deuce: WHY TRAIN pants: GET COMMISSIONER GORDON ON THE HORN

spigot: IN THE GAY NEIGHBORHOOD JUST SCROLLING THROUGH THE WIFI ACCESS POINTS spigot: KNOB HEIGHTS spigot: YOUR HANDY HANDYMAN spigot: GLORYHOLE 4 HOMELESS spigot: VERIZON

net: PISS net: THIS PLACE HAS REALLY LOST ITS SENSE OF COMMUNITY

deuce: MY WIENER BONER IS IDEMPOTENT

pants: WE COULD BE WIENER BUDDIES deuce: *WE ALREADY ARE* pants: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN deuce: *LOOK DOWN*

spigot: I'M GOING TO GET SPICED UP WITH JAMAICAN JERKSPICE RUM AND A SEARCH WARRANT spigot: DEAR DOMINIQUE SIMONE: spigot: SERIOUSLY WE KNOW THAT'S A WIG deuce: TIME FOR YOUR PILL

uncredited woman: ACCORDING TO WIKIPEDIA, MY NAME IS JUST "GIRL" deuce: SOMEONE PUNCH HER IN THE FUCKING MOUTH pants: AS A SEX OFFENDER I HOPE TO SOMEDAY GROW MY OWN VICTIM deuce: NOW WORK THE KIDNEYS pants: THIS STORY ALWAYS ENDS WITH HER FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS

dick: MY EDITS WERE CONSIDERED UNHELPFUL OR UNCONSTRUCTIVE pants: THAT'S AWFUL

pants: WILL GOTHS PROUDLY SERVE THEIR COUNTRY pants: WAIT WAIT WAIT pants: OKAY NOW ALL THE PEPPERED SALAMI IS GONE

pants: DO NOT TALK TO DRIVER deuce: THIS FILM HAS BEEN DECLASSIFIED

spigot: WILL LICK DICK FOR A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT

atandt: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY WE DON'T HAVE A TAMPON MACHINE IN THE MEN'S ROOM

pants: please shoot my brain deuce: if I shoot your brain will the word salad stop deuce: because I'm not sure that's where it's coming from pants: same, same

spigot: SERIOUSLY: WILL THERE EVER BE A RAINBOW deuce: T SPIGOT UNKNOWN AT PRESENT

pants: MY NUTS ARE SWOLLEN UP LIKE BALLOONS bung: WE NEED BIGGER RAM DISKS deuce: WILL THIS NEVER END deuce: I SHOULD HAVE NEVER PRESSED ENTER deuce: WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS I WILL FIND PANTS AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM (UNRELATED) pants: MY NUTS ARE SWOLLEN UP LIKE BALLOONS bung: WE NEED BIGGER RAM DISKS

spigot: T DEUCE WILL YOU BE ATTENDING BUTTMAN'S JAVASCRIPT CLASS

spigot: ARE YOU READY TO JERK WITH ME OR NOT spigot: BECAUSE I HAVE A GROUP OF FAGS COMING IN FROM BACK EAST TO LOOK AT THE STALL AND THEY'RE WILLING TO JERK *TODAY* spigot: I'M NOT TRYING TO PRESSURE YOU SERIOUSLY BECAUSE YOU'RE A FRIEND I'M PREPARED TO LET YOU JERK FIRST SINCE YOU'RE RIGHT HERE

pants: 4 COCKS AT ONCE ??? pants: ALL RIGHT pants: BUT I WILL BURN OUT IF NOT PROPERLY OILED OR OTHERWISE MAINTAINED deuce: I AM WILLING TO TAKE THAT RISK

pants: PUNCH THE COCK, WIN $10 pants: OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OH GOD HERE'S YOUR MONEY

dick: T DEUCE WANNA WIFE SWAP ??? BUT SINCE NEITHER ONE OF US IS MARRIED WE CAN JUST SUCK EACH OTHER OFF AND PRETEND deuce: T DICK I DO NOT SEE HOW EITHER OF US COULD LOSE OUT WITH THAT ARRANGEMENT

