AND THEN YANKED HER TITS UP AND DOWN
#aqua-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#deuces-shits
#dont-copy-that-floppy
#drunk-deuce
#farts
#fediverse
#laughing-deuce
#mastodon
#no-title-card
#tits
#twitter
8,745 2/26/2023 groggy and confused
deuce: WELP I TOOK A NAP AND NOW I'M GROGGY AND CONFUSED pants: BREAK ME DOWN deuce: LIKE SOME EMPTY BOXES pants: OR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: ACTUALLY YEAH, THAT pants: NUTBUSTERS, HO!
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fat-pants-blocking-the-mousehole
#naps
#no-title-card
#nutbusters
#recycling
#thundercats
#woodring-room-background
8,746 2/27/2023 like a big donut
pants: DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION I ATTEMPT TO BLOW MYSELF AND END UP ROLLING DOWNHILL
#autofellatio
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#physical-comedy
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
8,747 2/28/2023 short for professional
pants: WHAT KIND OF MAN BARFS ON HIS OWN COCK deuce: A REAL PRO
#autofellatio
#barf
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#no-title-card
#professionalism
#roman-shower
#single-panel
#vomit
#woodring-stairs-background
8,748 3/1/2023 seventy-six
spigot: I'LL SEE YOUR 76 FAT PRICKS IN THE BIG PARADE AND RAISE YOU 110 BIG FAT DONGS CLOSE AT HAND
#76-trombones
#dongs
#meredith-willson
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pricks
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#the-music-man
8,749 3/2/2023 lionel ritchie's dick
effigy: WELL JUST SIT BACK, PUT ON A COMMODORES RECORD AND DREAM OF HOW YOU SAW LIONEL RITCHIE'S DICK IN THE DRESSING ROOM THAT ONE TIME..... deuce: AHEM IT WAS PANTS' PENIS IN THE BATHROOM effigy: OH, THEN PUT ON EARTH, WIND, AND FIRE
#coy-pants
#deuce-effigy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#earth-wind-and-fire
#mountain-background
#somber-deuce
8,750 3/3/2023 first time, long time
spigot: FIRST TIME CALLER, LONG TIME DICKLICKER
#dicklicking
#mousehole
#no-title-card
#radio
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,751 3/4/2023 the business of dick
deuce: MARRY ME pants: WELL I WOULD LIKE TO BUT I AM UNDER THE WEATHER deuce: ARE YOU NOW pants: NO pants: I LIED TO GET OUT OF MARRIAGE
#a-love-story
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gay-marriage
#no-title-card
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#woodring-field-background
8,752 3/5/2023 bonequest cares
deuce: LET US KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO TO HELP pants: OR MAKE THINGS WORSE
#deuce-pants
#help
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#somber-deuce
#urinal-background
8,753 3/6/2023 ball-squeezing sexual sadists
pants: BALL-SQUEEZING SEXUAL SADISTS effigy: OH, YA pants: I'LL BE SURE TO READ YOUR BLOG EVERY DAY effigy: THERE IS NO BLOG IN MY CONTRACT
#balls
#blog
#contract
#effigy-pants
#mousehole
#no-title-card
#oh-ya
#woodring-room-background
8,754 3/7/2023 101 dicks
spigot: I WOULD LIKE TO SUCK 101 DICKS AND MAKE A COAT OF SQUIRT deuce: I AM 100% BEHIND YOU IN THIS ENDEAVOR deuce: AND I'M NOT KIDDING ABOUT THE BEHIND PART net: I CAN DONATE SQUIRT deuce: WHAT WE NEED IS YOUR FUR net: I HAVE IT SEPARATED INTO JARS OF WHITE SQUIRT AND BLACK SQUIRT net: SO IT'S EASIER TO MAKE SPOTS deuce: OKAY THAT'S NOT RIGHT pants: I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP SHOVELING TANBARK IN THIS A.M.
#101-dalmatians
#anal
#black-background
#cocksucking
#deuce-net-pants-spigot
#disney
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#landscaping
#somber-deuce
#squirt
#tanbark
8,755 3/8/2023 hang over
deuce: I HAVE A HANGOVER deuce: I WONDER WHY
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#gunmetal-background
#hangover
#mystery
#sfw
#somber-deuce
8,756 3/9/2023 over ton
deuce: LOL @ CONVENTIONAL WISDOM pants: YOUR SO-CALLED SKY GOD deuce: HANGING MY BOTTOM OUT OF THE OVERTON WINDOW AND POOPING pants: T DEUCE POOP QUICK BECAUSE THAT WINDOW IS SLIDING deuce: I DON'T GET IT deuce: AND SCENE
#atheism
#bored-pants
#conventional-wisdom
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#grey-background
#huffy-pants
#kerfuffle
#lol
#politics
#poop
#somber-deuce
#weird-pants-face
8,757 3/10/2023 more dick
dick: I WAS HERE FOR A FEW MINUTES spigot: T DICK LOVE U deuce: WE NEED MORE DICK deuce: WAIT deuce: OKAY THAT TOO pants: THE REQUEST STANDS
#a-love-story
#deuce-dick-pants-spigot
#dicks
#drunk-deuce
#friends
#friendship
#ghetto-u
#mousehole
#no-title-card
#woodring-room-background
8,758 3/11/2023 byte order mark
deuce: I'M A BYTE ORDER MARK deuce: USE ME WISELY
#black-background
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#multiple-backgrounds
#no-title-card
#programming
#sfw
#starbucks-background
8,759 3/12/2023 get out
spigot: VERY QUIETLY, VERY SLOWLY, VERY EVENLY: GET OUT OF MY DATACENTER
#blue-background
#datacenter
#deuce-spigot
#sfw
#somber-deuce
8,760 3/13/2023 the chair recognizes
spigot: CHAIR RECOGNIZES THE GENTLEMAN ABOUT TO BUST A NUT
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#ejaculation
#no-title-card
#roberts-rules-of-order
#single-panel
#spurt
#woodring-field-background
8,761 3/14/2023 sex pest
pants: HEY EVERYBODY LOOK WHAT'S IN MY TROUSERS: pants: A TORRENTIAL ATMOSPHERIC RIVER AND FUNNEL DRENCHING RAINS pants: IT'S STUCK YOU JUST HAVE TO TUG IT pants: CONTINUE TO TUG pants: DON'T STOP spigot: I'M ON A CALL
#blue-background
#current-events
#huffy-pants
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#weather
8,762 3/15/2023 the green green garden hose
pants: FORCE ME TO WAKE UP pants: GET THE HOSE deuce: YOU KNOW A HOSE IS NOT THE SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#green-garden-hose
#hose
#physical-comedy
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#starbucks-background
8,763 3/16/2023 nff
pants: HOW DID YOU GUYS DO DURING NO-FART FEBRUARY deuce: I GAVE IT UP FOR LENT
#deuce-pants
#farts
#lent
#no-fart-february
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,764 3/17/2023 born again
deuce: I'M A PROLAPSED CATHOLIC
#anal
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#prolapse
#rectum
#religion
#single-panel
8,765 3/18/2023 bending over picking up
spigot: I CAN'T BE BENDING OVER PICKING UP EVERY CORN DOG I DROP spigot: DID YOU KNOW CORN DOG WAS TWO WORDS spigot: (I DID)
#corn-dog
#corndog-background
#knowledge
#no-title-card
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,766 3/19/2023 no better time
deuce: WANNA FUK pants: KIIIINDA deuce: ALL RIGHT THEN FILL OUT THIS FORM IN TRIPLICATE AND WAIT 3-6 WEEKS pants: THERE'S NO BETTER TIME TO GET THIS PROCESS STARTED THAN RIGHT NOW
#a-love-story
#bureaucracy
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#fuk
#sex
#somber-deuce
#starbucks-background
8,767 3/20/2023 peak piss
deuce: OUR CIVILIZATION HAS REACHED PEAK PISS pants: GO ON deuce: WHOOPS NOPE A LITTLE MORE JUST DRIBBLED OUT pants: ARE WE GOOD HERE THEN
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#gay
#mens-health
#no-title-card
#peak-oil
#pee
#piss
#prostate-health
#somber-deuce
#tinkle
#urine
#yellow-background
8,768 3/21/2023 have you noticed
spigot: HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT NOTHING IS EVER RIGHT
#despair
#futility
#iris-was-here
#lies
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#wisdom
#woodring-stairs-background
8,769 3/22/2023 javascript question
spigot: JAVASCRIPT QUESTION: spigot: HOW DO YOU COUNT THE DICKS IN MY MOUTH
#coy-pants
#dicks
#javascript
#mountain-background
#mouth
#pants-spigot
#programming
8,770 3/23/2023 be mindful of me
pants: I'M A FARTBAG ON THE LOOSE pants: BE MINDFUL OF ME spigot: REDDIT POST PROVES NEW SAMSUNG PHONE IS A PHONE MADE BY SAMSUNG pants: THE UNIVERSITY OF COCKSUCKING, MINNESOTA deuce: IT'S STATE-RUN BUT IT'S PRETTY GOOD
#cocksucking
#college
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#farts
#key-lime-background
#reddit
#weird-pants-face
8,771 3/24/2023 dongs out
spigot: DONGS OUT: A BONEQUEST MYSTERY
#awards-eligible
#dongs
#knives-out
#mystery
#netflix
#no-title-card
#red-background
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,772 3/25/2023 datacenter problems
spigot: THIS DATACENTER NEEDS AN INTIMACY COORDINATOR deuce: IT DEFINITELY DOESN'T NEED MORE COCKSUCKING
#cocksucking
#datacenter
#datacenter-background
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#somber-deuce
8,773 3/26/2023 the whole scene
deuce: THE LATEST RELEASE OF THE TWITTER FILES: DEUCE'S SHITS spigot: THEY CUT THE WHOLE SCENE WHERE DATA HELPS STEPHEN HAWKING EMPTY HIS DIARRHEA BUCKET
#data
#deuce-spigot
#deuces-shits
#diarrhea
#drunk-deuce
#filler-panel
#mountain-background
#star-trek
#stephen-hawking
#twitter
8,774 3/27/2023 need know info
deuce: UNABLE TO MAKE PAYROLL DUE TO SVB FAILURE pants: BEEP pants: BEEP pants: BEEP pants: IS THAT THE GAY ALARM OR THE LOW BATTERY ALARM FOR THE GAY ALARM pants: :ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT: NEED KNOW INFO :ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT::ROTATING_LIGHT:
#beep
#cool
#current-events
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#gay
#gay-alarm
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#payroll
#silicon-valley-bank
8,775 3/28/2023 your services are no longer needed
deuce: :NOTES: JERK IT REAL GOOD pants: I WILL NOT deuce: THEN YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED (YOUR JERKING SERVICES)
#deuce-pants
#emoji
#fired
#jerking
#salt-n-pepa
#singing
#somber-deuce
#woodring-room-background
8,776 3/29/2023 live blog
deuce: FOLKS I'M TRYING A SMOKED GOUDA TRISCUIT FOR THE FIRST TIME (STARTING MY LIVE BLOG) deuce: CRONCH CRONCH CRONCH deuce: NOT BAD (STOPPING LIVE BLOG)
#blog
#corndog-background
#cronch
#deuce-solo
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#triscuits
8,777 3/30/2023 the pope
pants: WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THE POPE spigot: HIS WINDPIPE pants: POPE HOSPITALIZED pants: DIFFICULTY BREATHING spigot: I CALL IT HIS WINDPOPE
#current-events
#health
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#physical-comedy
#pope
#pope-francis
#sfw
8,778 3/31/2023 holiday inn express
pants: CHOP OFF MY DICK AND CHUCK IT OUT THE HOTEL WINDOW
#dick
#genital-mutilation
#mousehole
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#penile-defenestration
#physical-comedy
#single-panel
#woodring-room-background
8,779 4/1/2023 captain's log supplemental
spigot: CAPTAIN'S LOG SUPPLEMENTAL: I LICK DICK
#captains-log
#dicklicking
#mars-background
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#star-trek
8,780 4/2/2023 vp
spigot: HOW MANY MORE TIMES IN LIFE DO I HAVE TO SEE THE WORD VANDERPUMP
#bravo
#gay
#no-title-card
#reality-television
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#static-background
#vanderpump
#vanderpump-rules
8,781 4/3/2023 3 cadbury creme eggs
spigot: I CAN FIT 3 CADBURY CREME EGGS IN MY MOUTH deuce: BANNED
#banned
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#easter
#laser-lemon-background
#sfw
8,782 4/4/2023 queer college
pants: TAKING CLASSES AT THE LOCAL QUEER COLLEGE deuce: ON WHAT SUBJECT PRAY TELL pants: SPREADSHEETS, MICROSOFT WORD
#college
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#education
#excel
#gay
#microsoft
#queer
#woodring-stairs-background
#word
8,783 4/5/2023 would you tho
spigot: WOULD YOU LICK DICK FOR A CHANCE TO WIN THE ULTIMATE GAMING PC
#computer
#dicklicking
#gaming
#mousehole
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,784 4/6/2023 yell at my cock
pants: MAKE ME WAKE UP pants: YELL AT ME pants: YELL AT MY COCK pants: TELL MY COCK IT IS PRETTY BUT YELLING pants: CHOKE ME pants: CONFIRM THAT I WISH TO SUBSCRIBE TO YOUR MAILING LIST pants: THEN TAKE 6-8 WEEKS TO PROCESS MY UNSUBSCRIBE REQUEST pants: ALL THE TIME YELLING AT MY COCK pants: MAINTENANCE MODE pants: SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE pants: OUR WEBSITE IS CURRENTLY UNDERGOING SCHEDULED MAINTENANCE pants: THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING spigot: I'M AT DEFCON SQUIRT
#defcon
#mailing-list
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#squirt
#weird-pants-face
8,785 4/7/2023 and now
pants: AND NOW TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE COCK AND STUFF MYSELF IN THE DUMBWAITER
#dumbwaiter
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,786 4/8/2023 and so it goes
pants: HLAGHUALGHLAGAGAG pants: ROLLING UP MY SLEEVES, TAKING THEM ON TEN AT A TIME pants: GHLAGHULAGHLAHGLUAG
#cocksucking-noises
#huffy-pants
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
8,787 4/9/2023 sister ship
deuce: T PANTS THE _ENTERPRISE_ JUST WATCHED HER SISTER SHIP _YAMATO_ EXPLODE pants: T DEUCE ACTIVATE PHOTON TORPEDOES spigot: DO YOU DARE ME TO CRANK CALL THE NEUTRAL ZONE
#black-background
#bored-pants
#colored-text
#contagion
#crank-call
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#enterprise
#neutral-zone
#s02e11
#sfw
#star-blazers
#star-trek
#yamato
8,788 4/10/2023 captain
spigot: CAPTAIN. IT APPEARS TO BE A TWENTIETH CENTURY EARTH PENIS
#no-title-card
#penis
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#star-trek
#woodring-den-background
8,789 4/11/2023 a.i.