deuce: EVERYTIME MY WINDOWS 10 MACHINE DOES AN AUTOMATIC UPDATE AND REBOOTS MY WINDOWS ALL REOPEN BUT THEY'RE ALL SIZED AND PLACED WRONG AND IT REALLY KIND OF PISSES ME OFF pants: THIS IS TRULY THE YEAR OF THE LINUX DESKTOP (HAND ON HEART, TEARS) deuce: SERIOUS THIS TIME!!!1

atandt: LET'S ALL PUT YEARS AFTER OUR NAMES LIKE WINDOWS 95 atandt: I'LL BE ATANDT 2010 deuce: I HATE YOU atandt: NAN

pants: WINE AND CHEESE PARTY AT MY PLACE pants: AND BY WINE I MEAN BEER pants: AND BY CHEESE I MEAN THE EXTRA CHEESE ON TOP OF THE PIZZA pants: EVERY NIGHT FOR NINE MONTHS pants: RESULTING IN LEAKY, HORRIBLE SHITS pants: OH THIS IS MUCH TOO PERSONAL!!! WHERE IS THE BACKSPACE KEY spigot: ARE THE GIRLS SHOWING UP TODAY OR TOMORROW pants: ***SPLORSH*** HURRRRGLTH BRB

pants: TAKING A GREAT BIG BONGHIT AND THINKING ABOUT GOD pants: AND HOW HE OWES ME TWENTY BUCKS pants: THAT FUCKING PUNK deuce: DUDE THAT'S ATANDT YOU'RE THINKING OF pants: NO I'M PRETTY SURE I'M THINKING ABOUT GOD ALMIGHTY (JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR) atandt: I CAN ONLY CHANGE WINE TO COKE deuce: OH YEAH ???? WELL deuce: I CAN CHANGE WINE TO PISS deuce: IT'S A GIFT pants: A MAGICAL, WONDERFUL GIFT pants: PFFFPFPFPFT deuce: NO HOGGING

spigot: MY DAD POOFED INTO A BAT AND FLAPPED INTO MY ROOM AND PUT HIS WING DOWN MY PANTS

atandt: IF YOU DON'T MIND atandt: PLEASE REMOVE YOUR DONG FROM MY ARMPIT deuce: I AM KEEPING IT WARM (WINTER)

spigot: NICE WINTER WONDERLAND MOTIF spigot: ARE THE DICKS SMALL BECAUSE IT'S FREEZING OUTSIDE OR ???

pants: WHAT PART OF I'M THE TIMECOP DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND pants: HOW ABOUT THOSE YAMS THIS YEAR HUH MISTER atandt: BUMPER CROP pants: IF THERE IS A GANGBANG IN THE FOREST AND NOBODY IS THERE TO SEE IT DOES THAT MAKE ME GAY atandt: GET OUT OF HERE I'M TRYING TO POO

spigot: YOU WILL SUCK DICK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN spigot: HURMPH BLOGHRPBLRH*(U spigot: HAVING ANOTHER MANIC MONDAY

spigot: I GOT LOGGED OUT

spigot: NOW MORE THAN EVER WE NEED BRUCE WILLIS deuce: SEND HIM IN OPPOSITE DENZEL WASHINGTON

spigot: I SURE WISH I COULD LIVE A LONG LONG LONG TIME

spigot: IF ONLY THERE WERE SOMEONE HERE TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE spigot: AND KICK ME IN THE NUTS spigot: AND TELL ME I'M PRETTY

spigot: CONCERNED THE PANTS ICON FEELS A LITTLE WISPY pants: A LITTLE SWISHY spigot: A WHISPER ***FEY*** AND MAYBE A BIT ***TWEE***

pants: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WITH A STRAIGHT FACE THAT YOU'VE NEVER GIVEN HEAD TO ANONYMOUS MARINES IN THE BACK OF A CAMARO WITH QUIET RIOT PLAYING CAN YOU ??? I THOUGHT NOT

spigot: KNOCK KNOCK deuce: WHO'S THERE spigot: TOM deuce: TOM WHO spigot: TOM ********WANKS******** spigot: WITH A W