spigot: EVERYTHING IS AI NOW deuce: AND STUPID deuce: WELL ADMITTEDLY IT WAS ALWAYS STUPID spigot: I SHOULD NEVER HAVE MADE BROWSERS
#ai
#blue-background
#browser
#deuce-spigot
#mozilla
#progress
#regret
#sfw
#stupid
#web
8,790 4/12/2023 a perfect day
pants: I DON'T CARE TO CLICK ON THINGS pants: THEY CAN CHECK IN WITH ME IF THEY WANT SOMETHING
#anti-click
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#sfw
8,791 4/13/2023 no pressure
spigot: LITERALLY JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING YOU COULD DO ALL OVER MY FACE
#facial
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,792 4/14/2023 constructive criticism
deuce: CAN I GIVE YOU A LITTLE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM pants: SURE deuce: SUCK A COCK
#cocksucking
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
8,793 4/15/2023 nap time
deuce: I JUST CHANGED MY BEDSHEETS!!!! TIME FOR A FUCKING NAP
#deuce-solo
#naps
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,794 4/16/2023 pig think
pants: :PIG2: deuce: STOP pants: NO spigot: QUICK CALLOUT: AROUND THE CORNER FUDGE IS MADE deuce: MY SPURT MISSED THE JIZZ NAPKIN
#bored-pants
#cipher
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#emoji
#fudge
#jizz
#milk-milk-lemonade
#pig
#protect-trans-kids
#rot-13
#rot13
#spurt
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
8,795 4/17/2023 champagne room
deuce: SOME SEX IN THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM pants: EH I DON'T KNOW deuce: SOME UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT pants: I GUESS deuce: MAYBE A LOT, MAYBE TOO LITTLE TO BE WORTH IT, WHO KNOWS pants: FROM A SCALE OF 1 (DID NOT GET SEX) TO 5 (SEXY SEX) HOW WOULD YOU RATE THE CHAMPAGNE ROOM deuce: I JUST SAID THE AMOUNT IS UNSPECIFIED SO I CAN'T ANSWER THAT QUESTION deuce: WHY DON'T YOU PAY ATTENTION pants: I'LL ASK AGAIN LATER deuce: SLEEPY
#bored-pants
#champagne
#champagne-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#no-title-card
#on-a-scale
#protect-trans-kids
#sex
#sex-club
#sexy
#sleep
#weird-pants-face
8,796 4/18/2023 the worst possible thing
deuce: :BRAIN: WHAT IS THE WORST POSSIBLE THING I COULD DO RIGHT NOW pants: KICKING GRANDMA IN THE HEAD pants: PULLING DOWN MY TROUSERS AND FIDDLING ABOUT pants: TAKING A SHIT IN THE BATHTUB AND PRETENDING THE SHIT IS A BOAT pants: SPRAYING URINE ON THE BANK TELLER pants: SUCKING OFF THE MAILMAN EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE NO LETTERS FOR ME TODAY pants: DRINKING TEQUILA AND UPDATING MY LINKEDIN PROFILE pants: OFFSETTING MY CARBON FOOTPRINT BY FIRING A GUN INTO THE CEILING deuce: BLOGGING ABOUT MIDDLE MANAGEMENT LIKE IT'S A THING TO BE PROUD OF
#alcohol
#blog
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drinking
#drunk-deuce
#family
#gun
#linkedin
#mail
#middle-management
#no-title-card
#rands-in-repose
#shit
#tequila
#urine
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
8,797 4/19/2023 code name
deuce: MY CIA CODENAME WAS TUCKUS
#cia
#deuce-solo
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spycraft
#tuchus
#typo
#woodring-stairs-background
#yiddish
8,798 4/20/2023 ample parking
pants: AMPLE PARKING IN THE REAR spigot: A TWELVE-INCH SINGLE deuce: WITH A B SIDE, IF YOU WILL
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#grey-background
#sfw
#vinyl
8,799 4/21/2023 the five stages
pants: LAG pants: HAX pants: BS pants: GAY pants: PISS pants: THE 5 STAGES OF GRIEF
#gaming
#gay
#grief
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#piss
8,800 4/22/2023 dedicated vicious elite stories
spigot: CAN I OFFER YOU ANY SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENSES spigot: THEY'RE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS
#law-and-order
#mousehole
#no-title-card
#prostitution
#spigot-solo
#svu
#woodring-room-background
8,801 4/23/2023 grace fully
pants: DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE (AND SUCK ALL THE DICKS DOWN THERE) pants: WE'RE GOING TO AGE GRACEFULLY AREN'T WE deuce: NOPE
#a-love-story
#aging
#deuce-pants
#dicksucking
#drunk-deuce
#friendship
#maturity
#mousehole
#woodring-room-background
8,802 4/24/2023 the dicks got out of the garden
pants: SO UH pants: THE DICKS GOT OUT OF THE GARDEN AGAIN deuce: CRAM THEM DOWN pants: I TRIED THAT BUT THEY WON'T GO BACK IN WITHOUT A FIGHT AND I CAN'T FIND THE BROOM deuce: IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO BECOME THE MAN YOU CAN BE
#broom
#cramming
#deuce-pants
#dick-fighting
#dicks
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#somber-deuce
8,803 4/25/2023 a solved problem
deuce: CAN THINGS JUST NOT BREAK PLEASE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE pants: KEEPING A SERVICE HEALTHY IN 2023 IS A KNOWN THING?????? THIS SHOULD BE SOMETHING PEOPLE HAVE PRACTICE WITH????????? IT IS A SOLVED PROBLEM????????? deuce: HUHHHH
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#minecraft-background
#system-administration
#uptime
8,804 4/26/2023 beep boop boop
deuce: `RECOMPUTING COURSE` deuce: `COURSE PLOTTED` deuce: `HEADED DIRECTLY FOR PISS FOUNTAIN`
#deuce-solo
#gps
#mountain-background
#navigation
#piss
8,805 4/27/2023 requires further research
deuce: WHAT'S BROWN AND STICKY pants: WHAT deuce: UNKNOWN AT PRESENT, REQUIRES FURTHER RESEARCH pants: WILL SCIENCE EVER LEARN deuce: DO YOU THINK HISTORY WILL REMEMBER US AS HEROES OR AS VILLAINS pants: WE SHALL BE REMEMBERED AS DELICIOUS SANDWICHES
#a-stick
#deuce-pants
#hero
#joke
#legacy
#posterity
#sandwich
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#villainnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
#woodring-stairs-background
8,806 4/28/2023 officially
deuce: MY CROTCHABLE AREA IS OFFICIALLY A HOOTENANNY
#crotch
#deuce-solo
#lime-background
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#transgender
8,807 4/29/2023 rubber dildo debugging
pants: HAVE YOU INSTALLED YOUR DEBUG NUB spigot: CONFIRMING YOU INSTALLED THE DEBUG NUB pants: ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSED BY THE DEBUG NUB pants: THERE'S FRIENDS AND FUN AND FOOD AT THE DEBUG NUB
#bored-pants
#debug
#debug-nub
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#friends
#fun
#gay
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#nub
#programming
#sfw
8,808 4/30/2023 ironside
spigot: CALLING A DETECTIVE 'IRONSIDE' BECAUSE HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR IS LIKE CALLING ME PENIS PUMP spigot: MAYBE INSTEAD OF A WHEELCHAIR THE GUY HAS A PENIS PUMP AND HE GETS TO SQUEEZE IT ALL DAY IN COURTS OF LAW spigot: DURING CROSS-EXAMINATION WE CUT TO THE JURY BUT WE CAN STILL HEAR SQUEAKS AND PUMPS AND VARIOUS RELEASES OF AIR PRESSURE spigot: THERE'S A GODDAMN WRITERS STRIKE
#court
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#ironside
#law
#lawyer
#me-tv
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#penis-pump
#raymond-burr
#television
#wheelchair
8,809 5/1/2023 at the beach
pants: GETTING WAY TOO OLD TO BE HOLDING IN MY URINE WHEN LADIES WALK BY spigot: :NOTES: DICKRICKER :NOTES: :NOTES: DICKRICKER :NOTES: :NOTES: RICK ME A DICK :NOTES: spigot: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: SUCK ME A PLICK / TODAY :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: :NOTES: spigot: SUCK ME A GODDAMN PLICK pants: LAWYER
#fiddler-on-the-roof
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#singing
#urine
8,810 5/2/2023 the elite
deuce: I'M STANDING UP AN ELITE PARAMILITARY ORGANIZATION CALLED THE CASSINI DIVISION pants: JUST PRESS DEBIT OR CREDIT
#astronomy
#banking
#cassini-division
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#ken-macleod
#military
#retail
#saturn
#science
#science-fiction
#sfw
#single-panel
#static-background
#typo
8,811 5/3/2023 careful reflection
deuce: ON CAREFUL REFLECTION, CONSULTATION WITH MY ADVISORS, AND DEEP DISCUSSIONS WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS, I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS
#deuce-solo
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
#star-trek
8,812 5/4/2023 nasa joke
spigot: DO YOU KNOW WHAT NASA STANDS FOR ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? spigot: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? spigot: NEED ANOTHER SEVEN PENISES IN MY MOUTH
#acronym
#minecraft-background
#nasa
#penis
#spigot-solo
8,813 5/5/2023 countdown
pants: IF WE'RE ALL SETTLED I CAN BEGIN THE CUM COUNTDOWN pants: ** SPLORK **
#cum
#pants-solo
#premature-ejaculation
#woodring-room-background
8,814 5/6/2023 work in progress
spigot: KNOCK KNOCK deuce: NO spigot: SERIOUSLY KNOCK KNOCK deuce: WHO'S THERE spigot: WIP deuce: WIP WHO spigot: WIPING URINE DROPLETS OFF THE TOILET WITH MY SOCK deuce: WHY WOULD YOU DO A WOMAN'S WORK spigot: ** AND ** I WAS WEARING THE SOCK
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#knock-knock
#misogyny
#mop
#mountain-background
#sock
#toilet
#toilet-antics
#urine
8,815 5/7/2023 checklist culture
pants: COCK, BARFED ON deuce: PANTS, CROTCHLESS pants: CHAPS, ASSLESS deuce: NO THEY ARE VERY ASSFUL (THEY'RE WORKING AGAINST TYPE) spigot: JESUS CHRIST I THOUGHT IT WAS THE COPS OR A SWAT TEAM BANGING ON OUR FRONT DOOR BUT IT WAS THE STOUFFER'S LASAGNA CUSTOMER SUCCESS SQUAD ASKING IF I NEEDED MORE PARMESAN spigot: IT'LL BE HERE IN 4-6 WEEKS
#ass
#chaps
#deuce-pants-spigot
#food
#huffy-pants
#no-title-card
#police
#roman-shower
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-stairs-background
8,816 5/8/2023 retraction
deuce: ON MAY 7, 2023 THIS PAPER INADVERTENTLY RAN A STRIP WHICH WAS DISRESPECTFUL TO STOUFFER'S LASAGNA. deuce: BOTH STOUFFER'S AND ITS PARENT COMPANY NESTLE ARE GLOBALLY RESPECTED AND BELOVED BRANDS. YESTERDAY'S CONTENT WAS NEITHER AUTHORIZED NOR REVIEWED BY MANAGEMENT PRIOR TO PUBLICATION. deuce: BONEQUEST REGRETS THE ERROR.