: He's not drunk, he's Spigot the Bear! New episodes start this fall. spigot: WHEN YOU SAID OUT FOR A DRINK I THOUGHT YOU MEANT LIKE WITH AN ACTUAL GLASS spigot: PLUH PTTH BUH TAKE ME HOME

pants: MEET ME AT THE DOWNTOWN JIZZERY pants: I'LL BE THERE WITH BELLS ON pants: SERIOUSLY I WILL BE WEARING FUCKING BELLS pants: SO YOU WILL BE HEARING ME BEFORE I ARRIVE pants: JINGLE JINGLE JINGLE AND THEN BOOM I'M THERE IN THE JIZZERY, FRONT ROW pants: MAD RESPECT YO pants: HAVE WE DISCUSSED REPLACING THE NUMBERS 3 AND 4 WITH KITTY AND CAT pants: SO WE WOULD COUNT 1 2 KITTY CAT 5 6 7

spigot: HEY DICKS (THAT'S WHAT I SHOUT) spigot: HEY DICKS (I'M DRUNK) spigot: WITH EACH GULP OF BOOZE I CARE LESS AND LESS ABOUT JERKCITY'S BOOTDISKS

spigot: HEY IT'S JUST ME LEAVING A MESSAGE WITH IMPLIED URGENCY BUT NO CONTEXT!!!! PLEASE CALL BACK WHEN YOU GET A SEC spigot: I CAN BE REACHED AT TWENTY OTHER NUMBERS WHICH FORCE YOU TO REWIND AND PLAY THIS CONTEXT-FREE MESSAGE AGAIN

spigot: with my dong and your bong we'd be invincible spigot: intermittent fasting while dicklicking? spigot: put your shirt back on

spigot: MORE TOKENS FOR THE GAY VIDEO BOOTHS PLEASE atandt: DO I KNOW YOU spigot: SIR deuce: HOLY HELL NOT AGAIN WITH MY FACE AND NOSE spigot: PLEASE HURRY UP AND SPURT BEFORE MY PARENTS GET HOME deuce: EITHER ONE OF YOU

deuce: ARE GIRLS THE ONES WITH OR WITHOUT PENISES pants: DID YOU EVEN CHECK THE MONSTER MANUAL

spigot: I SURELY WISH IT DIDN'T TAKE ME THAT LONG TO GET MY REAR-END TOPMOST deuce: WITH PRACTICE YOU'LL GET BETTER

deuce: HOW ABOUT REGARDING YOUR BIG FAT ASS spigot: AND WHAT ABOUT WITH RESPECT TO ME KICKING YOUR NUTS deuce: T SPIGOT THIS TOO SHALL PASS

spigot: WHAT spigot: WHO WITH THE SUCKING spigot: BED

spigot: WHY DON'T YOU spigot: UH spigot: WITH THE spigot: EXIT STAGE NUTS

pants: SUCKING ANYTHING WITHIN 5-10" OF MY MOUTH

spigot: PRETTY SURE MY PENIS HANGING OUT IS FREE SPEECH pants: FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION pants: THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS pants: A THRILL FOR THE LADIES pants: WE ARE ALL WINNERS HERE

spigot: WITHOUT ME, THE FLOPPY DISKS WOULD JUST GO UNLABELED

spigot: PAINFUL SHOE-SIZED SHITS pants: LEARNING TO FLY THE HARD WAY spigot: I SAY IF IT'S EVEN REMOTELY OR SLIGHTLY BROWN, FLUSH IT DOWN pants: WHAT spigot: MY BIG RED TRUCK NEEDS SOME REAR END WORK pants: GO ON

net: LETS TALK ABOUT AMIGA GFX MY NICKNAME WILL BE WOLFWINGS SHADOWFLIGHT

spigot: STUDY SAYS WOMEN MORE STRESSED THAN MEN spigot: WELL WHO FUCKING ASKED FOR IT GALS spigot: LET US IN THE WORKPLACE!!!!! LET US IN THE MILITARY!!!!! WE HAVE LOTS TO CONTRIBUTE!!!!!! spigot: HURRRR THESE BACKPACKS ARE HEAVY AND COMPUTERS ARE HARD AND I CAN'T GET AN ABORTION spigot: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T GET FOUR MONTHS OFF TO HAVE A BABY!?!?!?!! spigot: WELL BACK TO PITCHING SUBSCRIPTIONS TO THE SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS OVER THE PHONE

deuce: WOMEN ARE WHISPERING ABOUT MY PATHETIC LITTLE DICK pants: OOH I CARE ABOUT THAT

spigot: DREAMING I'M SLEEPWALKING INTO THE TOILET AND WIPING MY ASS WITH SLICES OF WONDER BREAD?????? spigot: I AM TRULY SICKENING MYSELF AT THIS POINT spigot: NOTHING LEFT TO DO BUT GO AROUND THE ROOM ASKING FOR DONATIONS

: PANTS FINDS SHIT IN HIS BEARD pants: OH WOW MAN pants: I WONDER HOW LONG THAT'S BEEN GOING ON (CHECKS POCKETS, FINDS ENOUGH CHANGE TO BUY COFFEE, WANDERS AROUND DOWNTOWN FOR A WHILE, MASTURBATES IN THE GREYHOUND RESTROOM EVEN AFTER ASSURING SECURITY I WOULD NOT, RETURNS HOME TO FIND NO MESSAGES)

spigot: DO YA KNOW / WHERE YOU'RE GOIN' TO spigot: DO YA LIKE / THE THINGS THAT / LIFE IS SHOWIN' YOU spigot: CAN I START / BY BLOWIN' YOU spigot: BAM BAM BAM SIR IN THE STALL NEXT TO MY OWN pants: AREN'T THE ACOUSTICS IN HERE WONDERFUL

pants: GRINDING AGAINST YOU pants: PAIN AND VIOLENCE pants: CRACKING YOUR SKULL THEN MOUTH-FUCKING YOU AND WONDERING WHY MY DICK IS BURNING

spigot: WOO HOO UH DUH BURP FURP IS THIS WHAT FAGGOTS DO

spigot: WE'RE SORRY, THIS COMPUTER HAS BEEN FLAGGED FOR SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY. spigot: REALLY BECAUSE ALL I DID WAS VISIT VINTAGEGAYDICKS.COM spigot: FOLKS IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME WHERE I'M DONE DRINKING AND READY FOR BED, BLANKETS AND OLD TIME RADIO SHOWS spigot: DO YOU NEED UPDATES ABOUT WHEN MY PIZZA GETS HERE spigot: IN THE MEANTIME I CAN OPEN ALL THE TABS I WANT pants: YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO SEE FOODIES THE MUSICAL TONIGHT spigot: OH RIGHT WE HAVE TICKETS TO THE CASA DE FRUTA CUP FLIPPER pants: AND THE OPENING ACT??? MISTER ROBIN WILLIAMS spigot: SETTING MY ALARM FOR 4:30AM BECAUSE LATER WE'RE DRIVING DOWN 101 AND TOURING THE JELLY BELLY FACTORY

spigot: T PANTS I'VE HEARD DANCING CAN LEAD TO DRINKING pants: AND COCKSUCKING pants: S-SO I'VE HEARD

deuce: word to the wise: _dick pics_ means _pictures of dicks_

pants: CAKESANDCANDYANDPIESANDWHAT HAVE YOU spigot: I HIT HER WITH MY CAR AND HERFANCYBOY NANCYBOOTSFLEW INTO THE AIR pants: BIGINDIANBLANKET pants: +------+| PISS |+------+

spigot: CHAD FAMILY ANNIHILATOR pants: VIRGIN WEEKEND DAD

deuce: SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MY WORDS CAN HURT OTHERS deuce: WHAT POWER I WIELD deuce: HURP THERE GO THE DICKS

spigot: WORDS FOR USENET WITHOUT ACTUALLY USING THE FUCKING WORD!!!!!!!! LET'S GO pants: PEOPLECLUSTERS spigot: COLLABRA pants: ALTAVISTATALK spigot: DEJA-BLABSPACE pants: EPINIONS spigot: DICKLICKING pants: COMVERSATION PODS spigot: HORRIBLE BLOWJOBS pants: CRAWLSPACE spigot: TINKLE-SQUIRTS pants: MY MOTHER NEEDS HELP INSTALLING AOL spigot: DID I ALREADY SAY TOILET DUCK

spigot: RUN JERKCITY spigot: EXEC JERKCITY spigot: TELNET JERKCITY spigot: PING JERKCITY spigot: LIST JERKCITY deuce: T SPIGOT YOUR WORDS HURT ME