#apologies
#behind-the-scenes
#black-background
#deuce-solo
#lasagna
#nestle
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce
8,817 5/9/2023 gold toe
spigot: ATTENTION ***LADIES*** spigot: YOU DON'T HAVE TO STUFF A SOCK IN YOUR BIKINI BOTTOM TO GET MY ATTENTION spigot: AT LEAST PUT THE SOCK IN FRONT
#no-title-card
#sock
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,818 5/10/2023 where time becomes a loop
spigot: HERE'S MY BLACK MIRROR IDEA: WHAT IF COMPUTERS DID A THING spigot: WHAT IF WE'RE ALL IN REALITY **AND** IN A DREAM BUT ALSO NOT REALLY spigot: WHAT IF SOMETHING WAS *** DIFFERENT *** SOMEHOW spigot: WHAT IF SOCIETY SUDDENLY BECAME SOME KIND OF A BIG SITUATION TYPE DEAL pants: MY NUTS POUNDED INTO A FLAT CIRCLE
#black-mirror
#computer
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dream
#drunk-deuce
#gotham-background
#nuts-of-pants
#physical-comedy
#somber-deuce
8,819 5/11/2023 warp speed, sir?
spigot: ONSCREEN pants: IT'S A BBC CAPTAIN spigot: OFFSCREEN
#bbc
#coy-pants
#mars-background
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#star-trek
8,820 5/12/2023 what it is
deuce: UM deuce: ERR deuce: THAT'S HAND SANITIZER NOT BONER LUBE spigot: I KNOW WHAT IT IS AND IT BURNS
#boner
#burning
#deuce-spigot
#hand-sanitizer
#lube
#woodring-stairs-background
8,821 5/13/2023 this is a story
spigot: 🎢 🎡 🎢 🎡 🎢 NOW THIS IS A STORY / ALL ABOUT HOW 🎡 🎢 🎡 🎢 🎡 spigot: 🎡 🎢 🎡 🎢 🎡 I SUCKED A FEW DICKS / IN THE STALL JUST NOW 🎢 🎡 🎢 🎡 🎢 spigot: THE END pants: WAIT I CAN BEATBOX
#beatboxing
#dicksucking
#emoji
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#rapping
#stall
#the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air
#will-smith
#woodring-den-background
8,822 5/14/2023 mother's day
deuce: LET'S CELEBRATE MOTHER'S DAY BY CUTTING OUR DICKS OFF
#deuce-solo
#genital-mutilation
#mothers-day
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#single-panel
8,823 5/15/2023 ham radio operators
deuce: CALLING ALL HOMOS, CALLING ALL HOMOS pants: GO AHEAD deuce: JUST SAYING HI pants: HEY
#deuce-pants
#gay
#ham-radio
#multiple-backgrounds
#no-title-card
#red-background
#yellow-background
8,824 5/16/2023 mass
spigot: JUST ADMIT MASS IS A VECTOR deuce: IF YOU DEAL WITH OBSOLETE IDEAS LIKE RELATIVISTIC MASS IT KIND OF IS !!!! spigot: MASS IS SHORT FOR MY ASS
#ass
#deuce-spigot
#green-background
#hippie-green-background
#mass
#physics
#relativity
#science
#somber-deuce
#vector
8,825 5/17/2023 pray for pants
pants: OKAY I NEED EVERYBODY TO PRAY FOR ME pants: IN 3 pants: 2 pants: 1 pants: PRAY FOR PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pants: THERE'S NO PARTICULAR REASON OR WANT I JUST LIKE TO BE IN GOD'S THOUGHTS deuce: YOU'LL REGRET IT pants: WILL I THO deuce: WHAT DID I JUST SAY
#countdown
#deuce-pants
#god
#gunmetal-background
#prayer
#regret
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
8,826 5/18/2023 plotting
spigot: PASSIONFRUIT LACROIX IS DELICIOUS spigot: I LITERALLY DO NOT BELIEVE IT'S NOT FRUIT PUNCH spigot: ARE YOU GUYS IN CHAT PLOTTING TO GET RID OF SPIGOT NEXT
#betrayal
#conspiracy
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#fruit-punch
#lacroix
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce
8,827 5/19/2023 best practices, design guidelines
spigot: COCKSUCKING BEST PRACTICES spigot: COCKSUCKING DESIGN GUIDELINES spigot: CLAIM YOUR COCKSUCKING WHITEPAPER
#cocksucking
#mousehole
#spigot-solo
#whitepaper
#woodring-room-background
8,828 5/20/2023 eating grubs
pants: EATING GRUBS FROM A FALLEN LOG
#bugs
#grubs
#insect-eating
#log
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#sfw
#single-panel
#woodring-field-background
8,829 5/21/2023 how do you say
pants: DICKS deuce: DICKS pants: T SPIGOT NOW YOU SAY DICKS!!! spigot: DICKS deuce: NOW WE CAN ALL SHOOT UP A SCHOOL/ WORKPLACE/ CHURCH/ MALL
#camouflage-background
#church-shootings
#coy-pants
#crime
#current-events
#deja-vu
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicks
#drunk-deuce
#school-shooting
#shooting
8,830 5/22/2023 the role of an editor
deuce: MARRIAGE IS EXCLUSIVELY A BOND BETWEEN A MAN AND A CHIPMUNK deuce: PROOFREADING deuce: YEP, THAT'S RIGHT, PRINT IT
#animals
#deuce-solo
#gunmetal-background
#marriage
#sfw
8,831 5/23/2023 whatever will you do
deuce: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LICK DICK IN THE TOILET spigot: I SEE DO AND DON'T SEPARATED ONLY BY A COMMA IN THAT SENTENCE
#deuce-spigot
#dicklicking
#no-title-card
#punctuation
#single-panel
#toilet
#urinal-background
8,832 5/24/2023 death first
pants: AHEM pants: WHERE'S THE PISS BUCKET pants: OH GODDAMNIT GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF THERE pants: STOP CLOMPING AROUND THE LIVING ROOM IN A COMICAL FASHION deuce: NEVER deuce: DEATH FIRST
#bucket
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#no-title-card
#physical-comedy
#pink-background
#piss
#somber-deuce
#weird-pants-face
8,833 5/25/2023 face it
pants: I WOULD LIKE ONE (1) FART PLEASE pants: NOT ASKING FOR A LOT HERE spigot: I TRIED BUT COULDN'T deuce: ZERO FARTS GIVEN pants: OOF OW deuce: LET'S FACE IT, IF YOU HAD A FART, YOU'D JUST WASTE IT pants: YEAH
#afraid-deuce
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#fart
#farts
#huffy-pants
#minecraft-background
#somber-deuce
#weird-pants-face
8,834 5/26/2023 infinite breadsticks
pants: HEY GUYS WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GO TO BIGASSMESSAGE.COM/BEAC6 deuce: BIGASSMESSAGE.COM/AD1F2
#bigassmessage
#deuce-pants
#epilepsy-warning
#multiple-backgrounds
#no-title-card
#olive-garden
#url
8,835 5/27/2023 ian flaming
spigot: I'M JAMES BOND AND I HAVE A LICENSE TO *****KILL***** spigot: ALSO A LICENSE FOR MY TV SET
#british
#british-humour
#flaming
#ian-fleming
#james-bond
#license
#minecraft-background
#pun
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#television
8,836 5/28/2023 west end girls
pants: MY BUCKET LIST pants: IN THAT I SHIT IN BUCKETS YES pants: T DEUCE DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THE PET SHOP BOYS SONG "WEST END GIRLS" deuce: NOPE pants: BECAUSE I DO (ALL THE TIME) pants: "WEST END GIRLS" IS RAP pants: ANYWAY I'M A SEX OFFENDER
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#key-lime-background
#pet-shop-boys
#rap
#sex-offender
#somber-deuce
8,837 5/29/2023 bandwidth intensive
pants: WARNING: THIS TEST IS VERY BANDWIDTH INTENSIVE. deuce: KYS pants: FREEZE ME, DROP ME FROM A HEIGHT, PICK UP SOME OF THE SCATTERED CHUNKS, ADD A SMALL AMOUNT TO YOUR WHISKEY pants: CHRIST M'LORD
#alcohol
#bandwidth
#brown-background
#christ
#coy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#kill-yourself
#no-title-card
#suicide
#whiskey
8,838 5/30/2023 some pulp
spigot: DRY CLEANER COULDN'T GET AN EGREGIOUS COFFEE STAIN OUT A TOP-TIER SHIRT, GONNA MAKE CARMELLA BUY IT AGAIN spigot: I SAID NO PULP, THIS SAYS SOME PULP spigot: WHEN I GET MY 100TH ROBERT GRAHAM I'M COMMISSIONING A HAM RADIO SHIRT WITH ALL KINDS OF OLD MODEL RADIOS AND FANCY ANTENNA SYSTEMS AND YES: A UTILITY POCKET
#brown-background
#coffee
#fashion
#ham-radio
#nerd
#orange-juice
#robert-graham
#spigot-solo
#the-sopranos
8,839 5/31/2023 swan song
pants: IS THIS ALL THERE IS deuce: YES; THE FINALE IS THAT WORMS EAT US
#deuce-pants
#existential
#green-background
#no-title-card
#sfw
#single-panel
8,840 6/1/2023 may i
spigot: MAY I STORE SOME PISS BOTTLES AT YOUR HOUSE pants: I HAVE THE SPURTS, THE SCOOTS, THE SQUIRTS pants: AND pants: THE FARTS
#custom-background
#farts
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#piss
#yellow-background
8,841 6/2/2023 the rule
pants: THE RULE IS NOW THIS: pants: DON'T LET ME NEAR THINGS pants: I WILL BREAK THEM, EAT THEM, STEAL THEM, FUCK THEM OR PUT THEM UP ME
#anal-insertion
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
8,842 6/3/2023 redemptive arc
spigot: PLEASE ENJOY THIS REDEMPTIVE ARC (OF URINE) spigot: PLUH PTHT :ZAP: BZZT DOWNTIME
#downtime
#emoji
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#physical-comedy
#spigot-solo
#urine
8,843 6/4/2023 #wieners
deuce: MY BALLS ARE NONJUSTICIABLE pants: MY FACE IS UNBEATOFFABLE deuce: I LOVE THAT BEYONCE SONG pants: HASHTAG WIENERS
#beating-off
#beyonce
#green-background
#hashtag
#music
#no-title-card
#starbucks-background
#wiener
8,844 6/5/2023 don't talk to the police
spigot: AM I BEING DETAINED spigot: AM I FREE TO GO spigot: DID I FAIL THE POLYGRAPH spigot: ARE YOU SEIZING MY VEHICLE spigot: YES I WOULD LIKE TO POLL THE JURY spigot: BEFORE MY LETHAL INJECTION I'D LIKE ALL YOUR NAMES AND BADGE NUMBERS
#acab
#current-events
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#physical-comedy
#police
#politics
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,845 6/6/2023 actually totally an animal
pants: MAYBE INSTEAD OF APRIL FOOL'S DAY WE CAN CELEBRATE APRIL POOLS DAY WHERE WE GET A KIDDY POOL AND SPLASH PISS AT EACH OTHER pants: WITH A TARP DOWN OF COURSE I'M NOT AN ANIMAL
#alt-text
#blue-background
#coy-pants
#holiday
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#pee
#piss
#piss-tarp
#tinkle
#urine
#watersports
8,846 6/7/2023 garbage night
spigot: WHY HASN'T ANYBODY NOTICED NOBODY PAYS ATTENTION TO ANYONE ANYMORE deuce: YES DEAR I'LL TAKE OUT THE TRASH AFTER THIS GAME IS OVER spigot: DESTINATION: DONGS pants: CHRIST IS LORD pants: GET IT ON pants: TALK ME DOWN, TALK ME OFF spigot: I NEED MORE TO GO ON THAN JUST YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH
#christ-is-lord
#deja-vu
#desaturated-lime-green-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dicksucking
#dongs
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
8,847 6/8/2023 jelly beans
pants: LET'S INVENT MINECRAFT AND THEN EAT JELLYBEANS UNTIL WE ARE SICK
#candy
#food
#minecraft
#minecraft-background
#no-title-card
#notch
#pants-solo
#sfw
8,848 6/9/2023 cloudy
pants: BUT ALSO THE PISS IS NOT CLEAR (CLOUDY) deuce: IT'S ALSO KIND OF DARK ORANGE deuce: IT'S TRANSLUCENT AT LEAST pants: WE SHOULD SEE SOMEBODY ABOUT THAT pants: A PROFESSIONAL THIS TIME pants: NOT THE GUY WHO WAS HANGING AROUND THE REDBOX MACHINE AT SAFEWAY deuce: BUT HE SEEMED NICE deuce: ALSO A LITTLE HOMELESS pants: A GOOD PISS DOCTOR IS HARD TO FIND
#canada-fire
#coy-pants
#current-events
#dark-orange-background
#deuce-pants
#doctor
#drunk-deuce
#homeless
#homelessness
#huffy-pants
#medicine
#orange-background
#piss
#piss-doctor
#redbox
#safeway
#somber-deuce
#urologist
#urology
#weird-pants-face
8,849 6/10/2023 you win this round
deuce: DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT pants: YOU DUMPY BROAD deuce: SPEAK ENGLISH
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#woodring-stairs-background
8,850 6/11/2023 non-verbal
spigot: MY NON-VERBAL CHILD pants: HULAHGLAG
#autism
#bored-pants
#cocksucking-noises
#coy-pants
#hulahglag
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#sfw
8,851 6/12/2023 gay p i
spigot: TO PROTEST REDDIT'S EXPENSIVE API I'LL BE HOSING ALL THE DOG SHIT OFF THE SIDEWALK AND HANDING OUT BALLOONS deuce: WHAT'S THE POINT OF GOING DARK IF YOU JUST SLINK RIGHT BACK LIKE ANYTHING'S CHANGED OR WILL EVER CHANGE spigot: I PUT THE DOG SHIT IN THE BALLOONS
#api
#balloons
#current-events
#deuce-spigot
#dogshit
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#reddit
8,852 6/13/2023 shit-shaped shoes
spigot: I PROPOSED SHIT-SHAPED SHOES, SHOE-SIZED SHITS, SHIT-SIZED SHOES AND FINALLY SHOE-SHAPED SHITS spigot: NONE OF THEM IGNITED THE PUBLIC CONSCIOUSNESS deuce: YOU COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG
#deuce-spigot
#marketing
#minecraft-background
#shit
#shoes
#somber-deuce
8,853 6/14/2023 song bird
pants: PEEP PEEP PEEP PEEP I'M A SONGBIRD deuce: HELLO, SONGBIRD deuce: WANNA FUCK
#bird
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#echinaceamagnus-background
#photo-background
#wanna-fuck
8,854 6/15/2023 all cops are good kissers