deuce: SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE atandt: YOUR WORDS HURT ME deuce: UP THE NUTS

spigot: STOP USING WORDS THAT HURT AND START USING COCKS THAT POKE

spigot: turns out there are words you can't say anymore deuce: in my day we had normal fonts and faggot fonts and literally that was it

pants: ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET IT ALL OVER MY FACE AND EYES deuce: THAT'S WHAT THE LABEL SAYS pants: WHAM BAM POW KA-ZAP deuce: BLA-DOW!!!! pants: THE LABEL SAYS JUST TO WASH WITH SAME COLORS AND TUMBLE DRY pants: WAIT NO THAT'S JUST-- NO THAT'S RIGHT pants: I GET EASILY CONFUSED deuce: TURN IT UPSIDE-DOWN AND READ IT AGAIN pants: IT JUST SAYS AND I'M QUOTING HERE SO DON'T THINK I'M RACIST THAT... pants: WORF AND DATA ARE DOIN' IT IN THE HOLODECK deuce: THAT'S NOT RACIST THAT'S JUST GROSS pants: YOU MAY BE RIGHT

spigot: KNOCK KNOCK deuce: NO spigot: SERIOUSLY KNOCK KNOCK deuce: WHO'S THERE spigot: WIP deuce: WIP WHO spigot: WIPING URINE DROPLETS OFF THE TOILET WITH MY SOCK deuce: WHY WOULD YOU DO A WOMAN'S WORK spigot: ** AND ** I WAS WEARING THE SOCK

pants: PUT ME IN THE CORNER pants: THEN DING THE BELL AND I'LL COME OUT FIGHTING deuce: BUT YOU'LL NEVER LEARN YOUR LESSON pants: YOU STICK TO WORKING THE REFS AND I'LL SLOWLY LEVEL UP MY BRAIN DAMAGE deuce: YOU DON'T DING A BELL YOU RING THE BELL BUT THE BELL DOES IN FACT GO DING pants: CAN'T YOU GO ANY FASTER deuce: DING pants: AHLGALGHALG HLUAHGLUAHGLUAH LUGHLAGHNLAG

pants: T HITLER BE GAY WITH ME uncredited hitler: T PANTS NIE

spigot: SIRS spigot: I SWEAR I BOTTLED UP ALL MY URINE spigot: PUT DOWN THE STICK spigot: I CAN BE QUIET spigot: PLEASE CALL MY BBS

spigot: <DING> BONEQUEST.STORE ORDER INCOMING deuce: THEY WANT A PAPERBACK EH pants: HOW ABOUT INSTEAD: THE CONTENTS OF MY CATBOX spigot: <DING> BONEQUEST.STORE ORDER INCOMING deuce: STICKERS ??? pants: STUFFING PENNIES AND CAT HAIR INTO THE ENVELOPE spigot: <DING> BONEQUEST.STORE ORDER INCOMING deuce: BUTTONS??? pants: REPLACING YOUR SKU WITH A LIVE SQUIRREL FROM THE BACKYARD spigot: UM DING pants: WHAT pants: SOMEONE'S T-SHIRT HAS A LOAD ON IT

deuce: DO YOU THINK IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE WE'D BE FRIENDS effigy: ...ONLY IN THIS ONE :GREEN_HEART: :YELLOW_HEART: :ORANGE_HEART:

deuce: COULD WE ALL HAVE A DISCUSSION HERE ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PRIORITY AND SEVERITY IN OUR BUG REPORTS deuce: I THINK THIS DEMANDS A THREE-HOUR MEETING BECAUSE THIS KIND OF SUBJECT IS VERY IMPORTANT pants: OKAY PEOPLE BUG REPORT pants: COCKS: THEY HURT -- WHAT TO DO ??? SIGNED CONFUSED FROM JERKCITY deuce: WORKSFORME

spigot: I HAVE THE WORLD'S GREATEST DRAFTS FOLDER I'M JUST OPENING IT UP TO PAID SUBSCRIBERS spigot: FLOATING UP TO HEAVEN TO BE WITH HITLER spigot: THEORETICALLY COULD A PERSON GET CANCELLED IF THERE WERE A VIDEO OF HIM (OR HER) DOING THE BARTMAN