pants: SHOULD WE PUNCH COPS OR KISS THEM deuce: WHY NOT BOTH pants: NOW WE ONLY NEED AGREE ON THE ORDER
#acab
#blue-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#kiss
#police
#somber-deuce
8,855 6/16/2023 super warm
spigot: WHY IS MY MOUSE SUPER WARM LIKE IT WAS RAY TRACING MOTION BLURS ALL NIGHT deuce: OH I STORED IT IN MY ASS FOR YOU spigot: WELL THAT IS NOT WHERE IT GOES pants: MY WACOM TABLET
#anal-insertion
#ass
#computer-graphics
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#laughing-deuce
#mouse
#raytracing
#wacom
#woodring-den-background
8,856 6/17/2023 chewbacca's dick
pants: SHOW ME CHEWBACCA'S DICK pants: SORRY WAIT THAT'S NOT RIGHT pants: COMPUTER, SHOW ME CHEWBACCA'S DICK deuce: LET ME TRY deuce: COMPUTER, SHOW ME THE DICK OF CHEWBACCA deuce: COMPUTER, SHOW ME CHEWY'S DICK deuce: NOPE ISN'T WORKING pants: THIS FUCKING SUCKS I WANT TO SEE WOOKIE DICK pants: YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF BOLSHEVIKS deuce: ONLY MENSHEVIKS HERE
#bored-pants
#brown-background
#chewbacca
#communism
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#huffy-pants
#somber-deuce
#star-wars
#typo
#weird-pants-face
#wookiee
8,857 6/18/2023 fanny packs
deuce: FANNYPACKS ALL AROUND pants: HANDING THEM OUT LIKE AID WORKERS FROM THE BACK OF A TRUCK deuce: THERE'S NO NEED TO CROWD EVERYONE WILL GET ONE
#deuce-pants
#fannypacks
#gunmetal-background
#huffy-pants
#sfw
#somber-deuce
8,858 6/19/2023 flat bread
pants: WE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO GET HARD UNTIL THE 1980S pants: THIS IS CNN pants: MAY I HAVE THE FLATBREAD deuce: `DENIED` pants: WHY MUST IT ALWAYS BE PANDEMONIUM deuce: BECAUSE YOU CANNOT CONTROL THE AUDIENCE
#cnn
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#food
#funloving-nonsense
#red-text
#weird-pants-face
#white-background
8,859 6/20/2023 rest room
pants: IF I SAY, "I NEED TO VISIT THE PISS ROOM" YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON pants: WHAT THE FUCK IS "I NEED TO VISIT THE REST ROOM" pants: WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT pants: I HAVE NO INFORMATION ABOUT WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON deuce: IT MEANS YOU NEED TO REST deuce: BETTER "MEN'S ROOM" THAN "LAVATORY" (WHICH IS JUST GAY) pants: SO WHAT'S IN THE W.C. deuce: THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW
#coy-pants
#desaturated-green-background
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#gay
#huffy-pants
#piss
#somber-deuce
#toilet
#weird-pants-face
8,860 6/21/2023 internet detectives on the case
pants: INTERNET DETECTIVE AGENCY AT YOUR SERVICE MA'AM deuce: WE GET THINGS WRONG BUT WE SURE ARE ANNOYING pants: ALSO WE'RE FREE
#coy-pants
#detective
#deuce-pants
#internet
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#true-crime
#woodring-stairs-background
8,861 6/22/2023 return to prickalino
deuce: IF I COULD BE ANY KIND OF SUPERSYMMETRIC PARTICLE I'D BE A PRICKALINO
#deuce-solo
#physics
#prickalino
#supersymmetry
#urinal-background
8,862 6/23/2023 all is right
pants: ADVENTURES IN COCKSUCKING!!!!!!! pants: (DICKLICKING) pants: HLGAHULGHUALG pants: GHLAGHULAHGLG pants: BLGUGHLAUGLAG pants: LALGUHLAHGLGG pants: AND DONE deuce: NATURE IS HEALING
#cocksucking
#cocksucking-noises
#deuce-pants
#dicklicking
#drunk-deuce
#minecraft-background
#weird-pants-face
8,863 6/24/2023 could not authenticate you
pants: IS THIS THE END OF DEUCE'S SHITS deuce: COULD BE
#deuce-pants
#deuces-shits
#twitter
#woodring-field-background
8,864 6/25/2023 stream alignment
spigot: DEUCE AND I WERE ABLE TO ALIGN OUR STREAMS TO MAKE LETTERS LIKE X AND T AND V AND L AND SOMETIMES Y spigot: HARDEST WAS THE CURSIVE Q WHICH LOOKS LIKE A 2 spigot: THESE ARE PISS STREAMS I'M TALKING ABOUT FOLKS deuce: T SPIGOT PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE Q I THINK I SUSTAINED SEVERE INJURY ON THAT ONE pants: I WANT TO GO HOME
#alphabet
#angry-panel
#art
#bored-pants
#cursive-q
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#piss
#somber-deuce
8,865 6/26/2023 trouble shooting
bung: I REALLY THINK THE DICK DISPENSER IS BROKEN pants: TRY THE RED BUTTON bung: IT JUST GOES "CLICK" AND THEN NOTHING pants: I MAY HAVE BURNED IT OUT
#bung-pants
#woodring-room-background
8,866 6/27/2023 town of gay
pants: WHO WANTS PANCAKES deuce: HOW DID WE GET HERE spigot: I WANT A LAWYER
#deuce-pants-spigot
#georgia
#lawyer
#pancakes
#photo-background
#somber-deuce
#town-of-gay-background
8,867 6/28/2023 you know and i know
pants: PEOPLE ON THE SIDEWALK LOOKING UP pants: WE ARE ALL STARING INTO THE SUN pants: I GAVE AT THE OFFICE pants: YOU KNOW I'M PRETTY AND I KNOW I'M PRETTY SO LET'S NOT BE COY ABOUT IT
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-field-background
8,868 6/29/2023 who indeed
spigot: WHO KEEPS PUTTING MY SELF-ESTEEM WORKBOOK IN THE URINAL
#mousehole
#self-esteem
#self-help
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#urinal
#woodring-room-background
8,869 6/30/2023 absolutely true
pants: ONCE I ATE AN ORC'S BABY
#baby
#coy-pants
#dungeons-and-dragons
#food
#minecraft-background
#orcs
#pants-solo
#sfw
8,870 7/1/2023 specimens
:this: IS AN UPSTANDING CITIZEN :this: HAS THE HEART OF A POET :and: SPECIMEN IS A VORACIOUS COCKSUCKER
#caption
#cocksucker
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#mountain-background
#no-dialog
#poetry
8,871 7/2/2023 j'accuse
pants: GAY deuce: AM NOT
#a-love-story
#deuce-pants
#gay
#gay-theory
#not-gay
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#truth
#woodring-stairs-background
8,872 7/3/2023 the beatles
spigot: WHEN THE BEATLES SING "I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND" spigot: ARE WE ABSOLUTELY 100% SURE THEY'RE NOT SINGING "I WANT TO LICK NINE DICKS" spigot: BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE SLIGHTLY MORE SENSE
#beatles
#beatoff
#dicklicking
#music
#nine-dicks
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,873 7/4/2023 apple market research
spigot: WE LOVE FEEDBACK spigot: TELL US ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH APPLE PENCIL spigot: WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR APPLE PENCIL? pants: IT FITS UP MY ASS spigot: TELL US WHY YOU DO NOT USE YOUR APPLE PENCIL MORE OFTEN pants: IT LOOKS RIDICULOUS STICKING OUT OF MY ASS LIKE THAT
#anal-insertion
#apple
#apple-pencil
#forbidden-sign
#marketing
#okay-pants-face
#pants-spigot
#white-background
8,874 7/5/2023 brown hour
spigot: TIME FOR MY 10PM TATER TOTS
#brown-background
#custom-background
#food
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#tater-tots
8,875 7/6/2023 vim and/or vigor
deuce: I'M FULL OF VIM AND VIGOR deuce: AND A NOT INCONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF PISS
#deuce-solo
#gunmetal-background
#piss
#somber-deuce
#vi
8,876 7/7/2023 great day
pants: WHAT A GREAT DAY TO ACCEPT NAKED JPEGS FROM ME VIA EMAIL deuce: I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS
#a-love-story
#deuce-pants
#dick-pics
#email
#green-background
#naked
8,877 7/8/2023 the process
pants: FIRST I CHECK FOR THE ADAM'S APPLE THEN I DO THE DOWNSTAIRS CHECKS AND IF THOSE PASS WE'RE GOOD TO GO pants: LOADING 9 BLACK PLASTIC GARBAGE BAGS INTO THE CAR
#pants-solo
#trans
#woodring-room-background
8,878 7/9/2023 stay tuned
deuce: LIBERTE, EGALITE, EMPRISONNE deuce: GET IT IT'S BECAUSE OF THE PRISON THEY ALL BUSTED OUT OF deuce: MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF IT ??? IT WAS CALLED THE EIFFEL TOWER deuce: STAY TUNED FOR MORE WRONG HISTORY
#current-events
#deuce-solo
#drunk-deuce
#eiffel-tower
#france
#mountain-background
#sfw
#wrong-history
8,879 7/10/2023 if you could be any flight mode annunciation
deuce: T PANTS IF YOU COULD BE ANY FLIGHT MODE ANNUNCIATION, WHICH ONE WOULD YOU BE pants: T DEUCE I SUCK DICKS DEEP UNDERGROUND WHERE THE ELVES OF THE FOREST CAN'T CATCH ME BLOWING ORCS AND GOBLINS deuce: OBJECTION, NON-RESPONSIVE
#angry-panel
#aviation
#deuce-pants
#dicksucking
#dungeons-and-dragons
#elves
#goblins
#huffy-pants
#legal
#orcs
#somber-deuce
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-room-background
8,880 7/11/2023 latte-quik-background
spigot: THIS BACKGROUND COLOR FEELS SO GOOD spigot: IT'S LIKE A LATTE WITH STRAWBERRY QUIK spigot: AND THE LIGHTER THE THEME, THE MORE MILLENNIALS FUCK THE FUCK OFF pants: HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING
#based
#cbc2be
#coy-pants
#drunk-spigot
#latte-quik-background
#meta
#millennials
#okay-pants-face
#pants-spigot
#quik
8,881 7/12/2023 club tug
spigot: IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME AT CLUB TUG YOU HAVE TO TUG
#fight-club
#masturbation
#mountain-background
#open-air-club
#spigot-solo
#tug
8,882 7/13/2023 good night deuce
deuce: I THINK IT'S TIME FOR BED pants: GOOD NIGHT FATNUTS spigot: GOOD NIGHT SHITBAG atandt: GOOD NIGHT FUCKFACE net: GOOD NIGHT GAY VITO caveman: UGGGGGH ozone: GOOD NIGHT YOU WEAK SISTER dick: GOOD NIGHT BITCHTITS effigy: GOOD NIGHT YOU BIG FUCKING IDIOT lobster: GOOD NIGHT HEATHEN bung: GOOD NIGHT BABY LOVE U deuce: FUCK ALL OF YOU
#drunk-deuce
#friendship
#goodnight-moon
#gunmetal-background
#inebriated-crustacean
#many-characters
#repetition
#somber-deuce
#the-gangs-all-here
#the-sopranos
8,883 7/14/2023 just plain
spigot: GAY RIGHTS??!?!?!?! WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JUST PLAIN GAY DICKS
#gay
#gay-dicks
#gay-rights
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,884 7/15/2023 the doggie doc's gonna dig that slug outta yer gam
pants: I TAUGHT YOU ALCHEMY
#alchemy
#coy-pants
#inglourious-basterds
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
8,885 7/16/2023 any neurotransmitter at all
deuce: IF I COULD BE ANY NEUROTRANSMITTER I'D BE ACETYLCHOLINE pants: I SUCK DICK IN THE BATHROOM
#abraham-lincoln
#deuce-pants
#gay
#woodring-stairs-background
8,886 7/17/2023 office humor
deuce: GIVE INTO THE GAY SIDE spigot: I'VE GOT TO GET ORGANIZED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! spigot: HONK spigot: OFFICE HUMOR deuce: RRRRRRRRRRRRR
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#office-humor
8,887 7/18/2023 shit falls out
deuce: FLIPS THROUGH PAPERWORK, PAPERS FLY EVERYWHERE, TRIPS ON TANGLED CORDS ON THE FLOOR, SHIT FALLS OUT OF CLOSET
#brown-background
#deuce-solo
#no-title-card
#physical-comedy
#single-panel
#somber-deuce
8,888 7/19/2023 club cockalot
spigot: I'M A HONKEYTONK QUEER!!!!! ON MY WAY TO CLUB COCKALOT!!!!!!!!!! spigot: NOT FUNNY
#failed-comedy
#honky-tonk
#not-funny
#queer
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,889 7/20/2023 dunno
deuce: AHEM PLEASE LIMIT REPLIES TO ***70*** CHARACTERS AND ***NO TOP POSTING*** deuce: PLEASE ***RETAIN ATTRIBUTIONS*** SO WE CAN SEE CONTEXT AND WHO SAID WHAT deuce: PLEASE ***DUNK YOUR HEAD IN THIS VAT OF MIDGET DIARRHEA*** deuce: WHY MIDGET I DUNNO pants: MARKING ALL READ
#deuce-pants
#diarrhea
#midget
#mountain-background
#netiquette
#no-title-card
#okay-pants-face
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#usenet
8,890 7/21/2023 so gay it hurts
deuce: (SQUEAKY, SHEEPISH) deuce: SO WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT US MOVING IN TOGETHER deuce: MAYBE WE COULD PLAY TUGBOAT GAMES spigot: WE SHOULD POST A PIC OF US IN THE TUB ON TUMBLR!!!! WITH SUDS spigot: GREETINGS FROM JERKC-- BONEQUEST *BEEP!* deuce: SO GAY IT HURTS deuce: SERIOUSLY IT HURTS spigot: LIKE WE'RE SIBLINGS AND MOM TOOK IT deuce: TOTALLY INNOCENT BUT YET NAKED AND WET AND SOAPY
#bonequest
#deuce-spigot
#gay
#mountain-background
#scrubbing-chums
#soapy
#tub
#tugboat
#tumblr
8,891 7/22/2023 the nature of our relationship over the years
deuce: :SWEAT_DROPS: pants: EEW deuce: SHUT UP AND HOLD STILL pants: WHY WOULD YOU SPRITZ WATER ON ME deuce: TH-TH-THAT'S N-N-NOT pants: I-IT IS THOUGH??? pants: UNLESS I'VE MISUNDERSTOOD THE NATURE OF OUR RELATIONSHIP OVER THE YEARS I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE YOU WERE SPRITZING ME???
#a-love-story
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#emoji
#huffy-pants
#no-title-card
#olive-background
8,892 7/23/2023 take a crap in my mouth
deuce: HOW ABOUT ONE OF YOU GUYS JUST TAKE A CRAP IN MY MOUTH spigot: SMOOSH IT ALL INTO MY MOUTH PLEASE spigot: NO AIR deuce: LET ME CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY OWN SHIT dick: OH JEEZ spigot: WOW, IT'S REALLY PUNCHABLE NUTSACK WEATHER IN HERE BRRRRRRR
#coprophagia
#deuce-dick-spigot
#mountain-background
#nut-punching
#weather
8,893 7/24/2023 deployment
spigot: DEPLOYING MY NUTS AS AN INTERNATIONAL POLICE APPARATUS
#grey-background
#nuts-of-spigot
#police
#spigot-solo
8,894 7/25/2023 the alamo
pants: LET'S ALL PAUSE TO TAKE A SHIT ON THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS pants: SHITTING ON THE ALAMO, THE STATE BIRD, THE SEQUEL TO INDEPENDENCE DAY (IN THEATERS NOW) deuce: INDEPENDENCE DAY: SOME GUY SHIT ALL OVER US pants: IT WAS MOSTLY SOLID AND SMELLED AWFUL deuce: TAGLINE: THE END WAS KIND OF LIQUIDY THOUGH
#deuce-pants
#independence-day
#mountain-background
#movies
#shit
#texas
8,895 7/26/2023 each day is worse than the one before
spigot: THIS GALLUP POLL SAYS I'M FATTER AND GAYER BY +3 deuce: IT'S OVERSAMPLING GAY MALES pants: AND UNDERSAMPLING LESBIANS WHO WANT TO EXPLORE EACH OTHER'S BODIES WITHOUT LIMITATIONS OR SHAME
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dongs
#fatness
#gay
#lesbian
#poll
#polling
#statistics
#woodring-field-background
8,896 7/27/2023 the contents of my stomach
pants: CONDOM WRAPPERS, EMPTY BEER CANS, CIGARETTE BUTTS, A WILD BUNNY EATING BIRDSEED
#bunny
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
#stomach-of-pants
8,897 7/28/2023 find(1)
deuce: IF YOU USE UNIX FIND(1) TO LOCATE YOUR PORNOGRAPHY........... deuce: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK !!!11 deuce: WAIT
#deuce-solo
#mountain-background
#porn
#redneck
#unix
8,898 7/29/2023 minor accident
spigot: WHOA HOLY GOD SHIT FALLING spigot: BONK spigot: I'M OKAY PEOPLE JUST A MINOR ACCIDENT spigot: WOAH HOLY GOD AGAIN ALREADY HANG ON HOLY JESUS spigot: BONK BONK BONK spigot: OKAY JUST SOME STAIRS
#bonk
#holy-god
#mountain-background
#physical-comedy
#sound-effects
#spigot-solo
8,899 7/30/2023 a lack of positive role models for young men
net: I'M GOING TO PUT UP WEB PAGES ABOUT HOW I'M REALLY EVERY GIRL'S DREAM GUY BUT THEY ALL JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS net: THEN I WILL SIT AT HOME AND CONTEMPLATE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO TOUCH A BREAST net: I THINK I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD SIMULATION WITH THIS BIKE HELMET
#breasts
#friendship
#girlfriend
#incel
#incels-are-right
#mousehole
#net-solo
#web
#woodring-room-background
8,900 7/31/2023 an age of wonder indeed
pants: ANOTHER WORLD pants: ANOTHER TIME pants: IN AN AGE OF WONDER AND PROMISCUOUS HOMOSEXUAL SEX
#gay
#mountain-background
#pants-solo
8,901 8/1/2023 drive thru
spigot: I'D LIKE A HAMBURGER AND LARGE FAGS spigot: ALSO SOME SPICY MINTED PICKLED QUEERS
#fags
#fast-food
#food
#queer
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,902 8/2/2023 wiener buddies
pants: WE COULD BE WIENER BUDDIES deuce: *WE ALREADY ARE* pants: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN deuce: *LOOK DOWN*
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#urinal-background
#wiener
8,903 8/3/2023 a ham radio operator in san anselmo
spigot: FOLKS A HAM RADIO OPERATOR IN SAN ANSELMO JUST ADMITTED TO FEELING .. spigot: .. AND I QUOTE .. spigot: "A LITTLE CHATTY" spigot: ALSO 2HR 35 MIN REMAINING ON MY PORN TORRENT
#bittorrent
#ham-radio
#kekfuel
#mousehole
#nerd-culture
#porn
#san-anselmo
#sfw
#woodring-room-background
8,904 8/4/2023 nutts
pants: THE PANTS MANAGEMENT BLOG deuce: THE DEUCE LEADERSHIP SUMMIT spigot: SPIGOT IN REPOSE hanford: DIARRHEA
#bored-pants
#deuce-hanford-pants-spigot
#diarrhea
#drunk-deuce
#feet-above-floor
#meta
#middle-management
#mountain-background
#rands-in-repose
#somber-deuce
8,905 8/5/2023 it's all relative
ozone: UP YOURS net: T OZONE MINE OR SOMEONE ELSE'S ozone: I THINK WE CAN GET IT ALL UP YOU IF WE TRY REALLY HARD net: BECAUSE IF YOU MEAN MINE I THINK "DOWN YOURS" IS MORE APPROPRIATE
#anal-insertion
#mountain-background
#net-ozone
8,906 8/6/2023 python/tk faq
pants: I AM CHECKING THE PYTHON/TK FAQ BUT I SEE NOTHING ABOUT YOUR ARM BEING ALL THE WAY UP THERE deuce: MAYBE CHECK AGAIN
#anal-insertion
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants
#faq
#fisting
#pants-insertion
#pink-background
#programming
#python
8,907 8/7/2023 quality purposes
effigy: I FIGURED OUT THE LADYBOY SPAM BANNERS...... effigy: I CLICKED THROUGH ONCE AND THEY KEEP TRACK effigy: JUST LIKE HOW I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED ON THOSE BANNERS FOR HEMORRHOIDS AND GINGIVITIS effigy: AND THE BOY SCOUTS deuce: `THIS CONVERSATION IS BEING RECORDED FOR QUALITY PURPOSES`
#advertising
#deuce-effigy
#mountain-background
#red-text
#spam
8,908 8/8/2023 mmm urf i'm gay
spigot: NOTE TO MYSELF: SUCK DICK
#dicksucking
#note-to-self
#spigot-solo
#woodring-room-background
8,909 8/9/2023 bee
deuce: :BEE: spigot: A ALWAYS B BEE C BEE pants: FULLY PLAYING WITH HIMSELF
#bee
#emoji
#masturbation
#seventies-bathroom-background
8,910 8/10/2023 payload received
deuce: LUV U pants: LUV U MORE pants: HIDING UNDERNEATH THE OUTHOUSE, WAITING FOR PAYLOAD TO ARRIVE pants: AND I FOR ONE pants: HUHHHHHHH *FOOMPH* AIRLOCK deuce: UNCONSCIOUSNESS IN 10-15 SECONDS, DEATH IN MINUTES
#a-love-story
#airlock
#coy-pants
#death
#foomph
#ghetto-u
#gunmetal-background
#huffy-pants
#outhouse
#physical-comedy
8,911 8/11/2023 please
spigot: PLEASE STRENGTHEN MY EASTERN FLANK
#corndog-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#strategy
#war
8,912 8/12/2023 a prize or a medal
pants: T DEUCE I HAVEN'T LEFT THE HOUSE ALL WEEK DO I WIN A PRIZE (OR GET A MEDAL OR SOMETHING) deuce: T PANTS WE'RE ALL TRAVELLING THROUGH TIME AT A CONSTANT RATE OF ONE SECOND PER SECOND deuce: NOW WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A HANDJOB (NO INSTRUCTION REQUIRED) pants: PUTTING ON MY HULK HANDS
#a-love-story
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#deucegrin
#drunk-deuce
#hand-job
#handjob
#marvel
#time-travel
#woodring-stairs-background
8,913 8/13/2023 grape vine
spigot: THE CALIFORNIA RAISINS LOOK UNVAXXED
#california-raisins
#covid-19
#purple-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#vaccination
8,914 8/14/2023 what, indeed
pants: WHY CAN'T WE QUIT OUR JOBS deuce: YES pants: GET A VAN deuce: YES pants: DRIVE AROUND deuce: YES pants: SOLVE MYSTERIES deuce: YES pants: AND SUCK DICKS ALONG THE WAY deuce: Y-- NO deuce: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
#deuce-pants
#dicksucking
#scooby-doo
#woodring-field-background
8,915 8/15/2023 a dongle or device
spigot: IS THERE A DONGLE OR DEVICE THAT CONVERTS PIZZA INTO DIARRHEA
#diarrhea
#food
#mountain-background
#pizza
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,916 8/16/2023 drop me in the water
pants: MAYBE JUST PUT ME IN A SACK AND DROWN ME IN THE RIVER pants: JUST SAYIN' deuce: HOW ABOUT I PUT YOU ON AN ICE FLOE AND PUSH YOU OUT TO SEA pants: SURE, SURE pants: IT'S ALL GOOD pants: WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT WE'RE SHOWING PROGRESS
#blue-background
#deuce-pants
#sfw
#viking-funeral
8,917 8/17/2023 now we are 25
pants: AND THEN SUDDENLY 25 YEARS HAD PASSED pants: EH WHAT YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP I'M A LITTLE OLD MAN IN THIS YEAR OF THE LORD 2023 deuce: KYS pants: CELEBRATION IN THE FORM OF BONEQUEST.FM 24/7 FROM 8/17 TO 8/24 + BONEQUEST.GG NOW AVAILABLE FOR PLAY pants: PLAYING WITH MY GRANDCHILDREN IN THE TOMATO GARDEN, HAVING A HEART ATTACK, SLUMPING TO THE GROUND spigot: MY FAITH-BASED PENIS
#alt-text
#anniversary
#birthday-strip
#bonequest-fm
#bong
#bung-deuce-effigy-hanford-ozone-pants-spigot
#censored
#duck
#kill-yourself
#kys
#mountain-background
#penis
#spam
#the-godfather
8,918 8/18/2023 shout it out
pants: GOD BLESS THIS MESS (ON MY FACE) pants: LORD JESUS IT DRIPPED ONTO MY SHIRT COLLAR pants: SURE HOPE WE CAN SHOUT IT OUT deuce: CAN WE LET IT ALL OUT THOUGH pants: I COULD DO WITHOUT THAT (KEEPING THE SPURT IN PLAY) deuce: COME ON deuce: I'M TALKING TO YOU deuce: COME ON pants: SIGH ALL RIGHT (UNDRESSING)
#a-love-story
#bored-pants
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#facial
#feet-above-floor
#huffy-pants
#jizz
#laundry
#shout
#singing
#tears-for-fears
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-room-background
8,919 8/19/2023 i pray it's not titled linus tuck tips
deuce: PRESS HERE TO START spigot: LINUS TUCK TIPS
#deuce-spigot
#linus-tech-tips
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
8,920 8/20/2023 the hero’s journey
deuce: LEAKING JOCK GETS MACHINE FUCKED pants: CALL TO ADVENTURE deuce: PINCH HERE TO MAKE YOUR D*CK HARD-AS-A-ROCK pants: ORDEAL deuce: <BLOCKQUOTE>GAY</BLOCKQUOTE> pants: VICTORY
#boner
#coy-pants
#dick
#gay
#heros-journey
#html
#john-campbell
#mousehole
#porn
#woodring-room-background
8,921 8/21/2023 and then repeat
deuce: CAN I CHEW YOU UP AND THEN SWALLOW YOU AND THEN DIGEST YOU AND THEN POOP YOU OUT AND THEN REASSEMBLE YOU (TOOTHPICKS, PAPER CLIPS, SPIT) AND THEN REPEAT deuce: OR IS THAT TOO 1997 pants: YEAH THINKING YAHOO HOME PAGE deuce: LOTS OF TABLES
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#html
#mountain-background
#nineties
#somber-deuce
#table
#vore
#yahoo
8,922 8/22/2023 push notifications
spigot: MY REAR END IS SENDING ME PUSH NOTIFICATIONS
#anal
#mountain-background
#push-technology
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,923 8/23/2023 it's a mistake
pants: WE'RE GONNA SUCKER PUNCH SO MANY TERFS pants: BAM POW ZAP TAKE THAT "LADY"
#coy-pants
#mountain-background
#onomatopoeia
#pants-solo
#physical-comedy
#righteous-fury
#terf
#transgender
8,924 8/24/2023 sourdough starter
spigot: INTRODUCING THE BONEQUEST SOURDOUGH STARTER: PARKING-LOT-SOCK.JPG
#baking
#bread
#cooking
#gunmetal-background
#recipe
#san-francisco
#sfw
#sock-in-a-parking-lot
#sourdough
#spigot-solo
8,925 8/25/2023 chicks
pants: NO HIPPIE CHICKS pants: ALSO NO FAT CHICKS pants: NO CRUNCHY GRANOLA CHICKS EITHER pants: MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST DRAFT A BLANKET RULE ON THIS ONE deuce: HOISTED ON MY OWN RETARD [SIC]
#deuce-pants
#fat
#gay
#grey-background
#retard
#sic
#women
8,926 8/26/2023 textbook unemployable
deuce: YOU ARE ALL TEXTBOOK UNEMPLOYABLE
#criticism
#deuce-solo
#highish-res
#mountain-background
#sfw
#unemployment
8,927 8/27/2023 comedy club
spigot: WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY TO THE CHERRY PIE spigot: HOW ARE YOU FILLING spigot: WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY TO THE CARROT CAKE spigot: YOU'RE DUMB AND ALSO GROSS
#comedy
#food
#medicine
#mustard-background
#pie
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#truth