pants: CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS pants: THERE IS NO NEED TO FORM ANY LINE ON THE PLATFORM pants: ORANGE GROVES AND OPEN FIELDS

pants: T DEUCE BE GAY WITH ME AND ME AND ME pants: T DEUCE HUNKER DOWN AND LET'S SUCK ALL THE DICKS PRESENT deuce: T PANTS HOW THE FUCK MANY OF YOU ARE THERE ANYWAY pants: T DEUCE WORM YOUR WAY OVER HERE AND LET'S LOOK FOR NEW RECRUITS

pants: OH GOD THE WORMHOLE GOT HIM deuce: HELP I'M IN THE WORMHOLE

pants: GRIPEHOLES deuce: WHAT ABOUT WORMHOLES spigot: WORF pants: HORATIO HORNBLOWER??? spigot: I THINK IT IS JUST WORF spigot: LIEUTENANT WORF pants: DO I SALUTE???

pants: LET'S PLAY MINECRAFT TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD THIS IS WORSE THAN RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO BACK TO THE RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! deuce: NO TURN UP THE RAPE TO DROWN OUT THE MINECRAFT MEMORIES!!!!

pants: WORTH CONSIDERING: MY WIENER deuce: FECKLESS pants: WHEREAS I SEE THEGLASS AS FECKFUL deuce: AND SCENE

spigot: JUST CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY FORCES AND INTERACTIONS BEHAVE SO DIFFERENTLY AT SMALL SCALES THAN THEY DO LARGE SCALES spigot: WHY IS PETTING A CAT AND PUNCHING A CAT SO FUNDAMENTALLY DISSIMILAR spigot: A DICK IN YOUR MOUTH AND A DICK UP YOUR ASS SHOULD OBEY THE SAME SET OF RULES — BUT NO spigot: ANYWAY, WORTH NOODLING ON FOR 200 YEARS spigot: COULD ED BARBARA FROM FURNITURE USA FLY OR WAS THAT A DREAM

spigot: WOULD IT BE GAY IF I JUST DIED

pants: CAN I COME ON YOUR TITS deuce: I WOULD PREFER NOT

pants: CLOSE ALL THE WINDOWS AND FILL THE HOUSE FULL OF SPURT pants: SOME WILL LEAK OUT BUT THE SPURT WILL BE MANUFACTURED FASTER THAN THE LEAKAGE deuce: SPURT LEVELS RISING AT VARYING RATES (SLOWLY, THEN FAST, THEN SLOWLY AGAIN) pants: WOULD THAT IT WERE SO SIMPLE

pants: T DEUCE WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY MOUSEHOLE deuce: DID YOU MEAN: _MOUSTACHE_

spigot: WOULD YOU NOT NOT LIKE TO NOT UNLICK A DICK YOU DIDN'T LICK??!?!?!!? spigot: ANSWER ME

spigot: WOULD YOU LICK DICK FOR A CHANCE TO WIN THE ULTIMATE GAMING PC

pants: PANTS (FROM JERKCITY) NOW MORE THAN EVER pants: WOW IT'S ME pants: LOOK OUT WORLD pants: HERE COMES MOUTH pants: ARE YOU THERE GOD IT'S ME PANTS (FROM JERKCITY)

spigot: I'M GOING TO CALL YOU WRANGLER deuce: BECAUSE I'M ONE TOUGH CUSTOMER???? spigot: I GUESS I MEANT WANGLER

spigot: LADY YOU ARE A FUCKING CHICKEN spigot: AND WHEN YOU GET TOO OLD TO LAY EGGS I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU OUT BACK AND WRING YOUR NECK LIKE ONE OF MY JIZZED-UP CONCERT SHIRTS spigot: FUCKING CHICKEN LADY

spigot: I LIKE NUTS EVERYONE spigot: THANKS WRITE BACK

spigot: CRAZY CHOMPY QUEER MOUTH pants: STUFFING DICKS IN MY FACE IS WHAT I DO BEST pants: BEIN' MYSELF spigot: WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW deuce: BUH spigot: STOP FOLLOWING ME

deuce: I'M WITH CHEKOV HERE deuce: IF A COCK APPEARS IN THE PLAY IN ACT 1 THE IT HAD BETTER GET SUCKED BY ACT 3