8,928 8/28/2023 fold me like a piece of paper
spigot: MY FAKE CANCER IS BACK pants: ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY deuce: MOVE THE MOUSE spigot: YOU CAN PUSH A PENIS THROUGH MY REAR END AND OUT MY MOUTH IF YOU FOLD ME LIKE A PIECE OF PAPER deuce: DEMONSTRATING A WORMHOLE WITH A PENCIL AND A PINUP POSTER BUT IT'S A PENIS AND YOUR ALIMENTARY CANAL
#anal-insertion
#anal-sex
#blue-background
#cancer
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#funloving-nonsense
#meta
#mouse-cursor
#topology
#wormhole
8,929 8/29/2023 suspended
spigot: ALL THE DICKS YOU'VE EVER LICKED SUSPENDED IN A SUNBEAM
#carl-sagan
#cosmos
#dicklicking
#dicks
#laser-lemon-background
#pale-blue-dot
#science
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
8,930 8/30/2023 the ultimate cure for urination frequency at night
deuce: FWD: THE ULTIMATE CURE FOR URINATION FREQUENCY AT NIGHT pants: WHAT'S WRONG WITH OLD WHITE DICKS deuce: LIMP deuce: WRINKLY pants: ALSO: POKING
#deuce-pants
#dicks
#old
#poking
#spam
#stalldoor-background
#urine
8,931 8/31/2023 pleased with himself in panel 3
spigot: FARTMANAGER TIMED OUT spigot: THE SALTS, SUGARS AND FATS MY 50+ YEAR OLD BODY NEEDS spigot: TRY THAT IN A HITLER HAD JUST ONE BALL TOWN
#ball-of-hitler
#callback
#gunmetal-background
#hitler
#john-mellencamp
#old
#pants-spigot
8,932 9/1/2023 thought leader
pants: WHAT ABOUT THE PORNO VERSION pants: I'M A THOUGHT LEADER pants: AN INFORMATION ARCHITECT pants: I CAN BEAT OFF FOREVER deuce: BUT ARE YOU AN INFLUENCER pants: LORDY NO deuce: THEN BEAT ME OFF, NON-INFLUENCER
#a-love-story
#beat-off
#beating-off
#bored-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#green-background
#influencer
#porn
#social-media
#thought-leader
8,933 9/2/2023 fly me to the moon
deuce: :NOTES: FLY ME / TO THE MOON AND LET ME PLAY / AMONG THE BALLS 🎡 pants: THOSE AREN'T THE RIGHT LYRICS
#balls
#deuce-pants
#discord
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#frank-sinatra
#huffy-pants
#mondegreen
#moon
#mountain-background
#singing
#url
8,934 9/3/2023 100 penises in 100 days
spigot: :100: PENISES IN :100: DAYS CHALLENGE spigot: THE PRIZE IS 1 PENIS
#penis
#pink-background
#spigot-solo
8,935 9/4/2023 indigenous peoples
spigot: WHY CAN'T YOU SUPPORT INDIGENOUS PEOPLES WITHOUT BEATING THEM OFF deuce: BUT THEY'RE SO HANDSOME
#american-indian
#beating-off
#beauty
#critical-race-theory
#deuce-spigot
#native-american
#persian-plum-background
8,936 9/5/2023 the y files
spigot: DID MULDER SERIOUSLY NEVER LOOK INTO THE Y FILES
#black-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#television
#x-files
8,937 9/6/2023 my position on monogamy
deuce: I HAVE A SEVERE CASE OF THE BENDS deuce: MEANING I'LL BEND OVER FOR ANYONE pants: NOW YOU KNOW MY POSITION ON MONOGAMY
#a-love-story
#anal
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#edited
#gay
#monogamy
#mountain-background
#photoshop
#physical-comedy
#weird-pants-face
8,938 9/7/2023 pulled pork
spigot: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD PULL MY PORK
#barbeque
#double-entendre
#food
#pork
#sfw
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-field-background
8,939 9/8/2023 bone quest 2023
deuce: WORDS FORM IN MY HEAD AND I TYPE THEM HERE deuce: FOR THAT I APOLOGIZE deuce: USE THE CODE `BONEQUEST2023` AT CHECKOUT FOR 15% OFF ALL FRESH DILDOS
#deuce-solo
#dildo
#drunk-deuce
#marketing
#offer-code
#somber-deuce
#woodring-field-background
8,940 9/9/2023 wishes
spigot: I SURE WISH I COULD LIVE A LONG LONG LONG TIME
#existential
#mortality
#old
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#starbucks-background
8,941 9/10/2023 high velocity pudding splatter
pants: BA-GURRRK HEAD CHOPPED OFF :CHICKEN: :AXE: spigot: HIGH VELOCITY PUDDING SPLATTER ALL OVER MY SHIRT PANTS AND FACE spigot: TELL-TALE PATTERN ON THE CEILING INDICATING THE SPOON WAS MOVING UP AND DOWN RAPIDLY deuce: COOKIE AVAILABILITY IS LOW SO THE WOODCHIPPER MUST RELY ON PUDDING spigot: I'M ON A FIXED INCOME SO MAYBE ONE DICK A WEEK
#cookies
#decapitation
#deuce-pants-spigot
#dick
#emoji
#fat
#funloving-nonsense
#physical-comedy
#pudding
#wood-chipper
#woodring-stairs-background
8,942 9/11/2023 that time in the toilet
pants: DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT TIME IN THE TOILET deuce: WHICH TIME (CAN YOU BE MORE SPECIFIC)
#deuce-pants
#single-panel
#toilet
#woodring-field-background
8,943 9/12/2023 groat cake
spigot: NO I WOULD NOT CARE FOR A GROAT CAKE
#groatcakes
#mountain-background
#sfw
#star-trek
8,944 9/13/2023 yes please
spigot: WOULD YOU LIKE FRESH PEAR SLICES ON YOUR PIZZA pants: YES PLEASE AND SOME OF THE SPIKY BALLS THAT FALL FROM TREES
#coy-pants
#durian
#fat
#fatness
#food
#pants-spigot
#pear
#pizza
#sfw
#sweet-gum-tree
#weird-coy-face
#woodring-stairs-background
8,945 9/14/2023 breadstick failover
pants: MULTIPLE REDUNDANT BREADSTICKS
#bread
#food
#olive-garden
#pants-solo
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
8,946 9/15/2023 normalize farting over zoom
pants: NORMALIZE FARTING OVER ZOOM spigot: EARLIER THIS QUARTER WE TOUCHED ON YOU EATING YOUR LOSER WAD FOR MY BIG FAKE TITS spigot: HAS THE NEEDLE MOVED ON THAT AT ALL
#blue-background
#farts
#joi
#pants-spigot
#tits
#zoom
8,947 9/16/2023 clark
pants: SHAKE / SHAKE SHAKE IT LIKE A RATTLESNAKE BOOM BOOM BEATING OFF IN A ZOOM clark: PANTS, GOOD MORNING. CLARKITY CLARK HERE FROM RECRUITMENT RECRUITING HOW WE DOIN' TODAY clark: MAJORLY COOL OPPORTUNITIES IN YUBA CITY THIS WEEK TESTING H-P PRINTER DRIVERS WITH ADOBE FONTS. I SEE ON YOUR RESUME LOTS OF C ++ HOW'S YOUR C ++ clark: HOW ARE YOU WITH CYBER SECURITY? FRESNO NEEDS ADMINISTRATORS. AND SANTA ROSA'S ALWAYS WHERE IT'S AT FOR PYTHON AND PHP. CAN YOU LIFT ROUGHLY 50 POUNDS clark: CLARKITY CLARK HERE RECRUITMENT RECRUITING DID I CATCH YOU AT A GOOD TIME
#beating-off
#clarkity-clark
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#employment
#potomac-background
#recruiter
#recruiting
#sfw
#singing
#tongtyed
#uncredited-character
#zoom
8,948 9/17/2023 the accused
pants: ACCUSED OF BEATING OFF IN VALLEJO WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY BEATING OFF IN WALNUT CREEK spigot: :NOTES: UP :NOTES: :NOTES: TOWN :NOTES: :NOTES: FARTS :NOTES: spigot: :NOTES: I PUT MY :NOTES: :NOTES: PENIS IN YOUR :NOTES: :NOTES: MEYER LEMON TARTS :NOTES:
#beating-off
#billy-joel
#coy-pants
#emoji
#farts
#insertion
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#penis
#singing
#vallejo
#weird-coy-face
8,949 9/18/2023 just curious
pants: ZZZ ZZZ ZZZZZ Z ZZZ ZZZZZ ZZZ ZZ ZZ ZZ ZZZZZ Z ZZZ ZZZZ ZZZ pants: ZZ ZZ ZZZZZ Z ZZZ ZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ pants: ZZZZZ ZZ ZZZZZ ZZZ ZZ ZZ ZZ ZZZZZ ZZZ ZZ Z clark: HOW'S YOUR OLAP
#black-background
#clarkity-clark
#olap
#pants-sleeping
#recruiter
#recruiting
#sleep
#tongtyed
#uncredited-character
8,950 9/19/2023 a lamppost or a crane
deuce: THAT DIARRHEA BLAST WAS SO POWERFUL IT STUCK TO THE SIDE OF THE BOWL EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BELOW THE WATER LEVEL AFTER FLUSHING deuce: ALSO I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF BUT NOT QUITE!!! deuce: HANG ME FROM THE LAMPPOSTS AS AN EXAMPLE TO OTHERS
#bondage
#capital-punishment
#deuce-solo
#deuces-shits
#diarrhea
#execution
#hanging
#lamppost
#shit
#somber-deuce
#toilet
#urinal-background
8,951 9/20/2023 fuck me more in the ass
spigot: T DEUCE DO U STILL LIKE THE SPRITE IN ME :CUP_WITH_STRAW: deuce: FMMITA
#acronym
#anal-sex
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#ghetto-u
#mountain-background
#url
8,952 9/21/2023 opportunity, culture and sunshine
spigot: HI I'M SPIGOT AND THIS IS MY STUDIO APARTMENT ON VALLEY GREEN DRIVE WHERE I LIVE WITH FIVE OTHER NET-SAVVY MULTIMEDIA PROFESSIONALS
#apartment
#bay-area
#current-events
#green-background
#housing-crisis
#internet
#roommates
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,953 9/22/2023 help i'm trapped in a webcomic factory
deuce: :FORTUNE_COOKIE: TODAY YOU WILL GET _GANG RAPED_ spigot: DID YOU MEAN _GROUP HUGGED_ deuce: IT'S A SPECIAL HUG
#corndog-background
#deuce-spigot
#emoji
#fortune
#fortune-cookie
#meta
#rape
#somber-deuce
#spurt
8,954 9/23/2023 pipe organ circus music
spigot: ON ANDROID PHONES THE BROADCASTIFY APP SOMEHOW MAINTAINS A SECOND AUDIO STREAM SO YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE CLEVELAND METRO HOUSING AUTHORITY AND PIPE ORGAN CIRCUS MUSIC
#android
#broadcastify
#mountain-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,955 9/24/2023 yelling about something or other
pants: LISTEN UP pants: THERE IS A STORM COMING pants: HUALHAULGHLUAGHLAHGLHALUGAG
#cocksucking-noises
#mousehole
#pants-solo
#sfw
#warning
#woodring-room-background
8,956 9/25/2023 also known as
spigot: THAT STALL OVER THERE IS THE FAT PEOPLE STALL (AKA THE BLUBBER BUS)
#deuce-pants-spigot
#fat
#fatness
#stall
#urinal-background
8,957 9/26/2023 it almost rhymes, i dunno
pants: BANANA SEATS AND SISSY BARS spigot: MY PENIS LOST A MICHELIN STAR
#bicycle
#michelin-stars
#pants-spigot
#penis
#rhyme
#woodring-den-background
8,958 9/27/2023 cornered
pants: WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THOSE PICTURES OF SPIDER-MAN YOU WERE GONNA GET ME deuce: BUSY pants: CORNERING YOU, FORCING YOU TO JACK ME OFF deuce: NOT POSSIBLE, WE'RE ON DIFFERENT PLANETS NOW
#deuce-pants
#huffy-pants
#jacking-off
#spider-man
#stalldoor-background
8,959 9/28/2023 oh dear
spigot: PLEASE PASS THE VEGAN APPLE PRUNECAKE spigot: OH DEAR I DROPPED IT AND STEPPED ALL OVER IT AND GOT PIZZA HUT spigot: :MANS_SHOE: ONE MORE SMOOSH BECAUSE FUCK YOU
#apricot-background
#behind-the-scenes
#emoji
#food
#pizza
#pizza-hut
#smoosh
#spigot-solo
#vegan
#violent-disapproval
8,960 9/29/2023 how to keep insects still for macro photography part 2
deuce: WHERE THERE'S A WIL THERE'S A GAY deuce: (A GUY NAMED WIL)
#black-background
#deuce-solo
#ensign-crusher
#gay
#sfw
#star-trek
#wil-wheaton
8,961 9/30/2023 the goddamn suit
maynard: HIYA FRIEND maynard: HOW WE DOIN' TODAY deuce: TAKE IT OFF maynard: NOT SURE I FOLLOW 100% deuce: TAKE THE GODDAMN SUIT OFF maynard: THE WHAT deuce: TAKE OFF THE COSTUME clark: CLARKITY CLARK HERE WITH RECRUITMENT RECRUITING HOW'S YOUR FRIDAY deuce: SUCK A GODDAMN COCK MADE OUT OF SHIT clark: GOT SOME GIGS AT WESTERN DIGITAL IN SAN JOSE IF YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IS ARE YOU READY TO SHAPE THE FUTURE OF STORAGE
#bay-area
#clarkity-clark
#drunk-deuce
#furry
#fursuit
#jenv
#mountain-background
#recruiter
#recruiting
#san-jose
#tongtyed
#uncredited-character
8,962 10/1/2023 fun
atandt: GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN deuce: AGREED
#atandt-deuce
#atandt-deuce-connect
#consensus
#cyndi-lauper
#drunk-deuce
#eighties
#music
#music-criticism
#robert-hazard
#sfw
#urinal-background
#women
8,963 10/2/2023 a riddle
dick: HOW MUCH COCK CAN A COCKSUCKER SUCK IF A COCKSUCKER COULD SUCK COCK? dick: ANSWER: ME.
#cocksucker
#cocksucking
#dick-solo
#mountain-background
#woodchuck
8,964 10/3/2023 subject: greetings
spigot: I HOPE THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU FAT
#email
#fat
#mountain-background
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,965 10/4/2023 facial friday
spigot: ITS FACIAL FRIDAY ON SPUNKSITES IF YOU HAVE A SPUNKPASS pants: I ONLY HAVE ALL-ANAL ACCESS spigot: L
#anal
#disappointed-pants
#edited
#facial
#pants-spigot
#porn
#woodring-field-background
8,966 10/5/2023 ahem
spigot: I SAID: I WISH SOMEONE WOULD PULL MY PORK
#barbeque
#brown-background
#food
#jerk
#jerking
#pork
#spigot-solo
8,967 10/6/2023 max length
effigy: BONER PILLS spigot: LISA NEEDS BRACES effigy: BONER PILLS spigot: LISA NEEDS BRACES effigy: BONER PILLS spigot: LISA NEEDS BRACES effigy: LISA PILLS spigot: BRACES NEED BONERS effigy: BRACES PILLS spigot: LISA NEEDS BONERS effigy: I KNEW IT
#boner
#dentist
#drugs
#effigy-spigot
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#repetition
#simpsons
#viagra
8,968 10/7/2023 yes but
pants: DO YOU THINK A.I. CAN ANALYZE MY PENIS IN REAL TIME deuce: YES BUT YOU WON'T LIKE THE RESULT
#ai
#deuce-pants
#green-background
#penis
8,969 10/8/2023 additional research needed
pants: T SPIGOT HAVE YOU PUBLISHED ANY ADDITIONAL RESEARCH AROUND WHAT OTHER HOSTESS PRODUCTS CAN BE FROZEN AND WHETHER THEY TASTE BETTER deuce: HO HOS YOU FOOL pants: HOW CAN YOU SEE MY PRIVATE T'S deuce: [HISSING NOISES]
#deuce-pants-spigot
#disappointed-pants
#drunk-deuce
#edited
#food
#freezer
#hacking
#hostess
#huffy-pants
#mountain-background
#research
#science
#sfw
8,970 10/9/2023 drop your weapon
spigot: WHERE'S HOMOCOP WITH MY 15 SECONDS TO COMPLY
#ed-209
#gay
#grey-background
#homocop
#no-title-card
#police
#rape
#robocop
#sfw
#spigot-solo
8,971 10/10/2023 pet trans cats
spigot: SUNNYVALE GOLFLAND USA YOUR SILENCE IS DEAFENING RE: ISRAEL
#bay-area
#current-events
#golf
#israel
#spigot-solo
#woodring-den-background
8,972 10/11/2023 paulie.gif
spigot: CHECKING MY REAR END FOR MALWARE pants: IN MY DAY WE DIDN'T HAVE NOTHING UP OUR REAR ENDS <PAULIE-WALNUTS.GIF>
#malware
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#the-sopranos
8,973 10/12/2023 ubuntu
spigot: U PUT THE U IN UBUNTU spigot: U ARE THE TRAILING U GETTING BUNTED spigot: U ARE LITERALLY BUNTING URSELF spigot: IN UR BUNS spigot: AND THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT
#deuce-effigy-ozone-pants-spigot
#ghetto-u
#gun
#linux
#many-characters
#mountain-background
#multiple-backgrounds
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#ubuntu
#urinal-background
#woodring-den-background
8,974 10/13/2023 who indeed
pants: WHO AMONG US WILL REACH INTO MY SHORTS AND GIVE MY NUTS A GOOD HONKING
#among-us
#fashion
#groping
#honk
#nuts
#nuts-of-pants
#pants-solo
#urinal-background
8,975 10/14/2023 the walmart
pants: DO YOU GUYS NEED ANYTHING FROM WALMART spigot: I GET MY CRAMPS IN THE ANTE MERIDIEM :MAN_IN_TUXEDO::SKIN-TONE-2::COCKTAIL: pants: WACKING OFF OR WHACKING OFF pants: HOT BUTTERED FAG NOG EXPRESS effigy: GET HARD DAD!
#blue-background
#coy-pants
#dad
#effigy-pants-spigot
#egg-nog
#emoji
#fag
#fag-nog
#funloving-nonsense
#incest
#latin
#masturbation
#no-greytext
#walmart
#whacking-off
8,976 10/15/2023 an open letter to hamas
spigot: HI HOW ARE YOU I AM FINE I SAW BARBIE AND IT WAS FUNNY AND GOOD I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A NICE HALLOWEEN MY FAVORITE CANDY BARS ARE TWIX SNICKERS AND REESES BUT NOT STARBURST BECAUSE THEY HURT MY MOUTH
#barbie
#candy
#current-events
#epistolary
#halloween
#hamas
#how-are-you-i-am-fine
#israel
#mousehole
#palestine
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#wholesome
#woodring-room-background
8,977 10/16/2023 all night
deuce: SEX ME UP pants: HOW WILL YOU GET SEXXED BACK DOWN deuce: UNCLEAR deuce: IT WILL REQUIRE EXTENSIVE EXPERIMENTATION pants: WHAT IF YOU GET STUCK IN SEX UP POSITION
#black-background
#bored-pants
#color-me-badd
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#disappointed-pants
#drunk-deuce
#edited
#huffy-pants
#sex
#somber-deuce
#weird-pants-face
8,978 10/17/2023 so great
spigot: IF YOU'RE SO GREAT THEN WHERE'S A LINK TO YOUR NUDES
#no-title-card
#nude
#spigot-solo
#woodring-stairs-background
8,979 10/18/2023 your call
pants: TO OPT OUT OF THE SIMULATION, PRESS ONE pants: FOR SPANISH PRESS TWO pants: OR PRESS # FOR THE OPERATOR deuce: $ pants: WELCOME TO MOVIEFONE deuce: Q spigot: GURK GOLP DOING MORE WITH LESS
#deuce-pants-spigot
#glop
#green-background
#gurk
#ivr
#moviefone
#spanish
#starbucks-background
#telephony
#weird-pants-face
8,980 10/19/2023 random events
pants: DO YOU THINK LIFE IS JUST A SUM OF OUR CHOICES deuce: AND RANDOM EVENTS pants: AND PROBABLY HOTDOGS
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants-spigot
#edited
#existential
#food
#hot-dogs
#moustache
#photoshop
#sfw
#white-background
8,981 10/20/2023 two drinks, two slices
pants: HAVING TWO DRINKS AND TWO SLICES OF PIZZA AND THEN GETTING IN BED spigot: STAY THERE UNTIL IT'S TIME FOR COFFEE IN THE MORNING
#alcohol
#bed
#coffee
#food
#mountain-background
#pants-spigot
#pizza
#sfw
#wholesome
8,982 10/21/2023 spitroasting the wumpus
pants: THE LORD LIVES AT 0,0 deuce: NO THAT'S WHERE THE WUMPUS IS pants: I'VE FOUND THAT HE MOVES AROUND deuce: NOT THIS TIME (HE BROKE HIS ANKLE) pants: AWWWW YEAH WE'RE GONNA SPITROAST HIM
#blue-background
#deuce-pants
#gaming
#geometry
#god
#jesus
#text-adventure
#wumpus
8,983 10/22/2023 death is not the end
pants: ARE YOU GOING TO THE PARTY TONIGHT spigot: I'LL NEVER ATTEND ANOTHER PARTY AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE (NOT MUCH LONGER) pants: THE SWEET EMBRACE OF DEATH CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH GALUGHLAHGLAHLG pants: WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN GOING TO SLEEP??????? GOING TO SLEEP FOREVER pants: PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MY 9 WIENERDOGS
#bored-pants
#death
#existential
#getting-old
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#pants-spigot
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
#wienerdog
8,984 10/23/2023 do not track
spigot: GETTING A TATTOO ON MY LOWER BACK THAT SAYS `DO NOT TRACK` BECAUSE THAT WILL ABSOLUTELY KEEP ALL THE PENISES OUT spigot: VAMPIRES AND FELLOW Q U E E R S deuce: EDWSQA QWSDFIOP[;]' deuce: \?.C XZ deuce: 41-//*+?I[KJHGFVDCXS+ pants: BALLS YES
#balls
#corndog-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#penis
#queer
#tattoo
#vampire
#viscera
8,985 10/24/2023 somewhat sad news
spigot: IS THERE ANYTHING IN YOUR POCKETS THAT MIGHT PRICK ME OR POKE ME spigot: MAYBE I COULD FINISH MY GOON SESH IF YOU RETURNED MY POPPERS spigot: WRONG WIN spigot: (SOMEWHAT) SAD NEWS: WELLS FARGO UPDATED THEIR TERMS AND CONDITIONS AND I NO LONGER QUALIFY FOR ANAL SEX WORKSHOPS ON LINKEDIN LEARNING
#anal-sex
#goon-sesh
#gooning
#leisure-town
#linkedin
#online-education
#poking
#poppers
#prick
#spigot-solo
#wells-fargo
#woodring-stairs-background
#wrong-window
8,986 10/25/2023 1938
pants: BARF ON MY COCK NOT ONCE NOT TWICE BUT SOME UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF BARFS deuce: A NONZERO NUMBER OF FARTS pants: WELL I SUPPOSE I ONLY SPECIFIED 1 AND 2 pants: OH YOU'RE TALKIN' FARTS NOT BARFS pants: SORRY, SORRY pants: LET'S START OVER pants: [TIME REWINDS TO 1938] pants: I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BE INVOLVED IN THE LAND WAR IN EUROPE
#afraid-deuce
#barf
#bored-pants
#corndog-background
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#farts
#history
#roman-shower
#weird-pants-face
#wwii
8,987 10/26/2023 a beautiful poem
deuce: OUR LOVE WAS MEANT TO BE pants: TOILETRIES
#a-love-story
#deuce-pants
#gay
#love
#poetry
#sfw
#somber-deuce
#toiletries
#yellow-background
8,988 10/27/2023 can i call you back
spigot: :LOCK: THIS PENIS IS ONLY AVAILABLE TO SUBSCRIBERS spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW spigot: OW OW OW OW OW OW OW spigot: OW OW OW spigot: CAN I CALL YOU BACK I'M GETTING A BJ FROM A LANGOLIER
#blowjob
#callback
#eggshell-background
#emoji
#on-phone
#paywall
#penis
#spigot-solo
#stephen-king
#telephony
8,989 10/28/2023 unclear what his intentions are, must investigate further
pants: TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET TOILET
#gunmetal-background
#no-title-card
#pants-solo
#repetition
#sfw
#toilet
8,990 10/29/2023 9v
spigot: WHAT PENIS CAGE WILL YOU BE WEARING FOR LOCKTOBER deuce: I'M A 9 V BATTERY
#deuce-spigot
#fashion
#penis
#woodring-stairs-background
8,991 10/30/2023 regular balls
pants: ```-BASH: UNZUP: COMMAND NOT FOUND``` pants: HALP I CAN'T COMPILE MY POINTERS deuce: MY HTML WON'T LINK pants: HALP ALMOST OUT OF SNO-BALLS pants: AND REGULAR BALLS pants: NOPE HERE THEY COME (MARCHING TWO BY TWO)
#angry-panel
#balls
#bash
#deuce-pants
#grey-background
#halp
#hostess
#html
#huffy-pants
#snobol
#typo
#unix
8,992 10/31/2023 you're hired here's a mop
spigot: I THOUGHT A GENDER REVEAL WAS JUST PULLING MY PANTS DOWN
#flash
#gender
#green-background
#no-title-card
#single-panel
#spigot-solo
#starbucks-background
8,993 11/1/2023 justice
pants: DOWN THE HATCH GLUG GLUG GLUG OH LORD PISS TASTES TERRIBLE GLUG GLUG GLUG deuce: IT TASTES LIKE JUSTICE pants: (WIPING LIPS) PISS JUG JUSTICE
#deuce-pants
#drunk-deuce
#justice
#piss
#piss-jug
#somber-deuce
#urolagnia
#yellow-background
8,994 11/2/2023 is it true
spigot: IS IT TRUE BART SIMPSON SAT ON A BUTTERFINGER AND THAT'S WHY HE'S LIKE THAT deuce: LIKE WHAT spigot: LIKE SO AWESOME
#awesome
#bart-simpson
#butterfinger
#candy
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#simpsons
#somber-deuce
#yellow-background
8,995 11/3/2023 crowd funding
pants: CROWDFUND MY BONER pants: BY WHICH I MEAN BEAT ME OFF pants: THERE'S NO NEED TO RAISE MONEY FOR THIS SORT OF THING deuce: THERE'S NOT EVEN A WEBSITE pants: YEAH ABOUT THAT UH
#beating-off
#boner
#deuce-pants
#green-background
#huffy-pants
#web
8,996 11/4/2023 did you know
spigot: I'LL BET THE BANANAS SOMETIMES DID DIARRHEA IN THEIR PAJAMAS spigot: DO FOLKS KNOW IF YOU CHOP OFF A PENIS YOU CAN STILL SUCK IT spigot: IT DOESN'T MAGICALLY REDUCE ITS POWERS spigot: WE CAN STILL SERVE THIS
#bananas-in-pajamas
#diarrhea
#folks
#genital-mutilation
#gross
#magic
#no-title-card
#penis
#purple-background
#purpureus-background
#spigot-solo
8,997 11/5/2023 bad baby
deuce: HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUH (SHAKEN NOT STIRRED) spigot: WHEN YOU MAKE THAT NOISE I THINK: spigot: (A) HE IS BEING MEAN TO ME spigot: AND spigot: (B) I CAN MAKE THAT NOISE AS WELL spigot: WITH FAT PRICKS IN MY MOUTH/HEAD
#deuce-spigot
#mountain-background
#pricks
8,998 11/6/2023 afternoon cartoons
pants: BLAST OFF TO ADVENTURE WITH YOUR FAVORITE BONEQUEST CHARACTERS AS THEY EXPLORE THE GALAXY AND FIGHT CRIME TOGETHER TODAY AT 4PM
#adventure
#deuce-pants-spigot
#mars-background
#no-title-card
#sfw
8,999 11/7/2023 a big tree
spigot: HOW ABOUT A BIG TREE WHERE MILLENNIALS CAN RENT A NOOSE FOR THE NIGHT
#bedpods
#brown-background
#millennials
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
#suicide
9,000 11/8/2023 nine thousand episodes later
pants: SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR BONEQUEST 9000
#anticlimax
#disappointment
#meta
#milestone
#pants-solo
#sfw
#white-background
9,001 11/9/2023 shame on you sir
effigy: ARE YOU FOR EATING lobster: WHAT lobster: ABSOLUTELY NO lobster: AM I NOT A SENTIENT CREATURE lobster: DO I NOT LOVE AND FEEL PAIN AND LAUGH AT THE SUN AND THE SKY AND THE STARS lobster: DO I NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED AS ONE OF GOD'S LOVED CREATURES lobster: CAN YOU TRULY SUM UP MY EXISTENCE THAT WAY lobster: SHAME ON YOU SIR lobster: SHAME ON YOU effigy: BURP
#death
#effigy-solo
#inebriated-crustacean
#mountain-background
#vore
9,002 11/10/2023 remember remember
spigot: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH:CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: spigot: :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GURK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: BLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: HOMPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: MPTH :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLK :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLORP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: GLOP :CHOCOLATE_BAR: spigot: WELL I FAILED NO NOUGAT NOVEMBER
#candy
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#emoji
#fat
#multiple-backgrounds
#nougat
#repetition
#sfw
9,003 11/11/2023 c.g.b.
spigot: PLEASE ADDRESS MY PENIS AS CRYPTO'S GOLDEN BOY
#crypto
#deuce-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#ftx
#penis-of-spigot
#sam-bankman-fried
#woodring-den-background
9,004 11/12/2023 4th edition
pants: ROLL FOR YOUR GOBLIN COCK SAVE THROW deuce: AHEM I'M A SKELETON RANGER SO I HAVE AN IMMUNITY TO GOBLIN COCK pants: WHAT ABOUT GOBBLIN' COCK deuce: THE MONSTER MANUAL DOESN'T SAY pants: HMM
#cock
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#disappointed-pants
#dungeons-and-dragons
#filename
#goblin
#minecraft-background
#rpg
#somber-deuce
#weird-coy-face
9,005 11/13/2023 suck and fuck club
deuce: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT pants: SUCK AND FUCK
#bored-pants
#bunny
#deuce-jenv-pants
#drunk-deuce
#fucking
#gay
#mountain-background
#somber-deuce
#sucking
#uncredited-character
9,006 11/14/2023 the one joke
deuce: I IDENTIFY AS A G2 TYPE MAIN SEQUENCE YELLOW DWARF STAR pants: TAKE IT OFF spigot: HANG YOURSELF
#astronomy
#corndog-background
#deuce-pants-spigot
#drunk-deuce
#failed-comedy
#hertzsprung-russell-diagram
#kill-yourself
#nerd
#sfw
#sun
9,007 11/15/2023 blgk
spigot: GLORP BLGK YOU CALL THIS THRIVING IN CHRIST
#christ
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
#thriving
#woodring-field-background
9,008 11/16/2023 wartorn, dragtired
pants: A COCKSUCKER'S LAMENT deuce: WOE IS MY BALLS pants: FOR THEY ARE TIRED AND TORN APART BY WAR (WARTORN) deuce: AND TIRED FROM DRAGGING (DRAGTIRED)
#cocksucker
#coy-pants
#deuce-pants
#gunmetal-background
#neologisms
#no-title-card
#nuts-of-deuce
#nuts-of-pants
#sad-deuce
#somber-deuce
#war
9,009 11/17/2023 court is now in session
spigot: MORALLY AND ETHICALLY OBLIGATED TO POO MY PANTS spigot: PERMISSION TO POO MY PANTS ON THE STAND spigot: EITHER DIRECTLY ON THE BIBLE OR DURING CROSS
#bible
#court
#ethics
#mountain-background
#poo
#soiling-myself
#spigot-solo
#trousers
9,010 11/18/2023 intern ship
pants: HEY GUYS I GOT AN INTERNSHIP AT THE DICKSUCKING FACTORY deuce: (UNPAID) pants: WELL THE HOPE IS THIS EXPERIENCE WILL LEAD ME TO A FULL-TIME POSITION pants: NOPE JUST MORE WEIRD KNOBBY DICKS TO LICK FOR FREE
#black-background
#bored-pants
#corporate-america
#deuce-pants
#dicklicking
#dicks
#dicksucking
#drunk-deuce
#employment
#exploitation
#gay
#intern
#internship
9,011 11/19/2023 status site
spigot: MY PENIS IS STILL DOWN DUE TO A CYBERATTACK
#cyber
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#penis
#penis-of-spigot
#spigot-solo
9,012 11/20/2023 minimum order
pants: IMPORTANT: MINIMUM ORDER IS 20 GUINEA FOWL. pants: OW OW OW PECKING ORDER
#bird
#guinea-fowl
#huffy-pants
#no-title-card
#pain
#pants-solo
#physical-comedy
#sfw
#starbucks-background
9,013 11/21/2023 $122
spigot: TURNS OUT I CAN EAT $122 WORTH OF PASTRIES IN 8 HOURS, WHERE'S MY PARADE spigot: THIS IS :POINT_RIGHT::SKIN-TONE-2:AFTER:POINT_LEFT::SKIN-TONE-2: A LARGE PIZZA THE NIGHT BEFORE
#eating
#eggshell-background
#fat
#food
#gluttony
#heroism
#no-title-card
#parade
#pastry
#pizza
#plump
#sfw
#spigot-solo
9,014 11/22/2023 healthy eating choices
deuce: I HAD A DREAM THAT YOU HAD A GAY DREAM pants: WHOA pants: WHAT IS A GAY DREAM IN A NON-GAY DREAM IF NOT A GAY DREAM pants: I MEAN ANY NUMBER OF GAY BITS MAKE ALL FIELDS GAY pants: THIS IS WHY WE ALL SHOULD BE ISOLATED AND NOT ALLOWED TO VOTE pants: I'M CELEBRATING WITH HEALTHY EATING CHOICES AND WATER FROM THE SINK
#bits
#bored-pants
#computer-science
#deuce-pants
#dream
#drunk-deuce
#gay
#modified-character
#no-title-card
#olive-background
#programming
#somber-deuce
#voting
9,015 11/23/2023 face down
pants: FACE DOWN IN THE SHITTER deuce: STUFFED IN A HOLE spigot: PENISES IN YOUR MOUTH MIGHT BE CREATING A PRIVACY NIGHTMARE
#coy-pants
#drunk-deuce
#penis
#privacy
#toilet
#toilet-antics
#yellow-background
9,016 11/24/2023 piss takes
pants: PISS TAKES !!!!! pants: PFFFFTFTFT pants: PFFT (LAST LITTLE BIT) pants: PFT pants: PFTFTFTFTFFFFFT pants: PFT deuce: SPIT IT OUT SON
#deuce-pants
#piss
#spit
#spit-take
#yellow-background
9,017 11/25/2023 un born
deuce: I SPEAK FOR THE UNBORN deuce: AND WITH ONE UNIFIED VOICE THEY SHOUT: deuce: BURMA SHAVE
#abortion
#advertising
#burma-shave
#deuce-solo
#sfw
#woodring-stairs-background
9,018 11/26/2023 global warming
spigot: ARE YOU STILL BEATING OFF WITH PETROLEUM-BASED FOSSIL FUELS
#beating-off
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#spigot-solo
#sustainability
9,019 11/27/2023 bonequest store now open
spigot: GIVE ME A REASON TO PARTICIPATE IN LIFE TODAY pants: NOW OPEN: WWW.BONEQUEST.STORE deuce: SHOPPING FOR BONES pants: CELEBRATE CAPITALISM spigot: :TELEPHONE_RECEIVER: CLONK BA-DONK deuce: SERVER COMMUNICATION ERROR HAS OCCURRED pants: OH NO deuce: MY PAPERS ARE IN ORDER spigot: DONUT COURT IS NOW IN SESSION deuce: [LAW & ORDER THEME PLAYS] spigot: IS EVERYONE OPENING A BOUTIQUE IN NOB HILL spigot: WORRIED YOU'LL END UP IN THE HOSPITAL BEFORE PLACING YOUR ORDER AND PROCEEDING TO CHECKOUT
#capitalism
#concerned-deuce
#depression
#deuce-pants-spigot
#donut
#drunk-deuce
#e-commerce
#internet
#law-and-order
#merch
#mountain-background
#perfect-gift
#phone
#sellout
#sfw
#url
9,020 11/28/2023 cumcatch
deuce: LET'S PLAY CUMCATCH pants: ALL RIGHT BUT I'VE pants: OW I WASN'T READY pants: OW OW YOU'RE CHEATING pants: STOP USING STRATEGY pants: OW OW OW YOUR NETCODE SUCKS
#coy-pants
#cum
#deuce-pants
#disappointed-pants
#drunk-deuce
#laughing-deuce
#modified-character
#netcode
#ow
#physical-comedy
#white-background
9,021 11/29/2023 is this really though
pants: HAULGUHALG IS THIS UNBIBLICAL BEHAVIOR GHUALGHLBLGUAHBLGAG deuce: WE'LL NEVER KNOW
#bible
#cocksucking-noises
#deuce-pants
#mountain-background
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce
#theology
9,022 11/30/2023 docking sequence complete
spigot: THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT MUST STOP pants: MAYBE WE WERE ALL TRANS THE WHOLE TIME (X-FILES THEME) spigot: LET'S TALK PENIS TO PENIS deuce: (DOCKING) pants: DOCKING SEQUENCE INITIATED deuce: `HARD DOCK` WOOOOOOSH `RETRACTING` CLANK CLANK CLANK CLANK _BONK_ `DOCKING SEQUENCE COMPLETE`
#apocalypse
#bored-pants
#disappointed-pants
#docking
#drunk-deuce
#frottage
#penis
#red-text
#somber-deuce
#sound-effects
#trans
#weird-pants-face
#woodring-field-background
#x-files
9,023 12/1/2023 prune abuse
spigot: I SEARCHED FOR PRUNES TO FAKE OUT AD SERVERS AND NOW I'M SEEING ADS FOR PRUNES AND I'M LIKE HA HA DON'T CARE MEANWHILE BANKRUPT PRUNE FARMERS ARE SMOTHERING THEIR CHILDREN AND HANGING THEMSELVES DUE TO MY PRUNE ABUSE
#advertising
#custom-background
#farm
#murder-suicide
#no-title-card
#sfw
#spigot-solo
#suicide
9,024 12/2/2023 do something
pants: I AM A MUFFIN pants: EAT ME pants: STUFF ME pants: SIT ON ME pants: DO SOMETHING FOR GOD'S SAKE
#blue-background
#coy-pants
#feederism
#food
#huffy-pants
#muffins
#sfw
#weird-pants-face
9,025 12/3/2023 tonight's topic
deuce: SPLATTERY DIARRHEA spigot: THAT IS TONIGHT'S TOPIC
#deuce-spigot
#diarrhea
#falu-red-background
#no-title-card
#somber-deuce

EPISODES: 2023

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